I love but Im not inlove?

Question

I used to be crazy about my husband when I first met him. I chased him for the first 2 years I knew him until I finally caught him. Over the past 2 1/2 years though I have lost that burning desire. I dont find his body attractive anymore because he has gained weight, but so have I. I dont have a desire to have sex with him very often. I have been told that it is my age (29) and stress in my life and that as my children get older and so do I that this spark and desire will come back. I wish I had that "Im so crazy in love with this guy that I cant wait to jump his bones" feeling that I used to have. I hate feeling this way. And divorce is not an option for me, so dont suggest it.

Answer 1

First of All...it is SO NICE TO SEE 1 WOMAN here that says divorce is not an option! 2nd of all you should plan a get away for you and him....get a babysitter and go somewhere ( I don't care if it is just down the block)...but light the candles, have a romantic dinner, or just do something different that requires the both of you being active with each other & last but not least re-say your vows to each other and Pray with each other every night! FYI- I wished my wife would have had your courage not to seek outside a marriage and cause a divorce.

Answer 2

Well, you are probably just bored. As you said, you chased him. It was thrilling and once you got him, you were basking in the glow of satisfaction. Now life is ordinary and well, boring. I don't think it is your age. I am 28 and a mother of 2. I have been married for 10 years and still find my husband to be super sexy even though he has gained weight. Marriage takes a lot of work. You never can take things for granted, never can stop complimenting each other. You hav e to make time for just you and him. Try new things to spice up the sex life. Sit and reflect back on why you first wanted him, try to rekindle that. The weight shouldn't really matter if he is the same person inside. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Sounds like you're just use to each other. You need something exciting to happen, you need to put the romance back. If you have small kids, it is true that you might feel this way. Its hard to be romantic and find time for sex with a 2 year old running around. Raising kids is exhausting. I wouldn't worry. Just make dates with him where the 2 of you can get spiffed up and spend a few hours together doing fun things. That feeling WILL come back.

Answer 4

Okay, a few things.

#1: "love" and "in love" is not what you're talking about here; you're talking about "love and respect" and "attracted physically", respectively.

#2: it is absolutely normal for sex drive to diminish as a marriage or long-term relationship proceeds, because boredom is inevitable. This is especially true if you have children, because they take all of your energy.

It is entirely possible that your sex drive will come back at some point, but it's not necessary for it to do so; a long life with someone doesn't have to have the frequency and passion of sex that you had at the beginning to succeed.

Of course, if one of you is still, ahem, "raring to go", and the other is not -- then you have a problem, and need to discuss it openly and honestly so that you can either fix it or learn to cope with it.

Answer 5

Your just in a rut right now thinking about things the way they use to be. Quit stressing over everything and relax. Send the kids to family and spend the weekend alone at home or go somewhere with your husband. Spend some quality time with him without any interruptions. When i turned 30 my sex drive went into over drive so hang on you'll be okay.

Answer 6

ok i would leave it polka dots with two colors of white one more brighter then the other not as much as cream but two diffrent whites that contrast you can get it in white have seen the material tons of times i would do the back corset but with black tie to tie in the black straps or you will have a dress with just black straps and has really nothing else to tie in the dress to. ad far as the fuchsia tulle i would stick it to black with a dark red to go with your flowers just my opinion you would have to keep it at the knees or just above i understand your flowers and think the bridesmaid dress and flowers will totally go i would also go with my soon to be to a tux shop and find the same kind of funky suit might do pin strips or something in that nature good luck congratulations happy holidays and for all the other writers that state black is for funerals do you know black isnt a color of sorrow yet a color of joy black means your happy that the person that passed make it to heaven it isnt a bad color and why does everything have to be so square i love something diffrent and funky esp when it comes to weddings or partys why have the same old drab wedding her friends and family will remember that wedding the dress and not be like oh it was this big dress no her dress had personality

Answer 7

If divorce is not an option, then you have no choice but to stick it out and wait for the spark of yoru mid 30's to ignite and get you horny again. Or have an affair...but that is just asking for trouble.

Answer 8

Seek therapy. You're fine. Just fine. All is normal. Divorce should not even be brought up. Like I've said, for every bad reason why we get married, there is an equal number of bad reasons to get divorced.

Answer 9

Light some candles around the bedroom and turn on some romantic music. Put on something sexy for him, seeing him get turned on will turn you on. It sounds like stress is the problem, not your age or the fact that you don't love him. Go get it girl...

Answer 10

Well then go out and have an affair maybe you'll meet someone
that you'll have feelings for and can't live without. Maybe that'll change your life and you'll feel happier. It worked for me
I'm separated and starting a divorce, much happier now.