we love each other very much home life and other aspects are good we get along and i help pay bills and im a good house keeper also .what could be stoping him?
2006-07-06 09:13:37 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
we have talked aobut it and he tell me he doesnt want to hear it
2006-07-06 09:23:15 · update #1
im 22 and he is 29 . and has a 7 yr old son by someone else he dont see. everything is in his name house, and all the bills. but i pay the bills he pays mortage
2006-07-06 09:27:13 · update #2
Well considering that most marriages fail, that would scare me too and there is no reason to rush....but I would sit him down and let him know how I feel about living the rest of my life with him and see his response as well but remember... taking things slow is never wrong.
2006-07-06 09:16:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You get treated just as you allow him to treat you. Women always want to blame themselves(housekeeper,etc?) instead of having a healthy self esteem and expecting a certain behavior --respect .Maybe he is satisfied with HIS goal met. Maybe you have higher goals. Maybe you or he feels comfortable with your partner, and don't feel like looking or taking a chance with someone else, but the true love and commitment that a marriage requires just isn't there. Did you both talk about your lives, goals, how to raise kids and when to have them, who will handle finances, set up life savings,ins., savings for a special item, religion, family, etc. before starting the live-in situation or was it just for convenience,cheaper for rent etc., or did sex settle it? If you didn't discuss all of it and more, then NOW is the time to talk about all of it BEFORE either can make choices that will change your 1st choice. Decide if he is capable of working towards your goals or if you both need to compromise or if you need to decide for yourself, "well , this has been a great experience but I really am ready and need the fulfillment of taking the next step toward MY goal." and then get on with life. Tell him that you have enjoyed the time, have no bitter feelings, and you want him in your life as a friend forever but that you really need to grow. Some people are incapable of making or reaching higher goals for themselves or compromise to meet part of yours, even though they may Say that they love you. Remember that you may love him but can't be totally happy with him as it now stands. If you stay unhappy then your relationship will be broken and you won't even have him as a friend! Think, talk and I hope you have a happy ending!
2006-07-06 10:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things are as good as you say they are and your b/f still has not asked you to marry him, you have to ask yourself one question. Can I live the rest of my life this way? If you are not happy living like this, and he will not marry you, you have to either live the rest of your life like this, or break up with him. By living this way, you have the rest of your life to be miserable, by breaking up with him you will have one year of misery but a chance to meet someone that shares the same values as you. If he is not ready to marry you now, why would be ready to marry you in a year, or two, or ten? It is a choice that only you can make. You mention that you help to pay the bills and you are a good house keeper, but what does he do for you? Are you living in his house, helping to pay his mortgage? Is he helping you to pay your bills?
2006-07-06 09:22:46 · answer #3 · answered by Josie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
could be alot of things. Maybe he feels that he doesn't need to marry you. Ever hear the saying why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Maybe he's just afraid of making such a big commitment. (i know, you're already comitted. but to him it's not legally binding so he's safe.) or maybe, and this one might hurt, he's just not interested in marrying you. Maybe he's just waiting for something better to come along. I know a guy like that and it kills me to see my best friend with him.
2006-07-06 09:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by cyber_music 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Committment phobia maybe??? how old are you guys?
I do agree with some of the others though, that hes got his cake and is eatin it too. Hes living with you and you are acting like husband and wife, theres just no papers or "real" committment. I would try to talk to him about it.
2006-07-06 09:19:48 · answer #5 · answered by cmp8423 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could turn the tables and ask him ;)
But seriously, he may just be commitment-phobic and he may just simply think, (and pardon this wording here) why buy the cow, when he can already get the milk for free?
2006-07-06 09:18:06 · answer #6 · answered by B C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you actually sat down to talk about it?
That would be your first step. Find out what he thinks about the idea. If you are a couple then you should be open to communicating about things like this...
Don't wait for him to ask you, talk about it!
2006-07-06 09:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by kristijay99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he marry you? He has all the benefits and none of the legal papers..he has it made...
2006-07-06 09:15:56 · answer #8 · answered by jean m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he buy the cow when he already has the milk?
and
If it isn't broken, don't fix it.
2006-07-06 09:26:44 · answer #9 · answered by Doingr8 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why get the cow when you get the milk for free.....that's what he is thinking.
2006-07-06 09:17:38 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋