I have acne really bad underneath my chin which is currently being treated by medication and dermatoligist. I get compliments on how clear my skin is usually. A lady I work w/ we were talking casually about work, she then interrupted and says "what happened to your chin, I replied acne and she told me I need to put some Nutrogena on that b/c it looked bad and kept talking. The other situation my neighbor is 50 but when she throws on her wig and contacts she looks 20. For the holiday I invited her over to eat dinner and my dad and boyfriend complimented her on her wig and fake eyes, they both went on about how they almost did recognize her because she looked good.I could have died! How should I respond to both situations?
2006-07-06 18:35:58 · 17 answers · asked by nene 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Maintain your dignity in all these type of situations.
2006-07-06 18:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've found the best answer that always works when somebody asks me a rude or inconsiderate question about anything I'm uncomfortable with answering is this and it works everytime!! Here goes: In a very SWEET voice, smile sincerely and say, "And why do you want to know?" They don't know what to say and the tables are turned. You've taken care of the ignorance of the person and possibly teach them a lesson to be more considerate. Anytime somebody is rude to us, we have the right to teach them a lesson in a very "sweet" voice and kill them with kindness, and an unexpected answer.
And for the other question: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus and often you will have to cover up for what a male in your life says so have some lines ready. You could have quickly interjected the statement when your dad and boyfriend said what they said, that she looked elegant and about how much you appreciated her taking the trouble to look nice for your holiday meal. Ask her if she enjoys dressing up and experimenting with girly things, as 50 year old women still like to play. She may enjoy getting to talk about herself and it will make her feel good that you are making conversation with her about things she knows about. Older women enjoy young women being sincerely interested in make up, hair, wigs, etc. You might even have told her you wore a wig one time and you weren't sure how to fix it. Ask her advice. You can tell if she's comfortable discussing it. Anybody who makes the effort to help another person be comfortable is a "total lady," and whoever taught you that did a great job. Kindness is a lost art and we need more young people to get it started again. Those of us who bless others are twice blessed.
2006-07-07 01:53:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are saying it to you, consider the source! If the person with the comments is kind of "flaky" in the first place, getting angry or upset with them probably won't register with them that they did something wrong. Some people are just "rude and crude" and lack in social graces. Avoid getting into future dialog with them. If you think you might be able to say something without being angry to make them aware of their blunder, and might cause them to think before they speak, then go for it, otherwise, you will walk around for the rest of the day wishing you had corrected them. Sometimes people make comments about a subject they lack knowledge in. Some try to honestly comfort people with inappropriate comments, like at funerals, because they don't realize that it is sometimes better to be silent, while others just just have difficulty controlling their tongue.
Also, counting to ten and taking a deep breath works sometimes. Walking away is sometimes helpful. Verbally blasting them right away would probably release some stress, but then you might say something that you would have to apologize for. These are just a few responses to take your pick from.
2006-07-07 02:11:04 · answer #3 · answered by macfifty06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sir Winston Churchill and a lone lady MP in the House of commons used to go at it back and forth and some of his responses might give you an idea of quick come backs
Example.
Lady : You are drunk
Sir Winston : Yes and you are ugly diffence being I shall be sober in the morning.
Lady: If you were my husband I would give you poison to drink
Sir Winston: If you were my wife I would drink it.
Once I knew a lady given to bragging about her boat and how big it was I responded wow did you know I had relatives on Noah's ark?
Old lady : you have zits
Come back: Yes and your ten years away from a feeding tube.
An American footbal player said the best defense is a strong offense - thats my suggestion
2006-07-07 01:44:32 · answer #4 · answered by Trout 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as far as the first situation. remember stupid is what stupid does. people like that notices things about other people to hide their own impurities so don't even drop to that level. as far as the other situation with yur father and boyfriend there is nothing wrong with paying a compliment. besides when the wig comes off and the eyes come out it is back to reality where as your natural. however it is nothing wrong with telling them that it is always nice to hear a compliment for yurself.
2006-07-07 01:57:32 · answer #5 · answered by naztman2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shrug and smile. no harm done and nobody died. mountain in a teacup, tempest on a molehill oops mixed my metaphors but you get my drift, don't sweat the small stuff and as Hoyt said it is all small stuff, good luck with the chin pimples the old lady at work meant well and the fifty year old neighbour knows that she is fifty, so she was likely quite flattered by your brother and father giving awkward compliments
2006-07-07 01:44:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why bother? Some stupid things are better ignored.... Or, If you want to be a smart-***, next time someone says, 'what happened to your chin?" say, 'what happened to your manners?' Or, " what happened to the small *** you had?' Whatever, you get the point.
2006-07-07 01:42:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the case of the nosy cowrorker, sigh a little bit inside and hope that you yourself don't say similarly dumb things to other people, then forgive her.
In the case of your neighbor, I suspect that she wasn't taken aback by the comments.
Best wishes and God bless.
2006-07-07 01:41:07 · answer #8 · answered by bobhayes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tilt your head and ignore stupid things, or move on readily to the next subject.
The more streamline the conversation, the less they will notice, and the less likely they'll remember that they were mocked tomorrow.
2006-07-07 01:38:47 · answer #9 · answered by Shane M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't
don't answer a fool according to his folly lest you look like a fool! Don't be embarrased by someone else's foolish behavior- let their words and actions speak for them and let your words and actions speak for you. The embarrassment is on their heads. As long as you keep your speech and actions clean - oyu have nothing to worry about
2006-07-07 01:41:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a sese of humour and luagh it off
if someone asks about your acne say to them with a real suprised look on your face and tone in your voice
my chin, oh my god what do u mean what is wrong with my chin
like it is any of her business anyway
2006-07-07 01:39:13 · answer #11 · answered by my_bleww_eyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋