I am a single mother and one day I caught my son and his girlfriend naked on the bed having sex. It was a real embarrassing moment. And also, I've walked into his room with his door open and caught him masturbating and I walked in the moment he ejaculated. This has just been really awkward and what should I do?
2006-07-06 15:53:30 · 25 answers · asked by Amanda 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I have only caught him one time per act, I've at least told him to keep the door shut. He does not work, he's going to be a senior in high school next year.
2006-07-06 16:00:09 · update #1
As someone who was until about a year ago a seventeen-year-old son myself...
I would wager that he was at least as mortified as you in all these situations.
If the main issue is embarrassment, just ask him to keep his door closed and volunteer to always knock, as it will save both of you future embarrassment.
If you have an issue with him masturbating, I would say that this is very silly. Masturbation is perfectly healthy and not in any way harmful.
If you have an issue with him having sex, I would suggest you have a conversation with him about it (yes, it will be awkward, but it will make you feel better in the long run). Forbidding him from having sex would be a bad idea and probably make him more likely to do it (did so for me). Do make sure that he's aware of what he's doing. Do tell him how important it is to use protection (both against pregnancy and against STDs). Make sure that he is educated.
2006-07-06 22:43:05 · answer #1 · answered by hynkle 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Erections can go away on their own or after ejaculation, the release of semen through the urethra, the small hole at the tip of the penis.
Sometimes guys ejaculate at night while sleeping (these are called nocturnal emissions or wet dreams). Guys may have several erections and arousal periods while in the REM (rapid eye movement) stage of sleep, the type of sleep in which most dreams occur.
What Causes Erections?
Although many erections are caused by sexual arousal, such as watching a sexy television show or fantasizing, many erections seem to happen for no particular reason.
So if you've had an erection in an odd or embarrassing situation - like right in the middle of a really boring history lesson - there's no reason to worry that something is wrong with you. Your body is just acting naturally for a guy your age.
Am I Getting Too Many Erections?
Because each person is so different, it's impossible to say what's a "normal" number of erections. Some guys experience many erections each day, whereas others may not experience any. Hormones fluctuate with age, sexual maturity, level of activity, and even the amount of sleep a guy gets. Unless your erections are causing you discomfort or pain, don't worry about how many you get. If you're concerned, it's a good idea to talk to your doctor. He or she can answer your questions and will probably put your mind at ease.
What Can I Do to Avoid Getting Erections?
Because erections usually aren't controllable, there's not much you can do to avoid getting them. Unless the penis is stimulated enough to ejaculate, time is the only thing that will help them go away.
As your hormones settle down and you advance through puberty, the frequency of unexpected erections and wet dreams should decrease.
2006-07-06 16:37:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for the masturbation incident, I would apologize and then say nothing more about it, after all it's perfectly normal. Maybe get a lock for his door for him. As for the sex incident, that's a little harder to handle and how you choose to handle it depends on your beliefs regarding premarial sex. If your concerns are merely safely/preventing conception, I would offer to buy him condoms and give him the "safe sex" lecture. If you are opposed to premarital sex, then I would take the "not while you live under my roof" approach. After all, he's still a minor and it's still your right to boss him around when it comes to that, or anything else for that matter.
2006-07-06 16:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by pritti_dayzee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I come from a home in which my mom was the mother and father. He's 17 so he's gonna do what he's gonna do, so be VERY supportive and make sure he's being responsible...responsible means: using protection, not sleeping around for kicks, has a job, and pays his own bills (car insurance, cell phone, gas, etc.) at 17 there is no reason for him to have or do none of the above.
2006-07-06 16:02:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, your son needs to learn how to shut the door when he wants privacy. Second, apparently you do not mind the thought of premarital sex, so you also need to give your son his room (literally and figuratively) that he needs at that age. If you feel that awkward about it, as weird as it may be, talk to him about it. Maybe you two can come tt a mutual agreement.
2006-07-06 16:01:17 · answer #5 · answered by kutless1023 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure he is using condoms, cause he is going to have sex no matter what. Tell him if he is going to have sex or masturbate to atleast shut his bedroom door and for you to knock before entering his room. If he does not shut his door, just start talking before you get to his door so he can hear you coming and cover himself up fast.
2006-07-06 16:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to him. Masturbation and sex is a normal human function. Talk to him about being safe with sex since obviously it is too late to say not to do it. Tell him if he is going to masturbate do it with the door closed and locked. As a mother sometimes you will have to have embarrasing talks with your kids. Good Luck!
2006-07-06 15:59:17 · answer #7 · answered by missee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like anything else, you, as a parent, need to set boundries and guidelines. You need to discipline him if he gets out of line. So, maybe setting times when the girlfriend can visit and only when you are present?
As for the solo act....he's a guy. It's going to happen...thousands of more times...day and night. Yes, you should knock before you enter his room.
2006-07-06 15:59:46 · answer #8 · answered by BAM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would he NOT shut the door??? Thats just plain stupid. Knock, and buy him a lock for his door to keep further instances of this event from happening.
2006-07-08 11:21:49 · answer #9 · answered by summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is grown and can make his own decisions chances are he won't listen to anything you have to say anyway. just make sure he uses protection and know the risks of sex as for the masturbating part just leave that completely alone. since it is awkward for you i advise that you don't mention it and act like it never happend.
2006-07-06 16:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by Gangsta Geek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋