females only?

Question

im a 37 y/o male and married. i love crossdressing and masturbating to guy's pictures. i dont know how to tell my wife that i have been secretly wearing her panties.I feel like a woman when i wear them and also am i bi because i like to masturbate to men. i love women so i need some advice. PLEASE

Answer 1

wow,, you need to see Dr. Phil

Answer 2

Just because you cross dress does not make you gay. You just like the way it feels. 90% of cross dressers are straight. It is more of an attention issue then a sexual issue. The masturbating to men could be a sign, but then again there are a lot of straight women that like lesbian porn and straight men who watch gay porn, pornographic imagery is not a way to gauge if you are gay or bi, everyone's mind takes in images differently.
About everything, I feel it would be best to tell your wife, even if you think she will take it badly. It will be best for you and for her in the long run if she excepts it or not. She may be supportive, she may not, but the longer you wait to tell her the harder it will be. You explaining it to her calmly is better then her walking in on you and finding out the wrong way. When you tell her prepare yourself for the worse, and you will most likely find out that it was a weight lifted from your shoulders once you are done.
As for the being bi, you cannot really consider yourself bi or gay unless you have actually explored that feeling with an actual male. It is possible, and totally acceptable if you are, but you may want to discuss that with your wife as well. Maybe explore it in the future.

Answer 3

Your bi. nothing wrong with that. did you feel this way before you met your wife? I've worked retail in the women's lingere dept, n now n then well have man come buy panties for himself (try to make sure you know what size you want first though).
you need to talk to your wife! You can't keep this a secret without it eating you alive from the inside out. Be who you are. As long as you and your wife love each other, you should be alright.
I would suggest that such feeling could lead to suggesting a 2 man 1 woman threeway, but I've had one of those, n to be hoinest, I find it rather 'busy' and less intimate when trying to make sure everyone is happy.

Answer 4

wow, this never came up before marriage ?
I would have a problem since this appears to be late in the relationship.
as for the masturbating. Would you ever cheat on your wife with a real male ? if so yes you are bi
you both will need a counsler I think to get through the trust issue, don't wait both of you are not that old and if you need to start a new life better sooner than later.
I dated a guy who liked to wear sexy teddies but it came up before we even got that far.

Answer 5

call the glbt community center in your city. Lots of people have been dealing with this sort of stuff forever. You can talk with and get info from similar people who understand.

I'd like people to know that being bisexual doesn't mean that you have to have sex with more than one person. Just that the attraction can be there for any one. Bi people have marriages or partnerships just like any one else. When you fall in love, you are in love. when you decide to commit to a person, you are commited.
Masturbation is personal and fantasies don't have to be acted on.

PS I just showed my guy the new underwear I bought and he said it was nice and he'd like to wear it too. It felt strange but I thought it was cool that he said it. I said OK and put it in my drawer. After thinking about it for a few days I got it out and told him he could have it. when he put it on he lay on the bed and I rubbed him and it felt good with the smooth material. I think it really helped me to accept it easier because it was plain black panties(Barely There brand from Mervyn's) and didn't look too feminine. After the second time I realized the exitement we can have together.

My advice for you would be to go very slowly in introducing the idea to your wife. I appreciated that my guy gave me time. I knew that he had dressed in his past so it didn't shock me but I still felt surprised and odd about it. So I can imagine that if it is a completely new concept to her she may have quite a bit of foreign feelings to go through. Don't panic when she is shocked and confused. Try and prepare yourself for this time and be as much of a rock for her as you can. Show her that you are still yourself and still her husband. Help her understand that you intend to continue and honor and treasure the marriage. (If you truly do, if you are not completely sure on that then get some counseling- from some one experienced with working with people dealing with this--ask at the glbt center or hotline)
I think it would be good if you took the aproach that there is something that you are hoping to add to the relationship between you two rather than as if it were a secret life that you had to confess to her. Just know that it is going to be very difficult no matter how accepting or open she might be. The best thing you can do is love her so much that she will feel that she is still special to you. Adore her. Don't make it all about you right away. this time is for her. for the marriage , for your connection with eachother. Once she regains her equalibrium then you can explore together what you might want to do. The wait and your patience will be worth it.

Answer 6

Maybe you should have told your wife BEFORE you got married. At any rate, wearing her panties isn't really a big deal. But getting turned on by looking at other men MAY cause a problem. If you have one of those relationships where you share everything, then go ahead. But sometimes, some things are best left unsaid.

Answer 7

Hi, you should definitely be honest with your wife because she has the right to know and if this is a passion of yours then you should go for it but not with your wife by your side unless she wants to live that life style. Women were suits and boxers and its natural. I think that you may very well be bi because its honestly not right for a man to mastrubate to another man in my opinion.

Answer 8

Nobody knows your wife better then you. You're the only one with a clue as to how she'll take the news. But somehow, you'd better tell her; because if she finds your dress-up FEMALE clothing, she's gonna think you're cheating on her with another woman. And if you want to stay married, ya gotta stay away from the GUYS !

You can't have it both ways.

Answer 9

Well first of, is your wife Homophobic? Or is she open to the way of the gay?
If she is homophobic and you know she would never enjoy seeing two men together, I don't know, tell her the truth, and try to make her see.
If she is open, tell her and ask if she would, over time, be able to join you with another man in bed. And then maybe another women. Try things out!
I don't think that helped.
Best of luck.

Answer 10

suggest you bathe dress and wear your robe over clothes. you and your wife sit in the living room and have a one on one conversation, no TV's noise etc. Discuss topics of the day, her interests in any area she chooses and when conversation turns to sex. tell her than. be nice and masculine when you talk to her but in a loving way. I would forget the other guy thing right now, just keep it a fantasy. tell her how sexy you feel and would love to share your fetish with her. you might be surprised. either way you will know.
good luck.
Sue R

Answer 11

we are all diffrent if thats the way you are then dont be scared of it accept it and if you wife loves you like one should she can accept you for you and you can still have a happy and normal life. personally i see nothing wrong with it crossdressing- why is it okay for girls to dress like guys but not ok for guys to dress like girls. ok so the masturbating is a little weird but if thats your thing then u go for it.