how do i tell my husband i dont love him anymore?

Question

i dont know how to tell my hubby that i am not in love with him. and also that i never was. I still love my ex.

it was a very hard situation and i really feel that my decision was based on our friendship at the time. we were good friends and he helped me to get out of the situation i was i. and then i found out i was pregnant by my ex. i didnt want to raise my baby in the way of life my ex was leading at the time.

Answer 1

Sometimes, when a marriage is over, both parties know it but don't want to acknowledge it. Unless he is made of cardboard, he probably knows already...but of course, some part of him isn't ready to acknowledge it yet. Don't make it personal. Let him know it is you who have changed, and that you need to be honest about it for both your sakes...and that maybe it is time you moved on. Be sensitive to his feelings. Let him talk...or leave him alone with this new information...you'll know which is best at the time. Tell him that maybe some time apart will help you to know your own feelings better. Open up some dialog...approach him gently...and leave him some dignity. It is not necessary to tell him you "Don't love him". Stick to your guns once it is out. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Love is a choice you make on a daily basis, not just an emotion. It's very difficult for me to believe that you never loved this man, if that were true why on earth did you marry him in the first place, and what were those 3 beautiful little girls a product of? Marriage isn't always easy, you aren't going to wake up to music and butterflies every morning, but that doesn't mean you throw everything you have together out the window just because you hit a low point. Maybe you should look into marital counseling, as there are probably underlying issues that have brought you to this conclusion. Stick with him and work out the problems, as if you don't you will probably discover that the grass really ISN'T greener on the other side. Don't stop trudging forward just because you hit some mud - do what it takes to pull through, and this will strengthen your relationship. Your commitment should run deeper than your love, and I'd like to remind you about the three little girls who look up and see mommy and daddy together as their family. Your ex is your past - things can never be the same with that person and you shouldn't even be dwelling on those thoughts. I do agree that you need to sit down and have a conversation with your husband, he deserves to know that you are struggling with this, and maybe it will help him recognize areas that he needs to grow as well. Please don't look at "lost that lovin' feeling" as a valid reason to throw everything else to the wind too. I'm including a couple links with this, best wishes.

Answer 3

The truth is you don't have to tell him your actions will show it soon enough. But before you tell him which is what you should do consider that being in love with someone is a feeling but loving someone is a choice. You choose to love someone because of who they are and how they are. This man has shown you a very beautiful example of love by being there for you when you needed someone and being a good husband to you. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions but their comes a time when we just need to make the decision right. Think about your child and ask your self if you owe it to your family to try and make your marriage work since it's obvious you went into it with the wrong idea. Then give counseling a shot and if you are unhappy with the results walk away.

Answer 4

Miss Rose,

You have got a big problem. Don't make it less than that by seeking advice in such a place as this. First, I suggest you seek counseling before you ruin your husband's life, your life, and quite possibly your ex's life. I'll try not to moralize, but why did you marry a man you're "not in love with" and never were in love with? Whether you still love your ex or not is immaterial. You married your current husband regardless of how you feel about your ex. It seems you've got to deal with your responsibility here and it is to yourself and to your current husband. And it's not just to dump him. Being "in love" is a feeling that is only a small part of loving someone. Your now spouse must have had something going for him; so what was it, and why can't that be what you build love on for him? You may not feel it, but it's a heck of a lot more important than your feelings. You seem a sharp young woman who can do what you want when you want to; so why don't you want to save your marriage: just because you love your ex. Guess what, honey, most of us still do. So what?

Answer 5

we all do things that are not always right at the time but seem right but all for the wrong reasons. the best thing to do is to sit him down and explain how you really feel and how you have felt all along he may get upset but than again he may understand and he maybe feeling the same way you are. just approach this situation with a open mind. let him know that you still love him as a friend and that you r very grateful for all the things he has done for you and all the help he has given you and just explain to him that you dont love him in the way a wife should love a husband. if he is your friend and he loves you he will understand. if he gets upset dont get mad at him give him some time to sort things out. i wish you the best of luck with your situation and hope all works out for you.

Answer 6

If he is a sensitive person you need to sit down and talk. A counselor might help if you don't have the courage to sit down and talk with your husband.
If he is NOT a sensitive person then just ask for a divorce. But honestly you are pretty stupid to marry someone you don't love unless you were forced into the marriage, if so then I'm sorry.
good luck

Answer 7

You should have never married him.You marry someone because you love that person,and you want to spend your life together.The best thing is to stop living a lie and tell him the truth.And as for your ex,there is a reason that you call him your ex.

Answer 8

You married this man, Under God, till death do you part. Sounds to me, that you need to look into your soul, get over you ex-and bring back the love in your marriage, you once had.

An-Ex-is an-Ex for a reason. Don't go back wards in life, go forward. And honor your Vows.

Answer 9

You know it's fine that you don't love him and you say you never did, and you say your in love with your ex still? why would you want to hurt anyone with three blows to the heart like that? Just leave, you don't love him remember...give him a chance too move on and meet someone who truly will.

Answer 10

listen honey, u just sit him down over lunch or dinner and explain it to him nice and simple but tell him the whole truth. maybe you should first hold his hand and say:'dear, lets have prayer, then tell him how you feel.i'm in a similar situation, i don't love my other half either, the man i'm in love with died and i'm still so in love with him, you can only pretend for so long. what if he felt that way? he'll cheat and use you as a doormat,just do it