2006-07-06 18:00:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I have been there for her since day one but from time to time she gets totally moody and snaps at everything I said or do. Always picks stupid things to start fights with me over and always seems to thinks its my fault. I am really needing help with her and I dont how much of this I can take.
It always turns out that I am out to hurt her more. Which is so far from the truth. She pushes me away and makes it seem like its my fault that I am not there for her.
I think she needs counceling but she wont go!
2006-07-06 18:11:30 · update #1
encourage her to get help
2006-07-06 18:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old was the child? Regardless she is not moving on. To tell you the truth I don't know if I would want to even live if I lost one of mine. Mine are adults. I think I could have gotten over a miscarriage it does make a difference. My daughter has a ten month old and it would be the end of life to her to lose that child. Nothing would replace her and every thing she does reminds her of the child.
If I could give this woman anything it would be the gift of the belief in God that there is a place where the child is safe and warm and loved. That she will see the child again some day.
She probably needs grief counseling too. This is something that she is going to have to seek herself. Right now she is in such pain I doubt she even can pull herself out. Does she have other children? She could be redirected to live for them. If not there is a gaping hole no matter what. She needs some new memories and something to take her mind off of the child. Perhaps you can talk her into going back to college to keep her mind preoccupied. The self esteem that gave me after my divorce was worth millions and I was not young to go back to school. It helped me divert my attention off of my problems. It was fabulous.
I almost lost my husband to grief after his brother committed suicide. We had his pictures up everywhere. A few weren't bad but there were momentos everywhere and I would find my husband in grief under the covers dieing to the world. I finally discreetly took these pictures down gradually and replaced them with recent ones, happy ones, and other peoples. dicreetly. He was already suffereing he didn't need to be constantly reminded every day of his loved one not there. I noticed a difference in my husband. He later on would have no problems with pictures. I doubt this will work for your friend I have a feeling she has probably errected a shrine for this lost child. Going to church for some counseling would definitely help. Good luck, be tollerant give her some space to grieve. But keep trying to bring positive, good things. Sometimes we get so busy grieving it is just a way of staying connected to the thing. I still cry for my husband that divorced and it was 8 years ago. Its all I have. Sad huh? I am better and realize it. In time she will too.
2006-07-06 18:21:38 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm sure that you've been a support and trying to comfort her all that time. But at somepoint, when your friend looses the will to live on you can try to stimulate her. You don't have to go out on dates and parties, but just getting the daily things in life done.
The thing i would say to your friend would be this:
You're child is somewhere in heaven and must be proud to have you caring about it to the point you're weeping even 1 and a 1/2 years afterwards. But how do you think the child would feel if it saw its mother being hurt for the rest of her life? Wouldn't that hurt the child even more?
There's no immediate solution to her question, but try stimulate stimulate stimulate (don't push though!!).
Good luck to both you and your friend.
2006-07-06 18:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by wijnha01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't too much you can do - she lost her child, that is something that only another person who has felt such a loss can understand. You need to be there for her and support her as much as you can - it may take her a very long time to grieve and she has every right.
Talk to her and let her know how you feel. Tell her you want to help and be there for her, but you just aren't sure what to do. Just be honest with her, but make sure to be sensitive.
2006-07-06 18:04:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well actually u can do somethin! Go over to her and comfort her! Tell her that ull always be there for her! And when ppl are depressed they would want to commit suicide and stuff like that! so make sure that ur there and call her almost everyday making sure that shes fine! And tell her that there are things that can be worst give her a tight hug and tell her that u luv her and that u care about her!
2006-07-06 18:09:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not be selfish. How would you feel if you lost a child? I would never be the same. You need to be there for your friend. Talk to her about it, ask her what you can do for her. She may need to get professional help. Would you want her to be asking this ?? if the situation was reversed. i would want my best friend to rely on at a time like that. God Bless you and your friend
2006-07-06 18:13:12 · answer #6 · answered by housewives5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just make sure ur friend knows that ure there for him/her. try to have some fun together...c a movie...dances are fun 2!
2006-07-06 18:04:58 · answer #7 · answered by Carmen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋