how do i deal with my gay friend?

Question

My friend is gay and he won't stop touching me and when he is talking with other people he is always talking about what he wants to do to me sexually. i don't like this and i really don't go that way. what should i do to let him know that i'm not gay and that he really needs to stop talking like that?

Answer 1

if you don't feel comfortable tell him that you are ok with being his friend but what he is doing is taking things out of comfort zone. let him know that you have nothing against gays but what he is doing is trying to convert you. let him know that you greatly enjoy the comfort of the female sex and you should probably get a gf that should turn him off.

Answer 2

Sit your friend down and level with him. Break it down exactly what he does that upsets you. Be serious and firm about it. Make your self clear. Some people are just poorly socialized. They honestly may not know how to act! Unless you tell him, he may not really know how bad he is making you feel. If he will not listen, that is on him. Let your friend know how you feel in no uncertain terms. This is not funny. If he won't stop then you will have to end the friendship and he needs to "get" this.

He is probably in love with you. But that is still no excuse. He has to learn that he can't treat people like that. What if he did that to the wrong straight person? He might find himself killed! What would happen if he did that to a co-worker? He needs to learn how to act and fast.

Maybe you could try the silent treatment. If he violates your rules - don't talk to him for 3 days. Not even a hello. If he does it again maybe make it a week.

Some guys - particularly those raised in hardline fundamentalist religions - go from extreme to extreme. One minute they are big sluts, the next they are repenting and preaching Jesus.

There is another possibility that he may need counciling. Maybe you could look up some sex therapy councilors that cater gays.

Best wishes to both of you.

Answer 3

If you've known this person for less than a year, he's just trying to get into your pants. I've dealt with the same thing for so long. It was flirting and offering bribes. I found it flattering but wasnt interested. I got him to stop for a small amount of time on a few occasions but it eventually came back to him wanting to get into my pants. At the time I was still in the closet. After coming out it still didn't stop. And I still wasn't attracted to him. Then eventually when I got a boyfriend and he realised that he was never going to get any from me he completely forgot about me. When I try to talk to him he's an *** so I just quit trying. The only thing that our relationship revolved around was him wanting to have sex with me and it was a complete waste of my time. Some friendship that was.

But if you tell him to stop and he respects it, then you're problem is solved.

Answer 4

tell him theres a difference between being gay and being an ididot. let him know you have no problem being his friend, but that making sexual advances that obviously bother you will not be tolerated. Tell him to stop tryiing to get attention as well. ive met many people (straight and gay!) who talk like that just to look cool and get attention.

Answer 5

Be really blunt and honest. If he doesn't lay off when you tell him you're not on the market (or not on his market), get a new friend. If you turn him down pretty much the same way you would a woman you weren't interested in, though, and tell him you're really not interested etc., he'll probably be all awkward and embarassed and leave you alone.

Answer 6

OK, this is not the definition of a friend. Tell him right out that his behavior is not OK, you want to be friends, but there's not going to be anything more than that between you. The trash talk? Tell him to stow it and grow up. If he can't keep his hands off of you and stop the sex talk, dump him.

Answer 7

First, tell him that you value your friendship.

Next, be honest and tell him that it makes you uncomfortable when he does x.

Explain that you still want to be friends, but part of being friends is having respect for each other and each other's boundaries.

If that doesn't work, you've done what you can and he should be willing to respect your wishes. If he doesn't, he obviously doesn't value you as a friend and is willing to risk your friendship by carrying on.

Answer 8

Don't worry. He just thinks you're the type of guy who doesn't care about that ****. I have straight friends who Do like me to do that, sometimes tell me to (especially in front of their girlfriends, its a hilarious time). You should be like ___________, quit acting so gay. It's embarassing. Next time you do it, I'm gonna tell (whoever he's acting out with) that you're shoes are from Wal-Mart. He'll stop, don't worry.

Answer 9

You must have done something or implies him that made him think you're gay. If not speak out about his behavior and how it makes you uncomfortable. Be serious enough so that he knows you mean business. Gives him ultimatum, stop behaving like that or you're out of his life. Good luck.

Answer 10

Put him in your shoes, ask him how he would feel if a female friend of his were doing the same things to him that he's doing to you. If this doesn't make him stop, tell him you can't be his friend any more if he doesn't stop.

Answer 11

You need to let him know that it makes you uncomfortable. Tell him you are straight and if he wants to keep your friendship, he needs to respect that. If he doesn't stop, then maybe it's time to look for a new friend.