my b/f is controlling, we have been to therapy etc and he has been told he's controlling. he's made me give up so much and change myself to make him happy...which he never is. i've reached a point where i don't know who i am anymore, i feel lost. we had a massive fight and now we have gone backwards, he scared me and now i've changed my outlook on the relationship, i can either leave which will be bad, or i can stay and keep changing and giving up. my b/f acts like nothing is wrong. i need some good advice. i've been with him for 10 years.
2006-07-06 13:09:48 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ten years sounds like it's about nine years and six months too long. He has not changed and will not. He has no reason to do so because you still stick around. Controllers isolate their partners and make them give up the things they love so that the partner will feel lost without the controller. Thus, the partner is deluded into thinking that they cannot survive without the controller. It's a scam. Getting out of this relationship will only allow you to reclaim what you've given up and make a fabulous life for yourself with friends, family, hobbies, and a man who will treat you the way that you deserve. Do yourself a favor and get out this minute. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-07-06 13:19:14 · answer #1 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm only 20 but I can tell you that no man is worth that. Isn't 10 years enough. You want me to tell you why he is like that. He KNOWS you are better then him. In any given second you can get up and leave, you unlike him are string enough to live without him. Despite what he has told you. God(even if your not religious) made women stronger then men. We honestly are superior to them. Look at old people, when the wife dies the man goes days later, but when the husband dies the wife doesn't neccessarilly go at all. A women is made to handle the physical and emotional strains of life. No man could ever withstand the pains of child birth. Your hip is dislocated and thats a fact. Dislocate a mans hip and watch them cry like a B****. If he's controlling and you don't leave as soon as you can he is going to kill you. You may not think its that serious but neither did any of the other women killed by their husband. Run and run far. never never, for no reason go back. They never change, and the older they get the harder it is to reason with them. Get in contact with a government agency that can help you relocate, Give yourself a year and you'll be seeing better days yet. Believe me you can't imagine what a years makes. Remember the exact day you leave and celebrate it every year as a second birth day. Know you shouldn't contact mutual friends and when you call your family don't let them know where you are. Give him enough time to stop looking for you. OH a good idea to move on quick is get a dog, men are like dogs but the dog will love you in ways a man never will. They are faithful to you. and never for what ever reason fell bad for him, everytime you feel like calling him write down something he did to put you down. You'll hate him soon enough.
2006-07-06 20:32:25 · answer #2 · answered by MARIA M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've given way too much already and now need to plan your escape from this controlling relationship.
You don't mention children or shared property, so hopefully the break up won't be too complicated. Don't give in to promises of change. After 10 years, you know what he's really like.
2006-07-06 20:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by Ginger/Virginia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one makes anyone do anything. You chose to do it.
Just the fact that you are asking this question, he is controlling, whether it too much or not.
When a person loves another person, there is NO controlling anyone.
He's a manipulating, sneaky, passive aggressive and he has NO self esteem. He is STEALING yours and that is what is making him falsely believe that he has some. He has NONE.
He's a woose. Let him stand up to a man or a woman that will put his a** right where it belongs. Trust me, he'd go running with is tail between his legs.
Get yourself a REAL MAN
2006-07-06 20:19:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Crazy Girl,
Why would you let anyone change you in the first place. You are you...if he can't accept it...then he is not worth it. Obviously he is very much a control freak and anything you do will NEVER make him happy. Frankly, I think you should move on...find your self again and never ever let anyone change you. I've been there, done that. I got divorced because of it. I love me now and after six years just got re-married and my husband loves me even with all my quirks!!
2006-07-06 20:19:15 · answer #5 · answered by dilynjen67 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you no thats bad but sometimes and many times that happens I dont know your situtation but . Ithink we all should start looking at the hole pitcher we see either materiallistic or vanity things about someone. everything that looks good aint good for you thats like winning the lottery. Dont jus settle if its not for you dont settle as you see years go bye. People will treat you mean and overuling if they know you need them. somepeople like people seem seem to repeat things theyve seen happen in there life. fighting is no good because your never going to forget them. Dont change for no body I tryed that youll be miserable be yourself want people tha want you for you. life is to short to give somebody ten years of your life for them to treat you like crap for five more. when said it would be bad if you left it will get worse if you stay and so will the fights because eventually someones going to take it to far. weather your a 2or10 be measured from the inside.
2006-07-06 20:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by stealth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a shelter for battered women. You need counseling as well. Good luck :)
2006-07-06 20:15:05 · answer #7 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not controlling, but I want my woman to be who she is.
2006-07-06 20:33:09 · answer #8 · answered by TheSkeptic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own ?. Leave or give up
2006-07-06 20:24:13 · answer #9 · answered by 06kihofailed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now that you know what else is there to do beside leave him
2006-07-06 20:19:36 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋