what does "good marriage" entail?

Question

do u have a good marriage? how can u say so?

Answer 1

My parents were married for 45 years prior to the death of my father last year. In all that time, I often wondered what made the two of the stay and stick together. Recently I asked my mother your very question and her response was that to make a marriage a good marriage both must understand they must first be whole individuals apart from being married (none of that "my better half stuff) you need to be a whole individual first before marriage. The next thing she sited that made their marriage a good and strong one was that they both had a love of God, the next thing was that the two of them understood that in being individuals, they also needed to spend time with friends and do thing both together and alone. All I know is that they were married for 45 years. Never separated--never spent the night in separate beds unless one was in the hospital or sick and they never went to bed angry...so work--hard work of two grown individuals loving each other makes a good marriage.

Answer 2

Although it isn't very long, I have been happily married for almost 16 months. I think I have a wonderful marriage. I can look in my husbands eyes and see that he loves me. I know that he is by my side no matter what. I completely trust him in every aspect. He can tell what kind of mood I'm in just by looking at me. After an argument, he just holds me and tells me how much he loves me. He does sweet little things for me, like brings me flowers home for no reason, or brings Arby's home out of the blue (gotta love Arby's!!). He sucks up his pride and admitts when he's wrong. He deals with my annoying family because he knows how much they mean to me. He can make me smile when my whole world has collapsed. I try and be the best wife to him that I can be. I do my best to make him as happy as he's made me. While we both know that marriage isn't easy, we both know that at the end of the day, the other is standing there with arms wide open. The things that mean the most are the simplest. If I have a miagrain, he'll do the housework, and not think twice about it. He tells me he loves me all through out the day, even calls me from work to tell me. He comes over and grabs my hand and holds me. These are the things that make marriage worth it.

Answer 3

Communication, communication, communication!!! Also, trust, and the ability to put your spouses needs before your own, and the ability to be true to your spouse and to yourself. It doesn't hurt to fight or disagree once in a while, but when you disagree, have ground rules (fight fair--attack the problems and not each other or nitpick each others faults), because hurting your spouse does nothing positive for you or them. NOTHING!! Respect their space, and their opinion and their right to express it. Keep in mind that once the fairytale and "happily ever after" wears off, is when the real work begins. Money is a symptom, cheating is a symptom, arguing and fight is a symptom. You find the root causes for the symptoms, and eventually they will go away, and once they are gone, you can have a good marriage. Most of all, have God in the middle because a three coiled rope will pull greater weight than a single or double coil.

Answer 4

I do now. It's my second, and there were about seven years between the end of my first and the beginning of my second. During that time I learned that being committed to something means recognizing that wants, wishes, hopes, and desires that appear to conflict with your commitment are going to come and go, and they don't mean something's wrong with your commitment. That's the individual part - you have to recognize that the fact that you fantasize about being single from time to time doesn't mean there's something wrong with your marriage. Fantasies are like clouds and the weather: they come and go, and change all the time. Your word, and your commitment, can endure if you're up to it.

Then there's the "team" part of being married: you have to communicate effectively and fight fair, which means treating each other with respect. You have to let go of the little stuff, but never pretend that the big stuff is little - if you're letting go, you'd better let go for real, because bringing it up again is disrespectful and inauthentic.

Then, you have to have sex - enthusiastic, fun, frequent, and so on - and you've got to generate it and make it fun. The truth of the matter is that it's easy to let it get stale and old, just like anything, so you both have to keep it alive and lively.

The fundamental thing that people get wrong in relationships, I think, is that they say it's 50-50. The truth in my eyes is that it's 100% - 0%. In other words, you and you alone are 100% responsible for your experience of your marriage, just as you're 100% responsible for your experience in the rest of your life. That doesn't mean that your partner isn't responsible for contributing to the quality of the relationship - to the contrary, he or she is 100% responsible for his or her experience, too.

It's paradoxical and it's hard to get, and it's harder still to do, but people can have great relationships, even today, and even with the generally lousy example that their parents set.

Answer 5

im not married but i would say a good marriage entails trusting one another first off. no fighting. and loving each other unconditionally no matter what. you did get married for a reason right?? so i would think that should be a "good marriage"right there.

Answer 6

my sister has an awesome marriage. She has a very loving husband who treats her like a queen. She is a virtuous woman. A good marriage consists of two people who love and respect one another. My sister places the needs of her spouse before the needs of her own. Her spouse treats her in the same manner. They have been married for 12 years.

Answer 7

No, I didn't, but sometimes you learn more from failure than success. I would say a good marriage is built on trust, communication and understanding. Sharing is the foundation of a lasting, loving relationship.

Answer 8

A good marriage is about love, respect, and complete communication. If you don't have all three of these your marriage is more than likely not a healthy one.

Answer 9

I have a good marriage. A good marriage needs unconditional love and support from both partners.

Answer 10

Respect for each other. Being friends and supporting each other. Looking at the other person 5 years after you get married and getting choked up because you love them so much more than you did last year or the year before. The more you know about them the more you like them even after years. Knowing their flaws and realizing they don't matter overall.

Least that's how I felt until he died after 8 years.