I really love my husband so much but why is it that everytime that I would refuse to have sex with him he would always think that I don't love him anymore and he would suspect me of having an affair with another man?
2006-07-06 18:51:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
~What, you think he married you for your wit and charm?
Interesting choice of words: "everytime that I would 'REFUSE' to have sex". Tells me everything I need to know about the problem.
2006-07-06 18:57:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really bad sign. Whether this is fair or not should be the least of your concerns. Whether you can live like this for a lifetime is the real concern. Either he's incredibly insecure and really believes this; or he's incredibly manipulative or both.
You're going to need to be secure enough for both of you. I'd tell him that your going to be married for 60+ years and that in that time there are just going to be days that you're not going to have sex. Period. End of story.
The problem is that he's not being rational. You can't really reason with unreason.
Good luck.
2006-07-07 02:03:33 · answer #2 · answered by Millie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men, especially young men under 40 take it as a personal rejection...not being mature enough to think about it and realize that maybe his wife or woman just doesn't want to have sex, and that it has nothing to do with Love. Sex is NOT Love, and it's just so sad that most men don't seem to grasp that fact! It sounds like your husband is very insecure with himself. Hopefully he'll mature and realize that you are his wife, not his property, and to just get over himself. Some men never get past that, but most men over 45 finally get to a secure point in their lives where they settle down and mature, and don't confuse sexual activity with manhood.
2006-07-07 02:44:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its the way that guys think. it sucks that we do this, but its like that. I wish we could block this inscentive out of our minds, but to be honest with you. we're not that bright and we're very insecure. You're husband probably has insecurty issues, or else he wouldn't be saying things like "you dont love me anymore" etc or "you having an affair?" He's controlling by the sounds of it, and thats not a good sign in a marraige. My advice to you is this...don't fight over it, and don't give into him everytime he wants it...that's not your role in the marriage. Just reason with him and tell him that you love him for who he is and thats why you married him...I don't know...Im just a guy...hope this helps you out and no it's not fair.
2006-07-07 02:03:05 · answer #4 · answered by deais74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be insecure about why you do not want sex. Just explain to him that it is not another man or a lack of love keeping you from making love to him. There is just a time that you are just not in the mood. It used to make my husband feel "un-loved" when I would not be in the mood but I explained to him that it was simply that - I was not in the mood.
2006-07-07 02:05:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men don't understand that sometimes women just aren't in the mood. Sex is a way to express your love and by you not wanting to, he simply just doesn't understand why. Maybe there's a deeper reason why you don't want to have sex that you should explore.
2006-07-07 01:54:36 · answer #6 · answered by sarahjaniepoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man want more and more to reassure them that his partner is still in love with him.
Handle the situation gently so that he realises that u love him and sex has got nothing to do with this.
2006-07-07 01:55:21 · answer #7 · answered by Kumar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are in the mood all the time and we don't understand the concept of not being in the mood. All the other crap is an attempt to guilt you into it.
2006-07-07 01:56:58 · answer #8 · answered by stang_envy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex is a biggie for men and any relationship. So make your relationship work, by working out the whole sex situation.
2006-07-07 02:00:33 · answer #9 · answered by estefany v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I think for men the most important thing is Sex...so if you denie that to them they recent it. And that of telling you that you don't love him...that is just pure manipulation...trying to make you feel guilty....and is working!! Try to explain him why you don't wanna have sex that time..he might understand.
2006-07-07 01:58:27 · answer #10 · answered by fun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋