I know the basic answers like family, friends, and religion and all that has helped me. I just want to know if some of the things I feel are normal. My boyfriend of 8 years was killed 7 months ago and every now and then I feel this deep hatred at him for leaving me. Is that normal? I know it wasn't his fault, and of course he didn't want to leave....I don't know why I get mad at him but it makes me feel so guilty. I also can't bring myself to really accept it, I think I'm in denial. I miss him so much and it just hurts to think about it. Will all this pass or do I need to go see a professional and just talk it out with them? Or am I just not grieving properly? I've never experienced death before all this...
2006-07-06 14:54:35 · 7 answers · asked by kj 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It's very normal, actually it's one of the stages of grief. Don't feel guilty. He knows you really don't blame him. :) Time is really the only healer, but if you're in a lot of pain you might want to seek counseling to help get you through. I wish you the best.
2006-07-06 14:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by beadtheway 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are different stages of grief. Anger and guilt are both stages that you will experience. If you feel like this is still affecting you in a way that makes your everyday life difficult, then maybe you should talk to a grief counselor about this. The man that raised me committed suicide and I was the one that found him in the house. I grieved that loss for a long time. But yes, your feelings are normal and time heals all wounds.
2006-07-07 00:01:12 · answer #2 · answered by morbidstar22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you feel, ithink it's quite normal, I lost my mom a year ago, 7 days before she passed on we talked on the phone about her not "leaving" us for her to see my boys grow up ( she was sickly but I never thought she'd be gone at 59). It was so painful, i felt so helpless being the only child so far away from her while she hangs onto her life (she was in a coma for nearly 48hours). Though we used to talk on the phone several times a week and i feel close to her more than i was when i was living with her, i felt angry with myself thinking i could have prolonged her life ( she was healthier when we were living together as she had less stress in her life), had i not left our country in the first place. I also felt that she betrayed me as we talked about her waiting for my children to grow up, silly cause I know it's not up to her! But thinking that she will be with my father, who was killed accidentally by a stray bullet in 1993, make me feel relieved that there are now two angels looking over us, their children and grandchildren!!! I think you should preoccupy yourself with things that take your interest and that should help you veer away from thinking about him too much...and a friend or two to talk and share your feelings with will be a great help!
2006-07-06 23:09:30 · answer #3 · answered by suburbanmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last monday, I lost my sister. She was two/ I deal with it knowing she is up there in the best place ever. I watched over her, now she's watching over me. I'm never going to let her go, seeing as how she never left. As long as you accept the fact that they are not here within your eye sight, they are there within your mind, body. and soul. I know that even if our loved ones could come back here on Earth, they wouldn't, not even if you paid them. They are where they want to be. Not saying they want to be without you, because if they're with you, you're with them. If someone dies, you both physically lose each other, but know that you are never apart.
2006-07-06 22:03:18 · answer #4 · answered by MiSs MuRdEr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I understand loss and yes what your feeling is normal. It is normal to be angry. Where it becomes dangerous is when it continues to long and when it becomes self destructive. If you like contact me and we could "talk" about it. It does help a lot.
2006-07-06 22:04:22 · answer #5 · answered by alanpendragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also lost my loved boy but he did not die i feel that he like my best friend than me but no matter what happen i will always love and protect him forever and ever! I belive that you love him more than anyone but everyone cannot control his/her fate he really
love you but if you keep hating him it could not solve the problem
always keep him in the bottom of your heart no matter what happen he will aways love you.
2006-07-06 22:06:42 · answer #6 · answered by Marie Marystone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i lost my cousin, he was killed...i had the exact same feeling as u...this is ur bf, i know it wont be the same...i ma so sorry for your loss...i dont know if it will pass, mine didnt pass but it wasnt as strong as it used to be...jus tpray sweety...pray hard...i know he still loves u...
2006-07-06 22:04:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋