I'm friends with the couple (known her longer than him). Regardless, I can't stand back and bear to see her hook up with other guys. I've known her longer than I've known him, but I'm not sure how much bearing that should have. What would be a tactful way of going about this IF I should say something?
2006-07-06 12:16:18 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a hard one. I think I would confront her first. Tell her what she is doing is wrong, and tell her it hurts you, as a friend, to see it. Then I would explain to her that as a friend she is putting you in a terrible situation. If she doesn't get either of these things, or she gives you grief... put as much distance between you and this couple as possible. You don't want to be the one that gets in the middle, and if you back away from their "friendship" you can keep yourself protected.
First and foremost... this is not your problem... this is not your partner... Don't be the one to tell the secret. However, if he comes to you and says he has his suspicions... then that would be the time to say... "Yes, I've heard that too. Get a private detective and catch her before the wedding."
Good luck, buddy... Tough situation
2006-07-06 12:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by lester 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe the second one poster... he positive doesnt sound like the 'best guy ever' he sounds like a dishonest mendacity creep. do not marry him he's clearly a procedures too youthful and immature.. i become in this precisely same position even as i become 18... my ex become 19... he cheated on me.. slept with another female (we would not even slept mutually yet so his first time become with somebody else). I stupidly forgave him believing all his delivers that he has realized his lesson, he will replace, he loves me bla bla bla... did he replace? No. How lengthy did it take me to comprehend he doesn't replace? 4 years. 4 years of being cheated on, breaking apart, arguments, jealousy, distrust, low self-worth and self belief earlier i ultimately placed my foot down and walked away and it felt like a weight were lifted off my shoulders. Any healthful lasting courting must be outfitted on believe... and respect. And it doesnt count what percentage situations a guy tells you they love you, and cry and beg.. it doesnt count in the adventure that they not in any respect say it in any respect.. what counts is how they teach you they love you. From what you've stated this guy and your 'pal' do not have respect for you, and that i visit allow you to already know at present he's not the 'best guy ever' and also you may want to accomplish that a lot extra acceptable and discover someone who extremely merits you and could cope with you accurate. You dont want to spend years feeling paranoid, jealous and insecure it isn't nicely worth it. your own happiness comes first, then someone elses. i'm not declaring any of this to be propose or disillusioned you I in simple terms want you to really imagine about the area and do what you sense is sweet. i am hoping it truly works out for you, good success :)
2016-10-14 04:52:39 · answer #2 · answered by curella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to tell him with out her being there, of course he will deny this, so you should try to catch her in the act by investigating not stalking her by taking pictures from a distance make sure you can make her face out or video tape her and then show him. It's ok to be a little detective. Look I would rather hear it from my friends that let someone give me a disease. I am divorced and my spouse cheated on me and I had to investigate after hearing strangers telling me stuff. Luckly, I don't have a disease.
2006-07-06 12:25:17 · answer #3 · answered by southerngirlz27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two problems.
(1) You cannot be a friend if you know someone is cheating and you say nothing. You may be a chicken-**** but defiantly not a friend.
(2) You have a poor choice in friends (her), people who cheat on their spouses should not be called friends. Shows a complete lack of character.
2006-07-06 12:27:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK i have the same type of problem with a friend going on right now. basically you can say something if you know that your friend trust you enough to take your word for what it is............the truth ,however if your friend is the type that is going to believe what their fiance says regardless of what you have told him then hell no do not tell him anything.......show him believe none of what you hear and half of what you see
2006-07-06 12:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by symplyhot_npink 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL THAT IS NOT AN EASY POSITION TO BE IN.
HOW DO Y OU KNOW SHE IS CHEATING? DOES SHE KNOW THAT YOU KNOW?
IF SHE DOES, SHE DOES NOT CARE IF YOU RESPECT HR OR NOT
MAYBE YOU COULD TELL HER BOYFRIEND ABOUT A ANOTHER FRIEND WHO HAS A GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE CHEATING AND SEE HOW HE REACTS, AND ASK HIM, "WOULD YOU WANT TO BE TOLD, IF IT WERE YOU>>
AND IF HE SAYS YES, THEN BREAK THE NEWS TO HIM, LETTTING HIM KNOW HOW MUCH ANGUISH YOU ARE GOIING THRU AND DO NOT WANT
TO HURT ANYONE, BUT YOU WOULD
WANT TO BE TOLD IF IT WERE HAPPENING TO YOU.
IF YOU KNOW THIS FOR A FACT, HAVE SOME SPECIFICS,BE PEPAIRED TO TELL WHAT YOU KNOW OTHERWISE SAY NOTHING
GOOD LUCK
2006-07-06 13:38:56 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you should tell. Actually I would tell her first and give her a chance to tell her fiance before you do. If she doesnt, then you have an obligation as his friend to tell him before he marries her and the cheating continues. Wouldnt you want someone to tell you if you were being cheated on??
2006-07-06 12:23:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes no doubt about it.. he'll be hurt and sad but you should still say it. If that person can't be loyal before they get married there is no way on earth that person will be loyal afterward and if they are they are going to be wishing that they weren't. It just isn't meant to be.
2006-07-06 12:38:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations. You're in a tough spot. Things could go awry and the whole thing could blow up in your face, costing you both their friendships. If you feel you must step in, confront HER, not him. Ask her to search within herself about what she's doing, and do the right thing. Make it her decision, not yours.
2006-07-06 15:10:10 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW PEOPLE ARE PROBABLY SAYING THE YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR BUSINESS, BUT YOU GOTTA PUT YOURSELF IN HIS SHOES. AND YEAH THE GIRL IS FRIEND SHE'S GOING TO BE MAD BUT SO WHAT. YOU HAVE TO PUT AN END TO THIS BEFORE THEY GET MARRIED. IT GONNA HURT HIM WORSE IF HE FINDS OUT LATER.. WOULDN'T YOU WANT SOMEONE TO TELL U BEFORE U MADE THE MISTAKE OF MARRING THIS WOMAN AND HAVING KIDS GETTING THEM INVOLVED!
2006-07-06 12:34:31 · answer #10 · answered by cherbis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋