Men, Ladies Help!!!! When do you give your man the option to either marry me or move on?

Question

I am 22 and my bfriend is 24, we have been together for 8 yrs (high school sweet hearts) and he claims that he wants to marry me, well what is the deal guys out there? And women What do you think i shoyuld do? should i give up on the man that i love or should i sit here waiting around for him to pop the ? remember yall, we've been together for eight yrs and no ? or no ring . Men tell me, what is going through this mans mind?

instead of wAiting for his proposal, should i propose to him?

Answer 1

I think that when you give him the ultimatum, you lost. Same thing for him to you. It must be what you both think and what you both dream about, otherwise somewhere down the road, the pressure will release, and someone will be pissed.

Answer 2

Before you get married you should make sure you're both prepared. Are you stable financially, in career type jobs, emotionally ready to move in and become a family? No to any one of those questions may be the reason he hasn't asked. If both of you have got your acts together and he still isn't asking then you can worry. Giving an ultimatum is not the way to start a healthy marriage. If you don't think he can give you the type of relationship you want in the long run you'll have to start looking elsewhere.

Answer 3

you both are still young and being together for that long he may feel like he missed out on a lot of things. But the truth is he didn't. He may realize this too late and you'll be gone. He knows that you want marriage, but he doesn't. If I were you I would start working on whatever makes you happy. Remember you don't need a man to do that. If he comes around later and you still love him, great, if not there are so many men out there I know you can find one who will give you what you need. Good luck

Answer 4

So what your going to throw away 8ys cause the man that you "LOVE" won't propose. give me a break

So if your married then what, does it make you love him more or will it change anything besides your last name? Come on marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper stating you get half in the event of a divorce.

marriage may be nice but is sure not necassary. Don't be dumb and throw 8yrs away because he is not marring you.

But i would tell him if you don't want to get married right now at least give me somekinda ring (diamond). I got mine and im not married. Its all about the diamonds!

Answer 5

I was in a similar situation. Dating 6 years and living together. Just the talk of marriage freaked him out, he could not even hypothetically bring it up. He surprised me and proposed out of nowhere.

I don't beleive in ultimadums though. If you have to threten him to marry you or you leave thats not very romantic is it? And if something is holding him back and you force him with an ulitamum it could ruin your marriage...if he has not worked his fears out.

I think you should discuss it. See where he stands, but do not give him an ultimadum just move on. And if he does come back and propose make sure his heart is in it. Marriage is such a HUGE committment, you don't want to force someone to make it.

Answer 6

You're still very young, and have so much yet to experience. My first opinion is to see other people so you can find out what other people are like in relationships and see if you guys really are the best match for each other.

An ultimatum won't work; a person is supposed to propose to their loved one when they feel ready to take the relationship to the level of a legal commitment. If he's not really feeling ready for that at this early stage in life, but proposes anyway out of fear of losing you, then he will resent it, and it will backfire on you in the long run.

If you believe that he REALLY is the one and ONLY one for you, then go ahead and propose!! This is 2006, so you don't have to wait for him to open his mouth. That way you've expressed that you feel absolute faith in your future together, and will allow him to express his own position on "forsaking all others, 'til death do us part."

Answer 7

Your both still young. He's getting the milk for free so why buy it? My husband says and I agree if he's not wanting to marry you why should you be living together? Where is the respect for each other? Maybe it's time to move on.. You both need to talk this out and find out if your on the right page.

Answer 8

i wish i knew. i have the same exact problem with my man right now, and i am glad to know that i am not the only one out there. i want him to ask me to marry him, but then i thought about it. maybe he just isnt ready. just b/c you have been with someone for so long doesnt mean that they are any more ready to pop the question than others(although it would seem that way). the best advice i can give to you is to talk to him about it. sit him down and tell him how you feel . you have been together for 8 years and that you are ready to be more than just a girlfriend, but a wife, a companion, and his soulmate. best of luck

Answer 9

Don't give him that ultimatum...

Guys don't like to be put in situations like that...
If you aren't happy just being with him, then talk to him and see what his perspective is....

That's the only way you will know whats going on...

Answer 10

8 years is all you should be concerned about.
Its been 8 years and you both are still together ~!
That says so much , by itself ~!

Will that piece of paper really make a difference??

I myself ,
want my man to come home ,
Because he wants to ~!

Not because of a piece of paper saying he has to ~!

~*~*~*~*~*~Peace.