what do i need to do??

Question

my husband of 10 months does not pay attention to me anymore. he is going to school full time and working on the weekends. i understand that he is busy and stressed with school. i have asked him multiple times to spend just a couple of hours devoted completely to me and he has not done it. he used to make me feel important and now i feel as if he just doesn't care anymore. i also feel that he is ashamed of me because he will not include me in anything he does with his school friends. he carpools to school with 2 females and 1 male...and then studies after school with one of the females. it makes me nervous because they talk on the phone and spend time alone together studying, but he has no time for me. i asked him about it and he says that he is not "cheating." he may not be cheating sexually, but he is cheating me out of our marriage. i just want him to make me feel like i am as important as everything else he does. i want to be part of his life again.

just fyi: i urge him to go to school. i want nothing more than for him to finish. i also work 40 hrs a week and am at work some evenings and nights. i have said all of this to him. i have told him how i feel, and his excuse is that he is stressed.

Answer 1

help him study... go with him when he goes out, or else get your own life and stop waiting for him to pay you attention. Maybe then he'll get the hint once you're not around all the time to beg him for his attention. Goodluck. :)

Answer 2

I know all too well about not spending enough time with a new husband. The one thing I can tell you is make the most out of the time you do have together. Even if it is 5 or 10 minutes before he has to go to class. Make those the best 5 or 10 mins. of your day. Remember he will not always be in school and there is nothing wrong with him having friends. But he does need to realize that you miss him and need him too. Send him little gifts or notes in his book bag, just to let him know that you are thinking of him. You might also find something to fill your time, you know, a hobby, new friends, whatever. Don't dwell on being lonely, be patient, you have your whole life to spend with this man, don't give up after only a few months.

Answer 3

Girl Don't worry about him! Go to the gym or get your hair highlighted. Start making yourself happy and you will get so much attention from guys and then things will turn around. Once you start turning a few heads he will then turn to you too! Like the saying: If he loves you he will stay If he don't he will go. If you love him let him go if he comes back he is yours if he doesn't he never was. Look on the bright side Everything happens for a reason. If it's Okay for him to have a friend of the opposite then you should to the same. But just Friends. Get your mind of of him and get busy . Go take a kick box class That way If he is cheating you can kick both of their butts!

Answer 4

He may be attracted to this girl but then again maybe not.

See if there's anyway you can befriend her some how so she knows not to go there. Make yourself be known. ****! Your married to him. Does he wear the ring? If he wears your ring then it should be ok.

All you can do is talk to him. Don't nag. Tell him how you've been feeling because he probably doesn't even notice. Let him know that you know he's not cheating but that you want some attention too. You need to get what you feel you need because it will chase you later on down the road.

I'll tell you one thing school is stressful.

Answer 5

I don't think he isn't pay attention to you. But the school and work could cause stress and the stress cause the sex drive to lower a great deal of the time. I do think he fills that your important to him or he wouldn't be going to school to improve your both life together. But you might be able to help and go to work.
But you could find a nother girl to help you in the bedroom, because most guys love two females and a guy will do anything if he knows that two females are waiting in his bed. Try different thing.

Answer 6

Can you imagine what would happen if you took your life in your own hands? Take responsibility for yourself having a good life. Waiting for a guy is not very good. Let him see that you can manage. Call your friends and/or family, go see them. Be less devoted to him for a while. Come home later than him. Leave before he does. Go to the library, swimming whatever. Do something fun and meaningful for you. Be a little mysterious and laid-back.

This might get his attention back.

I sence what you need is to be in a spiritual relationship that gives you something, a husband that sees you. I understand the feeling you have. Clinging to him and asking for explanations will, however, only drive him further away.

Answer 7

I think it is common in alot of marriages, after the newness is gone. I think that if he really loves you he should listen to how you feel. If you are willing and want to make it work that you should check into couples counseling or support groups. If you can't afford counseling or don't have insurance most county human services have counseling available at free or reduced fees or there are other agencies that can help. I think counseling is good for all couples it's a way for each to express theirselves and get another opinon and suggestions of ways to make both of you happy.

Answer 8

Sit down, talk with him, tell him how you feel. Take a class with him. Spend time together in begining of your marriage is very important, if you loose that, you'll loose him. Hang out with his friends at school, chat with them find out more about your husband through them and how he treats them. If everything you recommend him is no no no; then definitely, seek counseling if it doesn't work...I think you do your part. Once you have kids, it'll be harder to deal with.

Answer 9

y don't he study with u?ya , u can bet he is cheating , get out of the marriage, unless u want to try to save it , then u 2 need to do some heavy talking and he needs to not be spending time with someone else, he sounds like a jerk

Answer 10

I don't know if I would even threathen with a divorce. I would just go out and about with my friends and especially with a couple of guys friends. Start dressing more sexy and be eye candy and don't try to flaunt it around in front of him do it else where and if he notice so be it and if not so be it. BE YOUR OWN SELF THAT IS WHAT I HAD TO DO!!! Do what makes you happy and no one else because if you do not worry about yourself hunny no one else will.