Why do some men scare from marriage or use the excuse that it's just a piece of paper??? What can I do to express to my man just how much it would mean to be married? (once we get a few issues straight)
2006-07-06 10:31:51 · 23 answers · asked by kajunattitude 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we're engaged, and having been living together for 3 years. That's why he doesn't think it would be any different
2006-07-06 10:38:36 · update #1
depends if youre in love w/ the person
2006-07-06 10:33:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few issues? You mean as in things about him you want to change? Give it up, you marry a person for who they are, not who you think you can turn them into...doesn't work that way.
A real marriage is more than just the piece of paper, it is an emotional, spiritual, and physical commitment between two people. The paper makes it legal in the eyes of the government, and insurance companies. If they love you enough to make the kind of commitment that is a real marriage, then they shouldn't have any problems with the 'piece of paper'.
Using that excuse just means that they don't want to be tied down, they want to be able to move on if they decide to.
Forcing the issue will either result in them giving in and resenting you for it, or for them moving on. If you want marriage, you need to discuss it with him seriously. If he won't rethink it, you need to move on.
Or it could be as simple that with you trying to set him straight on some issues now, he's figuring it'll be like that forever, and no one wants to marry someone that acts like their mother. Remember, it takes two.
2006-07-06 17:40:38 · answer #2 · answered by jimmy h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
walk away or go to therapy. a commitment PHOBE is not a pleasant trait to deal with. it's not just a paper.
why get an education? why buy a car from a dealer and not off the street? why not sell a house to a friend/stranger and just take money and go through any paper work?
because these are not right. not ethical. not safe*financially etc*
here's a rebuttle to that "it's just a piece of paper' comment:::::
well then you are just one man in a million, what makes you special, why do i have to sleep with you and only you?
All men are pretty much the same: they have a head, two arms, 2 legs and a dick. they all function the same. why choose one, why be with you?
******because we are distinctively individuals. we are special. and that PAPER is proof that one finds the other special, unique etc. IT THESE technical papers or paper work did not exist then, why have relationships whether it be a business transaction, a job, **PAYCHECK***, owning a car, birth certificate etc. it's all just paper. come on!
2006-07-06 17:39:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got married to my husband in August - this October we will have been together for 6 years, 51/2 of which we have lived together - it DOES change things - in a good way! Yes, we still live together and enjoy our day to day lives, but for unexplainable reasons, we are closer now than we ever were before. There is just something that happens when you take that next step. I don't think that it is that your fiance isn't ready, he just doesn't understand how marriage deepens the relationship because you haven't done it yet! My husband said the same stuff but he does agree that being married is WAY better. Good luck! ;)
2006-07-06 17:42:34 · answer #4 · answered by Fortune Favors the Brave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain that a piece of paper is not all marriage is tell him it is your commitment to one another that you want to spend the rest of your lives together as one.It is your commitment to love only him and no other and that you are giving yourself to him for all eternity body and soul,foresaking any other being and to bind you only unto him in life and after. Also let him know that being married has many benefits on Taxes,insurance and if you plan on having children they need parents not a man with a different name as a daddy!! If he loves you enough he will come to you on his own, they use that as an excuse to stay single and to have an easy out meaning they are not as commited as you are!
2006-07-06 17:41:05 · answer #5 · answered by kim.york 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to try and keep this short, but if that piece of paper is important to you and he is the one for you than it will be as equally important to him. I also feel like it is just a piece of paper and really a society standard which is governmentally instituted. You do not have to have that notorized paper to say that you are married, but in this country in order to be recognized as a married couple you do. I am getting legally married in 2 weeks even though I feel this way; my fiance feels that the legal marriage is a equally important to him as well.
2006-07-06 17:47:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lovinlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he really love you? has he stooped screwing around. He doesn't want commitment that's the only answer he can get up and go at any time or tell you to get out with a piece of paper there alot more work. But now a days there more involved with court to split.
2006-07-06 17:41:56 · answer #7 · answered by kayla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It take guys time to really commit to someone. Take your time, don't try to rush him into anything because then he will run away. I think that marriage is real, but the piece of paper signifies to the world that you are committed to one person. As a woman we need that, it doesn't change our love, it just makes us feel good to have it.
2006-07-06 17:39:15 · answer #8 · answered by Gizz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, some men, and some women, don't like commitment. Personally, I think that if he isn't willing to commit but thinks he can get all the perks of being married without committing, it is because he is lazy and just wants to comfort without the work. After all, he can leave you at any time he wants. I think it is better to get away from him. I think even if he commits, he's only doing it to get what he wants, and it isn't a heartfelt commitment.
2006-07-06 17:36:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello from Australia!
Men who are scared of marriage or say its just a piece of paper are NOT READY for marriage.
You cannot force them into marriage because the marriage will end in divorce quickly.
If a man is commitment shy why would you want him??????
Respect yourself n wait for the right man to come into your life.
You will KNOW instinctively when he enters your life n you will be damn glad you waited!!!!
2006-07-06 17:38:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how marriage really is. Marriage is a real commitment and a relationship that last forever for better or worse. But you have to agree with your lover to protect and love him/her with all your heart or you're never make it through. Before you get married you have to plan how lives is going to be for now on.(ex:Like if your going to have children and how you going to raise them right).
2006-07-06 17:42:43 · answer #11 · answered by monnurse7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋