However, I've had this friend who I've known like forever &* he recently told me that he had feelings for me & that he wanted to be with me in that way. I mean I wanna be with him too, but I'm kinda scared of how it's gonna turn out, & if it'll hurt a lot or not. I just need to know if I'm makin a mistake or not-cuz I don't feel like I am, but I could be! Please give me some advice!
2006-07-06 13:07:20 · 22 answers · asked by Blondie 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Well, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. There is nothing wrong with waiting. If you're having doubts, that's a good thing---too many people will tell you to go for it, however sex can break up the friendship, lead to more promisquity, cause STD's, HIV and PREGNANCY!
2006-07-06 13:15:31 · answer #1 · answered by royal_crown78 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You say that as if its a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. If you are thinking about venturing into the world of the sexually active then be prepared to have a frank discussion with the person you are thinking of having sex with. Mainly practicing safer sex, i.e. condoms. Your life is your responsibility not his and it is up to you to hold him to a standard the first time and every time. Do not allow yourself to be talked out of having protected sex. Some men are notorious for talking women out of using condoms with tired excuses like "it breaks the mood", "it stop some of the feelings", "I am safe, i don't have any STDs", "You are the only one I want to be with".
Also go to your doctor and get on the pill (birth control). Be mindful that birth control does not protect you from STDs (sexual transmitted diseases), HIV, Herpes, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis etc. these and other stds can affect you long term and also your ability to have children. So if you are going to have sex, please have it responsibly. Birth control is to aid in the prevention of unwanted pregnancies. This is your body, you are the master, you say what goes, when it goes, how it goes, why it goes.
As to how it will feel, well everybody is different. It can be good the first time, if the two people involve take their time and be sure they are ready. I would suggest you wait, if this person is really interested in you and care about you then they will wait, they may not like it, they may not be happy but they will respect you and your wishes and wait anyway. There is no earthly reason you should rush into a sexual relationship, this is a time for you to figuring out what it is you want out of life, where you want to go, what kind of life you want to life and what things, activities, education it would take to accomplish those things.
Men like the earth they are always there and in abundance, they are a fundamental part of life, they will not fall off the earth or suddenly disappear because you decide to wait until you are older, more settled and sure about you, your mind and direction.
2006-07-06 13:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by Virtuous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the merely excellent advice i'd furnish you with is to in ordinary words wait till she is eighteen. even if you adult men plan on doing issues, it may nevertheless be frowned upon and human beings may nevertheless be adversarial to it. If a courting between you 2 fairly have ability, you does not ideas waiting till she's 18. astonishing out and persevering with to be acquaintances and all is high quality yet being reputable may be somewhat weird and wonderful for anybody else. merely to be on the secure area, wait till she's legal. If she fairly is mature, then she ought to do not ignore that issues should be very demanding to maintain and that you'll get into difficulty. no count number number how different you're from another guy or you real intentions for courting her, that is merely excellent in case you in ordinary words wait. it really is one 365 days, no vast deal. in case you're taking care of her and if she cares for you that a lot, waiting yet another 365 days should not be difficult.
2016-11-01 08:21:13 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you in a romantic relationship with this person? I think the answer is no.
Look, I'm all for sleeping with random people and muddying emotional waters with friend sex, but that's not something you need to do for your first time. The first time you have sex it should be with someone you are in a relationship with who you really care about. Sex does create a pretty strong emotional bond, especially the first time, and you don't want to be in a situation where he gets what he wants and goes back to being "just friends" while you wish for something more.
If I were you, I would wait until I was in a romantic relationship before having sex.
2006-07-06 13:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by cay_damay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look I'm 22 and I'm a virgen too, I think that the only reason for making love to someone is because you love him, the thing is that your not sure and thats not a good sign.. you know what I mean... also on your first time you have to be with somebody that really cares about you because normally the first time hurts and the pain depends on how carefully is your partner... My advice is dont do it until your really sure and you know your not going to rergreat it... and dont forget the love... ;)
2006-07-06 13:40:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are a little unsure. I think that you should wait. It needs to be with someone that you are in a long term relationship with, not just a "friend". Think about what could happen if you do have sex, (unwanted pregnancy or a ruined friendship). Wait and in the long run you will be glad you did.
2006-07-06 13:18:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your 17 and your ag is ready i think like physically you are ready but emotionally is where you look a little upset. Well i have some experience with this someone told me that he wanted to hookup with me so when i went over his house i was nervous and told him no because i thought it through so much...dont think about it im telling you seriously dont think about it IT WILL HURT AT FIRST, but than it feels good. If you feel comfortable you can try it with a banana, or try fingering yourself and see if it pleasures you but make sure your hands are clean and he banana is clean also. I think that if you like him & he likes you you should do it because it is a way of showing affection but if you have doubts about him dont do it. because than it will end up in a mess believe me i know...masturbate regulary so you get a feel dor it and see if you like it. try to pump up you sex drive alot more so it will help you
2006-07-06 13:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Strong physical attraction does not translate into true love at all. Wait, play around if you want but don't go head first until your heart says "that's the guy I want to pop the cherry with". Maybe he won't be the guy to live with you the fairy tale ending but at least you have the warm feeling and not a "that's it?... just in and out" thought racing in your mind. In other words, take your time
2006-07-06 13:22:32 · answer #8 · answered by btiger75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please don't rush into having sex, you've done a great job up til now. It doesn't matter how long u have known him, don't feel pressured, its your body and u will know when ur ready, i waited til i was 23 and i was with my sweetie for a year b4 we did it. and we r still 2gether now for 8yrs. plus some guyz will tell u anything just to be the first one. so be strong and wait for someone u truly love and who loves u. and best of luck. p.s. ur 1st time will not be painful, just a little uncomfortable, maybe. good luck.
2006-07-06 13:38:22 · answer #9 · answered by lilsexysoph 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me that he has asked you for sex already.. well, sex for first timers hurt. its the truth..
bout the mistake part. well, if u were to ask adults, like your school teacher, parents, advisors, they'll tell you to wait til 18, 21 or until you're married.. im also 17 and i had sex. but i didnt regret it. i gave my first to my bf, and now we're still loving and our relationship is strong..
if u truly love that guy, think whether he is the one u wanna spend the rest of your live with.. and is he true to you? or does he just want your first time..? how is his previous records? is he a flirt? is he a virgin? dont ask him all this, he might probably just lie to you..
there's a myth, i dont know whther its true or not, but when 2 virgins have sex for the first time with deep feelings for each other, they'll have a long lasting relationship.. maybe its cuz they cherish their special night together.. i dont know..
since u dont feel like u're making a mistake, there's not point asking for advice... cuz since u're already thinking this way, what we say may not get to you.. but girl, u've gotta love that guy.. and that guy have to love you like hell. u're 17, u're old enough to think for yourself.
2006-07-06 22:53:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you meet someone that you Love or are married too..Your First time should be special not with someone who really doesnt mean anything to you...If he cares about you he'll stick around....Youve waited this long you have the rest of your life for sex!
2006-07-06 13:16:01 · answer #11 · answered by roxie_29812 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋