AM i REALLY SO HATEFUL?????? IF NOT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????

Question

IHAVE RAISED 5 CHILDREN; 13 GRANDCHILDREN; AND CARING FOR 3 GREAT GRANDEST BABIES. mY HUSBAND IA A BAR PERSON,.LEAVING EVERYDAY BY FIVE TO THE BAR. UNTIL WASTED. HE HAS SUPPORTED US. I HAVE DONE ALL THE REST PLUS WORKED OUTSIDE THE HOME.
PROBLEM?
WHY AM I ALONE ALL THE TIME NOW?i LOVE MY HUSBAND BUT SINCE HE RETIRED THE BAR IS HIS UNO FIRST PRIORITY. i HATE BARS AND DONT DRINK.ALL MY KIDS ARE GROWN AND HAVE THEIR OWN. FAMILIES. BUT THEY ALL TEND TO DRIFT BY HIM FOR A "QUICK" ONE.
I AM ON THE THERE HAND LEFT LONLY AND DEPRIVED. WHAT CAN I DO. I DON'T FIT IN ANYMORE.

Answer 1

I don't know about hateful. But you sure do sound angry. And it sounds like you've got good reason. Why do you stay with this man who abandons you to be at a bar until he's wasted?

No offense, but he sounds like he might be an alcoholic. And that you've enabled him to function as a normal, productive man. But he's not contributing much to your relationship.

You wrote that you are all alone now. That you are lonely and feel deprived. And that you don't fit in with your family anymore. Do you want to fit in? How much are you willing to change/sacrifice to fit in? Sounds like you've already tried to fit in. Maybe you deserve better company that appreciates you for who YOU are.

What are you interests? You don't like bars. What do you like? Where do you like to go? We can't pick our families, but we can pick our friends who can feel like family if we develop those relationships.

I think your nest is empty and that you'd expected some appreciation and some loyalty from all those that you'd nurtured. Nurture yourself now. You may be surprised that when you start to see yourself as an interesting and worthwhile person, you family will start to see you and treat you that way too.

I feel for you. I know you are hitting bottom--but there is no where to go but up from here.

Answer 2

I am sorry and can imagine how you must feel. My grandmother practically raised me and we are very close. Talk to your family about how you feel. There is no need to take up drinking. I am sorry to hear your husband gets wasted. He is setting himself up for many problems. If talking to him about the problem does not work then make your home the place to be. Look into stocking a home bar and keep your husband home and invite your family over for a drink. It will prevent your husband from driving and limit his spending. Its only a temporary fix though. IF your husband is an alcoholic you need to seek help. And who says you cant get out? If you can drive and have the car go pay your family a visit. Dint let him have the car. Drop him off at the bar and let him find a ride home. If he drives he risks an accident and his life or someone Else's. Don't wait for people to come to you, make things happen. You don't have to fit in but you do need to talk to your family and tell them how you feel.

Answer 3

I Will not tell any one to leave there husband. Since you can't go to the bar. Bring some some friends to your house. Tell those kids to get washed up, and get in the bed. Break out the liquor, Beer, cards, music, and invite some friends. You can tell them to bring there kids for a sleep over. Have fun!

Answer 4

Mary, its time now for you to enjoy life. don't waste your time. Pack up your bags and buy a plane ticket to a place where you've always wanted to see. If your husband chooses he wants to follow you. then thats all good. But you're grown woman now. You need to see the world through your eyes, not be deprived of everything life has to offer you. No more Mary. Keep your chin up, do something for yourself now...the world awaits you. Good luck

Answer 5

because some Christians are hateful and delusional. You got here upon the favor to communicate about the total lot you're, besides to being Christian, because you're conscious that Christians have a popularity of being the full opposite. Christians are commonly a procedures-accurate, mutually with the unlucky idea that Earth doesn't favor to be dealt with, and that homosexuality is sinful. there is also the Creationism, that is extra like the detest of teaching. Believing in a supernatural flying guy is truly unbelievable, and the argument that "a minimal of you've lived your existence, even if you're incorrect" is Pascal's wager which will nicely be utilized to easily about all religions. "even if Thor isn't genuine, a minimal of I lived like someone who believes in Thor." thinking the fashion of religions, the fashion of inconsistencies, and the undeniable actuality that "taking the holy e book that is in holding with actually" in simple terms about continually leads to being incorrect ... you're probably incorrect. i'm not declaring that each and each and every one Christians are "hateful," yet even as they truly take their faith heavily... they do evil issues. That must be a nasty signal. perchance you ought to re-evaluate.

Answer 6

Well it doesn't sound like he'd give a rats *** if you just did your own thing. I fell very bad for you though. That's a lot of work and now you have nothing it sounds like. Very rewarding during, but not after - that bites.

It sounds like you're going to have to find some new interests aside from family. That's gotta be difficult though.

I wish you best.

Answer 7

Children, esp the ones below the age of five are the best friends. They do not expect anything else love from you and return the same by multiplying... So, enjoy with them... YOU ARE NOT HATABLE; YOU ARE BEING IGNORED, YES.

Answer 8

winnning your husband back is slow and difficult process..

think no less of your-self.. and stop nagging about him going to the bar.. the more you try to pull the stubborn he becomes..

try to rediscover his interests in life.. fishing.. camping.. plane-models.. carpenting.. motorcars.. etc.. and try to lure him outside the bar.. sounds stuipid, i know.. but a man does not go to a bar frequently unless he is depressed feeling useless and clueless..

winning your children back is harder than to win your grandchildren.. and thats how you get to your children..

all the best..

Answer 9

Maybe it is time to change the priorities in your life and think of you.

Talk to your husband about your unhappiness, see where it takes you.

Answer 10

Maybe try using your grandkids as an excuse to get out and meet people. Sometimes from schools or kid friendly places you will meet someone to talk to.