there is a girl that my husband had a sexual relationship in the past...then my husband and I started a relationship the other girl caused problems and he stopped talking with her until just about a week ago...then he contacted her during a fight...so now do I try to be her friend even though i don't like her morals..she knows she is causing problems and don't care because they are friends...or do I just try to deal with them two talking and if I can't leave...my husband told me if she didn't want to be friend then he wouldn't talk to her...but if i can't deal with it too bad....what should i do....leave him...try to deal with it eventhough it hurts....or try to be her friend??
2006-07-06 09:32:31 · 14 answers · asked by C.Lou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave him! What kind of husband calls an ex when he's in a fight with his wife? Not a husband I would keep around. Don't let him think it's okay to do that to you. And you need to be just as mad at him as you are her. He's the one that is supposed to be showing you loyalty, not her. I'd get out!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-06 10:06:29 · answer #1 · answered by pinkprincess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is amazing that so many women assume that their husband must be cheating if he's talking to a woman. An ex, an old friend, whatever. Don't jump to conclusions. It could be that he needed someone to talk to that could be rational about whatever you two were fighting about. If you don't trust your husband then you two have completely different issues and there's no way to tell from your paragraph what the root of that might be. If he *is* cheating, and you *know* he is cheating (because you saw it, your friends saw them necking at a club, he came home with her lipstick on his face, etcetera), leave him. Don't jump to conclusions.
I could tell you first hand how stressful it is to be cut off from former friends because of a jealous spouse. It is not healthy.
2006-07-10 18:04:46 · answer #2 · answered by uncle_beer78 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be friends with her if you don't like her. Be true to your own feelings. What I would do is have a very serious heart to heart with your husband about her. Why did he contact her when you were fighting? What is with his intense desire to be friends with her? Make him tell you why she's so important in his life. If he can't then you have every reason to tell him to dump her, as she's bad for your relationship. If he insists that he is just friends with her, then let it be very clear that you don't like or trust her in at all.
2006-07-06 17:14:51 · answer #3 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should respect your feelings. If you dont want him to then he shouldn't. If he would rather let you leave than voluntarily stop speaking to her, you dont need him anyway. He has to look at it as if the tables were turned, if he is anything like most men he would hate it if you were talking to your ex. Try telling him how you feel truthfully. If that doesnt work then leave the dog!!!
2006-07-06 16:43:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has a problem, if you want him to feel your agony, being they have had a sexual past together, you need to get in touch with one of your old flames, and see how he likes it, if he doesn't then maybe he'll stop. And if he don't then go on your marry little way, I would have major problems with my husband if he was in your shoes.
2006-07-06 16:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not ok in this circumstance. Don't do anything aggresive with the woman situation such as cheating with someone as someone else referred to. You will only complicate things and further doom you marriage. If you want to save your marriage, you need to go to counseling and work through your problems and his issue with his ex-girlfriend. Going to his ex is an easy way for him to get comfort and approval. Be careful and good luck.
2006-07-06 17:37:28 · answer #6 · answered by Stephen H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not try to be her friend. She is not trying to be yours. She is a troublemaker and your husband needs to grow up and realize just because you two have a fight, he cannot run off to an ex gf for attention. I would tell him this.
2006-07-06 17:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by melissa_anne_maison 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a couple stops being lovers, it can be difficult to be "only" friends.
Tell your husband you don't like it and that you think it will damage your marriage. Talk to him about why he thinks he needs to invite his ex back into his life.
2006-07-06 17:56:45 · answer #8 · answered by johntadams3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a hard one,but if it was me i would ask him if it would be ok for me to be friends with an ex that i had a sexual past with.If he said that it would be ok then i would start calling one of my exs and start talking to him.If you start doing it he may see how it really feels and he may stop.What is good for him is good for you right.Don't get mad get even.
2006-07-06 17:02:44 · answer #9 · answered by TinkerBell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is your husband he should respect how you feel and not talk to her. but it sounds to me your husband is kind of crapy and I would leave him. This is just direspectfull. I know this may hurt,, but the only reason anyone would talk to an ex., well its not normal nor good. good luck to you.
2006-07-06 16:38:10 · answer #10 · answered by Brandot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋