I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for about 9 months. We both really love each other alot. Since I have been going out with him he has always mentioned how he would like to have about 6 kids. Well he all ready has a daughter named Tara. She's about 1 yrs old. I must admit that he takes good care of her. He buys her things and he also picks her up about 4 days out of the week . Lately he has been bringing up the idea of me geting pregant by him. I'm not ready to have a child right now because I'm in college and I would like to get married and settled down first before I even have kids. I've told him before that i dont want any kids right now and I dont plan on having any unitl about 5 more years down the road. How could I possibly get this threw his head that I dont want kids right now without hurting his feelings!! Someone please help? What would you do in this situaion? Has this ever happened to you?
2006-07-06 16:41:14 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
This gives me a feeling that he is treating u as a breeding machine and he just want to spread his genes.
I think he is not highly-educated, not even college? I hate guys who are a loser and only good in sex. Who is he supposed to raise u and the family in the future? Don't tell me u want to be the bread-earner? No way! Men are supposed to be responsible for the family. Just keep firm of your idea and let him know there is no way for u to get pragnant so early and if he really loveu he have to wait for 5 more yrs. If he cannot, just ignore him and break up with him. U want him to meddle with your dreams huh?
2006-07-06 16:48:55 · answer #1 · answered by a V a 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I became a dad when I was 19 and I don't regret my daughter a bit, but I would not have chosen to become a dad at that time. Buying a child things and picking her up four days a week doesn't necessarily mean he's a good father. It means that he is involved and is at least making an effort to take care of his daughter, however, which is more than can be said for a lot of ppl. I would wait until I finished college or got close to it before I had kids, or at the very least until I was married. Otherwise, he might only be able to take half as much care of your baby and the daughter he already has and take them each two days a week :)
2006-07-06 16:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by dwmajick2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very good that your life is on track and you have every thing planned out. DONT mess it up. Think about it first one child isn't that bad IF you have a job, money to pay a baby sitter while your in school, a roof to put over it's head and all other living expenses. At the same your money is your money. It's not a terrible thing for you to have one child right now. The marriage then would be best cause things could change on down the line. Just tell him that you want the best for the relationship and the child and if yall had one it would change and effect a lot of things. It wouldn't be the best thing right now for a child because of your busy lives.
2006-07-06 17:04:34 · answer #3 · answered by hotandwild85 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a child at 16, he's now 12. I was not married. If I knew then what I know now, I would have done things differently. I was with the father for 2 years prior to conception and only 3 months after birth. This is your to life, not his. Don't let anyone make very important life decisions for you. Wait a few years, see if you really want to marry this man and then talk about having children. You don't want to be a single mother so "young".
2006-07-06 16:50:11 · answer #4 · answered by Heather M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what feel right in your heart of hearts I am currently in your situation and there is no easy answer. I got with my boyfriend 6 months ago and found out I was preg 2 months ago when I asked what he wanted to do he said have an abortion. I could not and I talked to my sis and she is now adopting my child. I would not ever give a child up for just any reason but I have a 15 month old son who has a no good dad when I made the decision to give this child up I knew it was right based on my gut and heart feelings so trust yourself not what everyone else thinks.
2006-07-06 16:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by Xannymama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell hiim you aren't ready. If he doesn't understand then he just wants the children and not you. You tell him firmly that your college education is more important to you than having a child. And he will understand if he loves you and will respect your feelings. If he still doesn't understand start getting the Birth Control Shot. Something you can at least hide and it will help keep you infertile. The pills might be too easy for him to find. But if you have to go to those lengths, you need to get out of the relationship, if he can't respect you then I wouldn't trust him to respect having a family right now.
2006-07-06 16:46:24 · answer #6 · answered by Jacci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he fairly loved you, and needed to have somewhat one with you - you may have gained an engagement ring by using now. yet, he's not fairly waiting. a variety of of folk choose somewhat one, because they see the astounding issues about them the most. the stunning little footwear, the clothing, the smiling, the coos...yet what they fail to understand, is the reality of it. The determining to purchase the charges of wellbeing care, diapers, the stunning clothing. The staying up all evening with a ill toddler or a gassy one. If he changed into fairly waiting to have somewhat one, he may concentration on his existence first. Have a competent pastime with a secure destiny, bypass to school and artwork flat out to get a level. My wager is that he has some variety of psychological issues, probably a strive against with dad and mom. yet in spite of what he's wondering - imagine of your self. If there is not any ring, no homestead, no destiny - then there should be no toddler. because you may be very youthful, with somewhat one, and he has each and every reason to take off if he needs to. merely wait. Take it from a mom who began off as a youngster mom. it really is extra acceptable for all, to attend. Wait till you're previous adequate, mature adequate, financially guard adequate. tell him that you adore him, yet you want to have a baby in a competent existence. After a wedding ceremony, after a occupation has been began. If he loves you, he will understand. If he won't be able to do not ignore that - then he's not all there and also you want to discover somebody else extra emotionally guard.
2016-11-01 08:36:02 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be CAREFUL......
You are right you dont want kids right now and you probably dont want kids witha guy who already has kids, It gets to be a HUGE problem.
Trust me.
STop seeing him , go to college focus on you.
Get a good man with NO kids who will do the honorable thing for you ( and future child) by marrying yu first!!!!
2006-07-06 16:46:11 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You told him once, you told him twice! I would say get on birth control without him knowing. He will eventually figure that you cant conceive or that you guys are just doing it at the wrong time. If you love him stick with it a little longer. if you do not have serious feelings for him let him go.
2006-07-06 16:47:32 · answer #9 · answered by sl62584 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should marry you before you two decide to have kids. I also think you guys should know each other longer than 9 months.
2006-07-06 16:45:27 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋