As an example, should you let your kid sit in jail for a DUI so they learn not to do that or should you always stick up for them right or wrong, Can you still support them even though you choose not to pay their bail? Which way is truly more supportive in the long run?
2006-07-06 14:46:51 · 8 answers · asked by kroe_6 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I don't have children, but thinking the way my parents brought me up, they would have left me for the night, tough love. I was accountable for my own actions as a teenager if I got a speeding ticket it was my problem, when I wrecked my aunt's car I worked 2 jobs all summer to pay for the damage instead of claiming it on my Mom's insurance. Guess what at the age off 33, I love them for that, I have a great life, I earned everything I own.
Now, on the other side of that, I have(had) a friend who anytime he got into trouble his Mom was right there bailing him out, in school and out, everything he did she was there with a checkbook. Guess what, he's been in and out of jail all his life, last i heard he's the biggest crackhead ever, living......you guessed it in his mom's basement.
2006-07-06 14:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tough Love....don't get them out.
I have never heard of one kid as an adult that said "I turned out better for bailing me out"....they all say thanks for being tough. If a child gets a dui...then they are old enough for paying for the costs of fixing the problem. You bail them out and they will do it again because the lesson wasn't hard enough.
Everyone has that moment that they grow up if they are ever going to do it. This might be your kids time. Don't take away the opportunities that they give themselves. Have you ever known someone that has a kid that never straightens out. They get hooked on drugs, kill someone, never get a job, live off of others their entire life. There are lots of losers. Don't let your kid be one of them.
Remember a parent always loves their kid. Love isn't always gentle. Sometimes love is a good swift kick in the butt. And what is worse....time in jail or another DUI after he has caused a car accident that killed some innocent person.
Be tough.....for both of you
2006-07-06 22:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should absolutely let them do their time, pay fines...or whatever other consequences come along. In most cases the first time does not scare a kid too much if they are bailed out by mom or dad. When the second time comes around their is harsher punishment. They may be mad at you for awhile, but they will thank you in the long run. You can support them emotionally but dont let them forget you are dissappointed. Let them know you still love them and care about them and explain to them that they need to face the music because they will be less likely to screw up again if the first time's consequences scare them. i know of way too many people, myself included that kept screwing up because somebody was always there to bail us out. Most of them are still screw-ups.
2006-07-06 21:57:19 · answer #3 · answered by Chris H. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is one of the most difficult decisions a parent faces. I guess mine where drug charges and I wish now that my mom would've left me there. She bailed me out just so I could go right back for the same stuff. A dui might be a little different depending on the extent of his drinking. Have a seriuos talk with him and use your gut. If you think he is remorse then by all means help him out. The best thing to do could be to save your money for the fines and lawyer fees and all that fun stuff. Just talk to your boy and see how he acts. Is he grateful for whatevber you are willing to do or does he just wnat out??
2006-07-06 21:54:03 · answer #4 · answered by Kookie M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want them to learn that jail is not fun, or that Mom and Dad will fix whatever happens so he doesn't need to worry about the consequences?
i think that letting our kids learn from their mistakes is the kindest, most responsible thing we can do as parents. It is also one of the most difficult, but I think that letting them learn these tough lessons while they still have loving parents to help them deal with their lessons is better than having to learn these hard lessons when the folks are gone and the consequences are really huge.
2006-07-06 21:51:44 · answer #5 · answered by Batty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave their butt in jail to think about what they have done! By getting them out you are not teaching them a lesson!
2006-07-06 21:50:58 · answer #6 · answered by trinitarianwiccan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You let them sit in jail until they are released on their own recognisance. I think it teaches him/her a lesson. What would be one good reason to get him/her out, other than relieving your conscience?
2006-07-06 21:57:23 · answer #7 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I feel for you...... personally,,, they need to learn a lesson... how life really is..... helping them .. sometimes lets them think that they can do it again....
When I was a young man,, if I had gotten put in jail... i think my dad would have skinned me alive.... and I knew this..... and I made sure Not to mess up.....
Years later. before Dad passed away,, he told me he really appreciated Not having to come get me out of jail..... it ment a lot to him,,, and to me--- now.......
2006-07-06 21:53:18 · answer #8 · answered by eejonesaux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋