My fiance' and I are having lots of trouble at home right now. I'm currently staying at my mom's and I feel we're talking to one another a little more respectfully. He lies about where he goes and where he spends his money. And when I find out, and I always do, he tells me he doesn't feel like he should have to tell me what he does every waking moment of his life. Do I need to back off and deal with it, or call it quits????
2006-07-06 09:54:31 · 18 answers · asked by kajunattitude 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It is always hard to be in a relationship and not ever ruffle feathers. All couples have their issues, just like yours and it is very normal to take a breather and step back and assess the situation. He may feel as though you are checking up on him as a way to control him, when it appears that is not the case. I would sit down with him, away from any distraction and hammer out these issues with complete honesty. If he is lying, there is a underlying cause and you need to discover what that cause is. Also, in regards to his money, it is his money and he should be able to spend it how he sees fit, but at the same time, he needs to understand that when you get married, you two will share those funds, and out of respect, he needs to be open and honest with you about where those funds are going. Good luck and I hop I helped, if only a little.
2006-07-06 10:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by C H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope don't stay to gether. If you have to stay at your moms then you know it isn't going to work. And once someone lies to you the trust is gone. If you get married will he lie where he spends the money or where he goes. For one he does have to tell you where he is every moment when your married to him, Because how are you to know to call the police, when he could be hurt or crashed his car. You away have to tell someone where your at all times. No don't back off and you don't need to deal with it. But I would think about calling it quits, because he doesn't sound like he cares about you when you worry about him. and when two people are married they are a team and they look out for each other and keep track of the money together since the money is both of your money. There isn't one person in a marriage. so when someone state mine and your. The marriage is over.
2006-07-06 17:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by houtexknights330 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CH has pretty much put the tail on the donkey in my opinion. Marriage is all about respect. He needs to know, If you ask him where he was at today, you want the truth. And as far as money is concerned his money is your money, so you both have to manage it together. And you both have the right to know where it is going. I am speaking about money and general whereabouts. If I call my husband on his cell and I ask him where he is, I expect he will tell me the truth. And I know he expects the truth out of me. If you cant trust him to be honest with you, then Honey you just dont need to be marrying this guy. I would have a sit down discussion with him about all of this. Tell him what marriage is all about. Offer him an out. Tell him it is ok if he is just not ready for this depth of a committment. Also I would tell him the engagement is like a trial for you. You expect the same type of honesty now as you will then. After him knowing what this time is for you, he continues deceiving you then mabey you need to back away. Just remember respect. If he lies, dont curse or scream. Just analyze and think can I deal with this guy lieing to me for 20 years? Or should I get out of this?
2006-07-06 17:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let's see, he's lying to you now and you haven't married him. If you marry him the way he is what are the odds that he'll change. None. The mistake so many people make is they believe the person will change after marriage, so they marry. Then they complain about the same old thing month after month, year after year... Go with your gut instincts. Don't get married just to say you have a husband!
2006-07-06 16:59:01 · answer #4 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he is you fianc'e then that means that its comming close for you guys to get married and if you guys are soposed to be getting married then if you ask him a question then he should be able to answer it and answer it truthfuly and if you asked him where he was and where has all his money been going to and he says he doesnt have to explain anything to you are tell you anything then i would definitly say that ya have a problem............ becauce if he is your fianc'e and you want to know where he has been and where his money has been going to then he has a right to tell you unless he is hiding somethen from you.
and if he is hiding somethn from you then that could be a sign that he is cheating on you and that you need to take action on that because you are soon to be married and when you get ready to marry someone there should not be any secrets, everything should be out in the open. and if you come to the point where you think he is cheating then you really need to confront him and get everything out on the table before you guys share vouls .....................and to answer you question do you need to back off of him? NOOOOO you dont need to back off of him. he is your man and you have the right to question him about where he has been and where all his money is going to especialy if his money is not satisfying what it should be. so no i dont think you should back off of him...............my love goes out to you girl
take care
2006-07-06 17:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Backing off means living the way you dont want to live. Calling it quits means you can find someone more like yourself. You guys are engaged and you had to stay at your mom's house. It wont get any better when you get married.
2006-07-06 16:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl,you need to call it quits.His business is your business. Your about to be his wife. You guys are about to spend every ''waking'' moment together.He deosn't realize that.His money is your money. You guys are a team. Partners for life.If he lies about where he goes, then he must be doing something wrong.(Like cheating ) Let this man go. He's not ready for a long time relationship.
2006-07-06 17:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by AshBash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel he is being very disrespectful to you...dont let him push you away. you do have a right to know where he goes and where he spends his money. if you are about to get married he needs to learn to call and/or communicate with you. if he doesn't start doing so then you need to end it. It will just result in devorce if things don't start getting better between you two.
2006-07-06 19:15:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl.. i hate it when a guy lies.. especially when they're caught and they still tried to lie their way out! as for this case, i say u call it quits, u can do better.. think about it, this is before u get marry, imagine after the marriage then it will really ugly!!!
2006-07-06 17:04:22 · answer #9 · answered by Jade 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would not tolerate his attitude.. but you have to listen to yourself. People can only tell you how they feel from outside of the box. You are the one who is in the relationship. So you are the only one who will really know what to do. You know what kind of person he is and what your relationship is like with him. The best advise i can give is listen to yourself and your instincts.You can't go wrong!!! I hope this helps!!!!!!!!
2006-07-06 17:01:47 · answer #10 · answered by Nikki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋