2006-07-06 11:56:57 · 22 answers · asked by atatay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To those of you requesting details here goes. I'm 26 he's 24 we've been together for 4 and 1/2 years. we live together. I have a daughter, he has no kids of his own. we make a decent income and we love each other.My honest to God truth I have never had doubts and neither has he. To be fair at least he has never showed or said anything.
2006-07-06 18:06:45 · update #1
Go ahead and tie the knot if you really like the guy and are sure of his l0ve for you. You dont need your friends to make important decisions for you, when you stillo have the ability to make them.
The friends who discourage you may be the ones who are having difficult times in their marriages. That doesnt mean you too will follow path.
However here are a few principles for you to keep your marriage in good shape:
Principle 1
Enhance your love map
Develop a sense of the other’s joys, likes, dislikes, fears and stresses
Plenty of cognitive room for marriage
Better prepared to cope with the stressful events and conflict
Principle 2
Nurture your fondness and admiration
Reminding yourself of your spouses positive qualities
Antidotes for contempt
Prevents the four horsemen
Principle 3
Turn toward each other instead of away
Correct distorted notions of what fuels romance
Put effort into to staying connected
Respond to bids for partner’s attention, affection, humor or support.
Principle 4
Let Your Partner Influence You
Yield to win
Search for common ground instead of insisting on your way
Share power
Compromise
Principle 5
Solve Solvable Problems
Soften your start up
Make repair attempts
Soothe self and other
Compromise
Be tolerant of faults
Principle 6
Overcoming Gridlock
The goal in ending gridlock is not to solve the problem but rather to move from gridlock to dialogue about deep dreams.
Principle 7
Create shared meaning
Rituals
Roles
Goals
In summary, a couple has to actively cultivate an atmosphere of positivism and support while using conflict resolution and repair attempts to keep resentment out of the relationship.
Where to Get Help
Many people often need the boost of professional help to get the many aspects of their concern sorted through and resolved.
I offer individual and couple counseling services with a specialization in sex and couple therapy.
For referrals to a sex & marital therapist in your area, contact www.aasect.org
2006-07-15 04:34:15 · answer #1 · answered by dark and beautiful 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really love the person your getting married to? If you can answer yes, then get married. I got married when I was 16, my husband was 20 and alot of people told us it was a mistake, but they were wrong. We have been married for 5 1/2 years, have 2 kids, and are very, very, very happy!!!
2006-07-06 19:56:07 · answer #2 · answered by princess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I have to ask is how old are you? Depending on how old you are, then I can understand why people are saying not to get married. if you are in your early twenties, I would say hold off till atleast 24-25. It also depends on your maturity status and how long you been with this guy/girl too. if your highly mature, not into the who bar scence, and not into partying and so on, You both have careers in high gear (going really good physially and financiall), have the stability, and lastly are truely madly, deeply in love with each other then do it.
2006-07-06 19:09:41 · answer #3 · answered by lil_e_4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really depends on you & your soon to be hubby. My hubby & I were both 20 when we got married. People told us not to get married, but we did. We had no idea what marriage was really like (Be prepared for a rough road ahead.) Luckily for me, we were & still are very much "in love". You should talk to your fiancee. Make sure you are both completely commited to making this marriage work. Then go with your gut, but remember you will have to live with whatever decision you make.
2006-07-06 20:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
50% of marriages work, and i'd say 80% of that 50% are loveless marraiges.
Marriage is just a peice of paper, if u need that peice of paper to be together than do it, if u dont need a peice of paper to be together than dont do it. the relationship will fail or make it regardless of the white dress, over priced tasteless cake, huge bar bill, bridesmaids attacking each other, the best man screwing ur mate at the reception hall and marraige certificate.
2006-07-06 19:03:33 · answer #5 · answered by Aussieblonde -bundy'd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If ur in your twenties, especially early twenties, wait for a few years. People's expectations, personalities and needs change sooooooooooo much in the years betweeen 20 and 30 that it's a good idea. If u guys are still running strong then, go for it!!!!!
2006-07-06 19:06:28 · answer #6 · answered by stillatello 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray, pray, pray, and pray. Make sure you ask God to lead you in the right direction. Sometimes He will place people around you for a reason. Ask Him to open your heart and your ears to hear what He would have you to do. You can't go wrong with God. Hope everything works out.
:),
Jai
2006-07-06 19:06:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't do it I just got screwed over for the second time. It is OK to live together forever. It is only a piece of paper, you will learn that the hard way like I did.
2006-07-06 19:04:59 · answer #8 · answered by matteo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you do what your heart tells you too. Why are they saying not to? Because they aren't happy? Doesn't mean you have to be miserable too. Every marriage is different. Just follow your heart and everything will work out. Tell them to stop giving you bad advice.
2006-07-06 18:59:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are not giving enough information for anyone to give proper advise. How old are you? Does he have any children? How about money? What is YOUR finantial situation. How long have you been dating?
Ask again, please. I smell something foul that you may be hidding. Marriage is serious business, so ask again and give the information requested.
Thanks.
Mr. M on marriage.
2006-07-06 19:05:14 · answer #10 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋