I have moved on since our relationship (ended two years ago) but he has not. Me and my new boyfriend are extremely accomodating with him in regards to access to his son but he is inconsistent in his visits, rude on the phone, and even ruder in person. (he has even threatened physical harm, just to give you an idea he has been charged with assault 3X in the past year) Yet he still tells me that he loves me and that he wants me back blah blah. The guy was abusive and Im not going back. Anyways I recently heard that he has begun employment and to date he has given me no financial support for the child. (actually he stole $ from me on several occasions) In our court order it is stated that he pay me. should I even try to collect monies from him... This would probably worsen our relationship and may even make him quit his job and go back on welfare to be a bum for the rest of his life. I am having financial difficulties and could use the money but maybe I should just stick it out?
2006-07-06 17:00:21 · 18 answers · asked by PHD-NDN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also my current "great guy" boyfriend thinks it would be a waste of time to even try. And thinkin that I might get some $$$$ is just opening a door for my ex to toy with my emotions some more
2006-07-06 17:05:15 · update #1
Take him to court for your child's support, and if he is such a threat then you need to make sure he gets only supervised visitation. Which shouldn't be a problem because there are records of his abusiveness. Good luck :)
2006-07-06 17:07:52 · answer #1 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there was a court order for child support then the District Attorney's office where you originally filed should be handling the situation. Did you file a separate child support order? If not do so. Go to the county child support office in which you live and request the paperwork. You can also talk to the Family law facilitator to help you with this. There is no reason for you to go directly to him. Was there a court ordered visitation schedule and or custody? If not then you need to get that done. Been there done that. The child support office will help. Even if he stops working interest collects on the outstanding amount and with he deadbeat dad law (if you are not familiar with it you should research it) the penalties are no joke!!! Good luck!!!
2006-07-06 17:17:19 · answer #2 · answered by 2244 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a person that has gone through a divorce let me say, CHILD SUPPORT is just that, CHILD SUPPORT. You did not make that child by yourself. His father , is responsible for for financial support just as much as he is being an active parent in this child's life. I do have a question for you though, if you have moved on since your relationship, how can you be worried about worsening you relationship? You should be worried less about that and focus on making sure your child has the things he needs. If that means using the system to get the court order enforced then that is what you need to do. If you are truly concerned about the threats he is making, then you should not sit back and continue to be "accommodating", what right does this man have to not only disregard the financial aspect of being a parent but to threaten you on top of it? The answer should be NONE but it seems as if you are enabling him to do both. Don't get me wrong, I know this is not a easy situation to be in but you need to decide who is going to have the control over your life, you or your ex.
2006-07-06 17:14:27 · answer #3 · answered by Smiley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was divorced a long time ago, and I never had a penny in child support (kids 22 and 20). Sometimes it is better to leave it alone and get on with your life. Your ex might even be a threat to your present relationship and you and your child are directly in the line of fire, when this were to get out of hand there's no telling whay will happen . When your ex has acknowledged the child legally he also has a legal obligation.. But leaving this situation together with your new man seems the most sane solution to all of this.... He stole from you and has been charged several times etc..... Save your future and the one of your child and get out of there, because you will be stuck up with this loser for the rest of your life....
2006-07-06 17:31:24 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Alma of Avalon Grailguard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get DCFS to help you. They will make all the contact and make sure it gets paid. And if it don't, they will press charges and send him to jail. You wont be the one pressing charges they will.
But I don't understand why you let him around anyway. You said he was mean to you, don't you think that he will be mean to the child as well? Or that the child will grow up to be just like him if he's around him? I would get a restraining order against him, and keep him away from the child. And just so you know, just because they pay child support, don't mean you have to let them see them. He would have to take you to court for visitation, and even if the judge granted it, there are ways around it if he's a bad influence.
Hope this helps a little! Good Luck!
2006-07-06 17:16:36 · answer #5 · answered by starrynite1958 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no support! Why let him get off easy , it took two to tango.
Since you already have a court order, it means that you had a lawyer so go back to the lawyer and have him deal with all contacts with your ex and you change your number. And since he has been charged with assault it doesn't look good on his behalf. So collect the monies and go away for a nice weekend just you, your child, and your new boyfriend.
2006-07-06 17:40:51 · answer #6 · answered by kristina r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child support is for your son, not you. It is important that you do the best for your child. You are lucky to have a new boyfriend who is supportive of you and apparently supportive of your son as well. You are not responsible for your ex or what he does with his life. However, his relationship with your son will last a lifetime. If you have a court ordered support, then get an attorney or perhaps Legal Aid, and do what you can to get the money for your son.
2006-07-06 17:08:18 · answer #7 · answered by J S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some states if the guy is on Welfare they take the Child Support directly out of his weekly check & send it to the Support Unit then they send it to you.If he doesn't keep a job & quits alot he can go to Prison & then he'll work to pay his child support no joke here in Conn they do that
2006-07-06 17:06:47 · answer #8 · answered by sugarbdp1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would fight for child support, and I would make him follow the visitation guidelines as well. He is playing a game with you and your child. By not being consistent with visitations. Legally if he threatens you with physical harm then charge him for that too.
2006-07-06 17:16:39 · answer #9 · answered by Constance Olivia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He helped bring that child into the world and he needs to be held responsible for that. Do not let his rude behavior stop you from pursing the court order. If he decides to act like a fool and get himself in more trouble then that's on him.
2006-07-06 17:11:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋