I'm about to go to college and my mom is being real strict about how I dress and what I do. I dress like a boy now and she wants me to wear girl clothes. She she does this because she dosen't want people to think I am gay. She says people will not like me if they think I am gay and will tease me. I am gay, but she dosen't know. I don't like her trying to change me but, I fell I have to listen to her because I am still living with her until I go to college. What should I do to get her to stop changing the way I am? Should I tell her that I am gay?
2006-07-06 08:40:51 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well, that's a tough choice. I know, I went through the same thing.
How about this - when you are at college, you can wear what you want, since she won't see you [assuming you go away to college]. So at least that part is easier. But it's hard to wait until then, I bet.
You could say that you are an adult [or becoming an adult], and have to learn to make your own choices about what to wear, and learn the results of your choices. You could say this could be a good life lesson.
If you tell her you are gay, it sounds like you run the risk of being asked to leave. That could be completely devastating, and could imperil your college plans.
So if you can hold out until college, without going nuts, do it. You will also meet people your own age going through the same thing, and can hear about their experiences and get support.
I waited until the fall of my sophmore [college] year to "come out," which was definitely the right decision for me. Even then the reaction was not at all supportive or nice. I got the rules for "if you ever want to live again in this house," which included clothing. But at least I was more ready to stand up for myself, having waited.
I wish you good luck, and tolerance and understanding.
2006-07-06 09:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could tell her , I think you should, however you know your mom better than anyone. Try to remember that mothers are protective of their children, although she might not like the way your dressing, or what she thinks your clothes say, she loves you and doesn't want to see you hurt. the only way for her to understand is for you to sit down and talk to her, if you all have a good relationship, then sit her down and explain your feelings, maybe before you leave, this way if she has a problem with it, she will have time to blow off steam. If your bi-I would wait until your sure to tell her, but if you want her to stop hounding you, you gotta give her a reason.
Good Luck, with this and College!
2006-07-06 16:27:58 · answer #2 · answered by Hope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you poor thing. You should just tell your mother that you are gay and explain how you feel. She way be upset with you for a little while, but she'll get over it. People will not hate you just because you are gay or that you dress differently, The only reason anyone will ever HATE you is because thay wanna be just like you. Tell her, tell her, tell her. She'll stop nagging you. If worse comes to worse, get some professional advice on comming out if you are worried about her reaction, tell a friend, and be honest.
-Punkin
2006-07-06 15:48:26 · answer #3 · answered by Wonko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clothes do not make the person, sweetie. There has to be a way to stand up to your mom without making her angry or outting yourself until you're ready. I wish I had the answer. Tell her you do NOT like dressing in frills and girlie stuff. Tell her these kinds of clothes are not comfortable on you. Or....you could save the receipts and take them back! Or exchange them! If you have to wear them a couple of times, don't take the tags off!!!
2006-07-06 16:36:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to tell her you're gay right now go along with her until you leave for school. When you get there dress as you like.
2006-07-06 17:15:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i was u i would dress like a girl until i leave to college. cause i have the same problem as u i dress like a boy most of the time except its my dad that has the problem wit it. if u cant do that sit her down and tell her that youre gay. u would probably have to tell her eventually.
2006-07-06 15:48:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is worng to treat you this way. you need to be the individual you are in every way. Clothing, music, every way. I suggest you take your time till you move off to college, Then enjoy your new life and new found freedom.
As far as coming out to mom. Yes, eventually do this when YOU feel it is the right time. Tell her tolove and accept you for who YOU are. It is the only way to be loved.
2006-07-06 15:46:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mother that she is verbally abusing you and that she will scar you for life with her evil ways of thinking. When you are ready, and make the choice to come out, then you'll mother will know. Your mother and my mother must be related.
2006-07-06 17:06:10 · answer #8 · answered by cj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is paying for college. If you have scholorships and are paying for it yourself then by all means come out to her. If she is funding part of it I would dress as she wants you to till you go to school.
2006-07-06 15:49:59 · answer #9 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guess i truly depends i mean ya shouldnt you be proud of who you are no matter what --- but then again it's you freakin mom--and they dnt think the way us younger people think--- You know when a good time is to break the news to her--- there no good and bad way to say how you feel and what you like ---- ---
2006-07-06 16:03:23 · answer #10 · answered by Mousey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋