We have been together for four years and lived together the whole time. We also have a two year old. We have dicussed marriage many times. But he always changes the subject. We are currently not living together because I think that he needs to get his priorities together. We are still together, just not living together. I love him with all my heart and I want to stay to with him. What should I do?
2006-07-06 09:36:47 · 22 answers · asked by agraat23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You really only have two choices: continue to live as you are or don't. You should not try to change his mind. If he wants to marry you he will. If he does not want to marry you do you really want to change his mind and hope he does not resent you for it.
I was in a similar situation and found that I was being pressured into marraige by the my friends, co-workers, and family. I ended up getting married when I realized that it was hurting my carreer. I love my husband and always will but I don't need a peice of paper to prove it or remind me of it.
Just because he doesn't marry you does not mean he does not love you. I was never a big fan of marraige because all of the people I know that are married are pretty miserable. Marraige was something to be avoided. Unfortunately, I understand the social pressure to get married after being in a long term relationship.
Make the decision based on what is important to you.
2006-07-06 09:44:17 · answer #1 · answered by Kristonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have thought about all of this before you got knocked up, huh? The kid needs a father figure and the real father is probably the best one for that job. Unfortunately you can't force your boyfriend to do anything, if he is avoiding the subject of marriage then maybe you should take a real hard look at what is really going on. Are you distorting the facts to make yourself feel better? Maybe you should think realistically what this little hiatus from living together really is about, is he out ******* around while you are raising a your child? Good luck honey.
2006-07-06 16:45:22 · answer #2 · answered by MFSD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contrary to what some people may say about a piece of paper validating your relationship that is not the case. Your relationship takes on an entirely different life when you are married. Legally and spiritually. So I know what you mean, unfortunately I do not have an answer for you. I cannot even keep a boyfriend, wait I cannot find a guy that I want to be my boyfriend so I am not the one that should give you advice on what to do. But like I said I know you are not looking for validation really, you are looking for growth in your eyes, the laws eyes and Gods eyes (if that is who and or what you believe in).
2006-07-06 16:49:33 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend whose been with her boyfriend for nine years and they have a four year and they are not married or engaged, but they do live together.
As long as two people love each other and want to live together and have children it doesn't matter whether they are married.
So don't push for marriage if it hasn't happened yet. If you love him and he loves you then everything else is not that important
2006-07-06 16:44:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you are not together...you are living separately which means you are not together...what priorities? aside from his commitment to marriage are you happy? if things are going well and the relationship is strong, why pressure him to marry you? you already have a child together...if things aren't going to work out it won't matter if you are married or not...get back together, tell him you want to be married but it is up to him when this happens...otherwise, if marriage is that important to you, leave him...you don't want someone to marry you because you made him do it
2006-07-06 16:44:03 · answer #5 · answered by twentythree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in my opinion ya'll should get married for 1 thing if ya'll dont then u might have to raise your 2 year old by yourself and that can be a hard thing to do for anyone and for another thing if ya'll are that much in love then prove it and get married... if he changes the subject or tries dont let him tell him how much u love and how much he means to you and that you love your 2 year old as much as you love him and want your 2 year old to grow up with a father and i think that should work. i think marriage is the best thing to do if u need any more help just ask...
2006-07-06 16:43:02 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point? If he still changes the subject when marriage is discussed, you need to press the issue.
Decide for yourself what it is that you really want. Once you know for SURE, approach him with that. Tell him what you need to have in your relationship and if he still avoids the topic, you have your answer. He doesn't want what you want. Time to get on with your life and hope that at least he remains a good father to your child.
2006-07-06 16:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by cr329 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to step up and marry you instead of dragging you along. I would make every effort to stay together but ultimately he might never grow up. Don't waste to much time on him and make sure you biggest priority is that child.
2006-07-06 16:41:31 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why cant you just be with him without a piece of paper validating your relationship? Well if you really want and need to get married let him know give him an ultimatum either marriage or its over.
2006-07-06 16:40:44 · answer #9 · answered by QUEEN OF LOS ANGELES 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opinion: By no means should you marry someone just because you have a child with them....I so called loved someone that I had two kids with never married him...he went his way and I went mine.....I found my soul mate......but the ex is now called the sperm donor
2006-07-06 16:48:45 · answer #10 · answered by cmichelles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋