What do you think?

Question

About my husband that comes home & asks "So,did you do anything productive today?" I am a stay-at-home mom with a 6 month old baby that I breast-feed. Usually I load the dishwasher every day & do laundry once a week, & fix a good healthy homemade supper every night. The rest of the house is somewhat messy, but I am so busy with the baby. Please tell me what you think & if you stay home with your kids. Thanks!

Answer 1

I am right with you, it can be so hard to keep house while you have a young baby. I have 3, ages 1mo, 2 and 3 years, and it is amazing I ever get anything done. Sometimes it feels like the baby nurses all day long and I do nothing but sit on the couch and only get up to go to the bathroom!

When your husband comes home and asks that, refrain from giving him a good swift kick to the groin, and tell him yes, you spent the day nurturing your baby. :-)

Maybe one day when he is off of work you can let him have a turn with the baby. Stay in the house but be as hands-off as possible. You can make some meals to freeze or something so you have something to do, and that will save you the trouble of cooking later. Then your husband might realize that it can be difficult to juggle the baby and all those household tasks as well.

Also, check out motivatedmoms.com. They have a Yahoo group, too. It is great for stay at home OR working moms. It gives you a couple simple tasks a day and isn't very intimidating, unlike other programs like Flylady.

Answer 2

God, don't you hate that? It's sooo annoying. My husband doesn't say that, in those words. Sometimes, though, he'll tell me that I do nothing all day. EXCUSE ME? I too, am a stay at home mom of a soon to be 4 month old that I breastfeed, and I'm sorry, but these babies require attention, and a LOT of it. 98% of the time, I have the dishes washed, food cooked, laundry done, as well.
I just want to kick his butt when he says that. Especially when the baby has been screaming most of the day with teething pain and I have a major headache. He'll come home and sit right on the computer for hours. Ugh. Men.

Answer 3

Tell him if he would like to stay home for a day with your baby without you and have to do half the things you do, he's entitled to!
At 6 months old you are still running around like a chicken with it's head cut off!
I know it's hard when the house is messy, i'm lucky I have a husband who really likes to clean house! And when he's cleaning i enjoy helping, not cleaning by myself!
Once you get into a good routine with the little one, things will start to ease up and you will have more time to worry about your 'messy' house! For now, just do what you can, and maybe try to do one thing during the day. Like tidy the living room, or bathrooms. Make one goal a day. You don't have to, just a thought!
Good Luck!

Answer 4

That's an awful lot more than I usually got done with a young baby in the house!! If he asks, "So,did you do anything productive today?" tell him, "Yes, I grew a baby!!" What could *possibly* be more productive than that?!

But...something that could help is to ask him this: If you could do *one* thing during the day that would make him feel more comfortable at home, what would it be? Maybe he'd prefer that you pick up the baby's toys from the living room floor and let *him* make dinner instead. Or maybe he wants the bathroom counter to be bright and shiny. While you think that a hot dinner is the one thing that is the most important, maybe he has a different priority...the only way to know is to *ask*!

Answer 5

My midwife warned my husband never to ask me what I did with my day. Its OK to ask how your day was, but not what did I do and certainly not did I do anything productive. I remember when my daughter was a newborn and everyday was so busy and full, but if I tried to come up with what I did all day I would always draw a blank. The truth is that you are being very productive every day, you are taking care of a new life that is totally dependent on you. That is a very hard job and your baby is benefiting from your attention, your love, and certainly from your breastmilk. Keep up the good work and tell your husband all the wonderful things you and your baby did during the day.

Answer 6

I hear you sister...!!!! I had the same problem , I had my baby and my very demanding 3yr old stepson at home and my husband would complain about the house, I started cleaning up more but would end up exhausted every night and of course our sex life went down, now I'm pregnant with my second child and I have my 16 mo. old baby and my almost 5 yo. stepson, I manage to clean my hose a little bit more but I told him, being a stay at home mommy is a 24/7 job, not like his, only 8 hrs. and just told him not to expect too much from me from now on because being pregnant and having already 2 small children is pretty hard, he understands better now but it was hard at the beggining, they say that because they don't understand what is to deal with a household and a baby, talk to him and let him know you won't put out with his demands, when he asks you that, say, Well, I breastfed your baby about 5 or 6 tmes today, I bathed your baby and changed his diapers another 4 or 5 times, then I even had time to do the dishes, but what worked best for me was to leave for a weekend to visit my family, he was going crazy at the end of my abscence and totally got it when I came back.

Answer 7

I'm a stay at home mom with 2 kids and 4 month old. I clean this house every day,but sometimes youcan't tell it. My husband knows that i have my hands full with the kids.

Answer 8

Try this, don't do all all those things you talked about for one day. So when he comes home and asks why the house is so messy and dinner isn't made, say "You know when you come home and ask what I did today? Well today I didn't do them." Hopefully he will get the point. And if he still ask when he comes home say "I raised our daughter today" and that's the most important thing.

Answer 9

im a stay at home mom and my man does the same thing. as soon as he walks through the dorr he says what have you done all day and well i blow up and i say to him "you try doing everything i do all day and dont even get a chance to look out the window to see the outside world, you would go nuts" and then he usually shuts his face. i dont have babies anymore but i have 4 kids and i homeschool them all and 2 of them have major learning disabilities. my advice to you is to let him try it just one day while he is off work and when its time to feed the baby make him sit right there with you until feedin is over and let him see just what you go through all the time. he wont be able to do it.

Answer 10

Being a mother is a full-time job, so don't worry about all that small, silly stuff like housework. It will always be there, but your baby won't be small forever. I work a job and have 2 kids, and take care of the house, my husband doesn't even realize all I do. That commercial about "invisible mom's" is soooo true!!! Good Luck!!! :)