how can you be bron gay? seems farfetched?

Question

i am a straight male who is very much in love with my girlfriend.

now, i hear many people in general (not just gays) say they were born how they are, and i get to thinking

how can you be born with a certain personality right a birth? i know i wan't born straight. just like i wasn't born with certain food preferences or a certain mentality about anything.

now don't get me wrong, i'm not at all saying you choose to be straight/gay. i am just saying that it is an unknown reson why people are homosexual or straight.

since scientists have already proven that there is no "gay gene", it can't be genetic.

even some homosexuals say that they have always felt different from childhood. well, that doesn't prove they were gay at birth, just very early in life.

i believe these things are subconciously influenced by some unknown or known factor.

what do you think? and please tell me why, adressing why i am wrong if you disagree in any way.

for the guy who said the thing about the mexicans.....

screw you, i am mexican

please report "Yahoo_guy"

like i said, i think there are unknown/known factors that make a person SUBconciously lean towards a certain gender or both

might i add that you have just as little reason to claim it is true to be born gay/straight as i have to claim you cannot be

i am merely stateing my opinion, not preaching or claiming

also, yes, people can change becasue many people change from straight to gay or vice versa so they obviously weren't born gay/straight

if there was a "gay gene" found, it too would have been all over FOX, news, TV and the media

but i have yet to see that

i cannot stress this further: I AM NOT SAYING YOU CHOOSE TO BE GAY/STRAIGHT

i think its something that gradually and subconciously happens

Answer 1

I don't believe you are born gay. I think like all other things in life you choose to be that way. I believe you experience certain feelings with that person because the opportunity may have never came with the opposite sex, or you chose to be with the same sex. I believe it is a choice, and since it is being pushed on society in our time more people are willing to experiment with the gay life. In my opinion it is wrong and against nature.

Answer 2

Whoa! Science has strong indications that there is a gene difference between Gay and Straight..where did you get that bum steer? And, seriously, was there EVER a time when you decided to be straight? NO, not really. You were straight when you were born, and I am sure you never considered being Gay other than possibly messing around when you were young...many guys do that with cousins, etc....no big deal. Every Gay I have ever known had no decisions to make...they were born with a propensity towards the same sex...no decisions were made, that is just how it is...neither good nor bad, just the lay of the land (so to speak). And there is really nothing subconscience about it. I knew at the age of 5!! that I was attracted to men's bodies...I have no idea why. I had a very strong father, and very good mother, I was NOT a mamma's boy by any means. I was just attracted to men. And NOT turned off by girls/women. IN fact, I went on to marry, have two great sons, and then in one very real moment, went head over heels about a man...lasted 16 years, my ex and I are very good friends to this day, shared raising the kids, etc. Both sons are straight, but on my Father's side, there is a slew of gay cousins. On my mother's side, none.(that I know of, and I am not that stupid.) Genetic...certainly, without a doubt. And, I am the first born, so the newest research does not apply to me. In my not so humble opinion, there is NO straight that can say with any reason, that it is a choice. They have no perspective to reason from. They have no life experience to speak from. They only have hear say and religious nonsense to make a statement. Unless you have been there, there is NO way to state that this is a "decision." Anyone who says that has no idea of what they are speaking. OR...did THEY make a choice to be Straight after experiencing both sides of the fence??????

Answer 3

Some day, people are going to realize that the mojority of the things we argue about are nothing but a crock of pupu. Thing is, Straight and gay are nothing more than indications of a part of what makes us... well... us. Whatis even funnier, is that people who claim to be striahgt or gay are the abberrancies. The truth of the matter is that we are all born pansexual. Anyone, anytime, no preference. It is the people who stray to one side of the spectrum or the other who are the ones that are the freaks of nature. A very wise scientist did a helluva lot of easearch back in the 40's and 50's and proved this beyond a doubt. Even if the conservatives in power did try to make him into nothing more than a jokester. Having come out later in life, I can tell you, I am gay and was born that way. I have always known, but, growing up in an old school, conservative, Irish-Italian, Roman-Catholic family makes you repress things. But it defiantely is something I have always knows. Funny thing is, no one ever guessed it. I still act the same now as I did then, and am just me. It is all about being happy with yourself and with life.

Answer 4

I think your confusion lies in the fact that you take having homosexual attractions and make it equivalent to liking spaghetti. Now, this is obviously only my opinion, but I do not consider them to be the same.

I think you or I liking members of the opposite sex was something that we were born with. I do not think I ever made a conscious decision to like men. I know that ever since I was extremely young, I have always had an attraction towards men (at that time, they were boys, of course). At around the age of five or so, I grew close with a friend who was a girl, and we were very affectionate. Most probably thought we would grow up to be lesbians. But at that point in time, the thought of being a lesbian or being attracted to girls was the farthest thing from my mind. I just saw her as a friend, who I cared for deeply. And I expressed that emotion through affection. But I obviously didn't make a choice that day to not like women or girls. I already knew I didn't find them attractive.

And you may be right. Our being straight or homosexual may have something to do with how we're raised, or our surrounding environment. All I know is that my mom is a lesbian, who has raised me from the time I came to America (I am adopted from South Korea), and I did not end up being a lesbian. That's why I have a hard time believing we are not born this way. The only things my mother had an influence on is my taste in Italian food, my willingness to accept every and any type of person, and my sense of humor.

I hope I didn't come off as being rude, or being mean in any way. If I did, I truly did not mean to do so. And I hope I provided another view point on your issue.

Answer 5

first, your sexuality is not a personality trait. the same way your hair color or gender is not part of your personality. it is just a part of who you are.

i dont know where you got the thing about scientists proving there is not a gay gene. you should post the source for that. I dont believe that is true, otherwise it would have been in every paper and all over tv (especially FOX).

I believe sexuality is a mixture of both genes and environment. no one choses to be straight or gay but some people who are gay are raised in a house/place where it is made very clear that anything other than heterosexuality would not be accepted, so they hide their sexuality. others feel comfortable being open. i also believe it varies in degree. some people are very gay, and so it is harder to dismiss, others aren't so gay and so have no problem living life straight.

Answer 6

My feeling is that we all come in with a sliding scale of sexuality. Who the person is can be a huge influencer. So it's a preference that's hardwired, but with some flexibility for some people. Others are just 100% whatever they are. Not genetic as in genes, but you've known all along you were straight and didn't have to think about it. For a guy who's gay, living in our straight society, it's usually pretty obvious to him around puberty - it he's not from a repressive cultural or familial background.

Answer 7

Well I came out in the fifth grade. As a younger kid I never chased the boys like the other girls. If it's something that happens gradually then when I was 8 or 9 it must have just stopped happening and hit me.

And to top it off science has proven that the brain between a lesbian and a straight female are very different. So logically we are the way we are from the moment or brains are formed.

Answer 8

You weren't born straight?

I dissagree....

I believe you WERE born straight and no "known or unknown subconciously influenced" factor (your words) influenced you to BE straight.

LOL! What kind of pseudo-science are you preaching here?

Dude, we may not have all the answers yet, but you were born the way you are!....and you KNOW TO THE VERY CORE OF YOUR BEING that no force on Earth (known or unknown) can turn you gay. Your sexual preference was "set" from birth.

By the same token, gays were born gay (or every other way between gay and straight - "bi")

IF you feel you can be "turned" gay, then my friend you're not as straight as you claim to be.

Answer 9

There are not many straight people that I would agree with on this subject however, some way or another I kinda agree with some parts of what you are saying....

I don't know what I was born thinking,,, due to not being able to remember that far back. My first homosexual thoughts came from knowing I was attracted to women but not knowing what it was. I knew that I looked at women differently but I didn't know what it was called at the time because I knew nothing of being gay. Didn't know that if I was with a woman I would be labeled a lesbian. So my I "learned" what this behavior was called,,, but I did not "learn to live this lifestyle".

I hate in saying that because I look at me loving a woman as my life,,, not just as my lifestyle.... (If you can understand that)

Answer 10

To say that someone is homosexual at birth is a simplification of a much more complicated issue. We know that genetics play a part in all sorts of preferences, from food choices to behavior patterns. Addiction, for example, as been shown to be linked to genetic factors (which is not the same as saying a specific gene). But we also know that not everyone with these factors ends up an addict. Environment, parenting, and personality play a huge part in determining what eventually becomes of someone.

The issue is muddled by people who proclaim that they knew they were homosexual from a very young age. I'm not saying they're wrong or lying, but that isn't evidence of a purely genetic cause.

Human behavior is a complicated interaction of choice, neurochemistry, hardwired instinct, and genetic influence. To say that any one of these factors is responsible for a trait as fundamental to one's personality as sexuality is naive.

Answer 11

The possibility DOES exist, because genetics aren't the only thing that are a biological influence. Womb environment before birth is a big one that's being looked into.
That having been said, I don't personally know, or frankly care WHY I'm gay. I know I am, and I know I can't change it, and I agree with you that IF we knew that it was 100% environmental (which I personally think nothing is 100 %), it wouldn't change a thing. You can't untoast bread, doesn't mean it came out of the oven as toast.