Mother and I?

Question

My mother and I decided that we would move in together so we could fiancially help each other out of debt. Since i have moved in EVERYTHING with my fiances has went downhill. Now that is stressful. It is taking me some time to get back together and i am working very hard to do so.
In the meantime, my social/sex life stinks. I cant do like I used to when i lived alone, first i dont want her in my business like that and then it just a respect that has to be in place, after all she is my mother. Now when i go out , it is usually during the week and i wait until it is about 11ish because i want to put the kids to bed and settled. I rarely date on weekends, now i will NOT return before ''daybreak'' but i do in the early morning. Either i leave in work clothes and tell my kids that mommy is working the nights or i come home with WAL_MART bags.

She has a problem with this. How can i approach the fiancial issue and me wanting to move out and the issue of dating and going out.

Answer 1

Well... u should talk with her face 2 face and honestly! She have to understand that u have ur own needs and that u need ur own privacy. U are not a little girl anymore, and she must understand that. If u are a good doughter, u must talk to her devout and tell her what's in ur hart, and if she is a good mother, she must understand that!
With courage, u will do it!
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

It sounds like you are very unhappy with this living arrangement.
You say this is for financial support on both sides but for some reason, you seem to have less, now that you are living with her. I read between the lines that this home belongs to your mother. I'm guessing that when you leave at night, even though your kids are in bed and have been lied to about where you are actually going, she is left in charge in case anything is needed by the kids. Say, they get sick for instance. Do you pay your mom for childcare at childcare rates, or is she your "free" babysitter? If she owns the home and is watching your kids for free, I'm guessing that her finances have gotten worse as well. She would do much better allowing a couple or single person without children to live there and charging them a monthly rent/utilities fee. All groceries to be purchased by a mutual fund set aside for that purpose by all parties and a rotating shopping schedule.

You would be much happier in a place of your own where you could come and go as you please and you didn't have to respect anyone's feelings but your own. You probably would be much happier, too, if you put your kids up for adoption. Then you wouldn't have to lie to them or worry about leaving them at night so you can have a social life. This would, also, free up some money for having to care for and feed them. Also, until you can get on your feet, you need to quit spending money on a social life and at walmart and put that money toward getting your own place.