My ex-fiance and I have been broken up for 9 months. We have both tried dating other people but neither one of our other relationships have worked. I know that I still love him and that he loves me too but there are other factors that are keeping us apart. My parents don't approve b/c he is of a different race. Of course I don't care what others have to say including members of my family b/c we are both adults and i feel we should make our own decisions. But he can't deal with the fact that he wouldn't be accepted by my family and that it will cause probs b/t my parents and I. Neither of us can seem to move on though. The harder I try not to think about him the more I do. What should I do?
2006-07-06 08:29:25 · 7 answers · asked by Ash 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Obviously he cares about what others think. Until he can say, "I love you and nothing else matters", then this will be between you and him. Give him time, but don't wait forever. I hope for you that he realizes he loves and wants to be with you.
2006-07-06 08:38:28 · answer #1 · answered by frenchgem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been down the same road too, I am Indian and my fiance was black. My parents freaked out and threatened to disown me , tell me I would no longer be a member of the family. It was a hard decision but I had to let the guy go. It was HARD and we were both totally heartbroken, but if you don't have your family on your side too your relationship would definately suffer. I think you will suffer the most though.
If there's a slim chance of your family ever accepting him eventually, then go for it. Get married to him and then tell your folks. You and you alone knows the depths of their feelings where being with a man outside your race goes. You know, only you can decide , but you can't think of here and now, the future is most important. You never know what your future has instored. And you can't gurantee the relationship will last. That's why it is important to have your family there for you. Think it through completely and think of what you can deal with and what you can't, only you will have to make that ultimate decision and only you have to live with the consequences that comes with that decision. If you're ready for that, be prepared to either get over him and move on to someone you know your family will accept too, or deal with whatever hardships instored of going along with the relationship .
Decisions like this is never easy especially when family don't accept a guy you love , but to me family is most important cause in this day and age, you can not gurantee you two will make it and you got to have family support !!!!
2006-07-06 08:49:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hard question. When young and in love, you think it's only you two and the world,;but that isn't the case. You DO marry the whole family and all the conflicts and pleasures that come along with it.
Marriage is wonderful but hard work too...and you have to be really strong to cope with outside factors; especially those that want to destroy your marriage.
Maybe you should start with your family. Is it really a racial question, or are there other reasons as well? If there are other reasons...and if you are very close to your family, then maybe you should listen to their advice. Sometimes the older adults have more hindsight.
2006-07-06 08:55:33 · answer #3 · answered by bluebyou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel great about it! I really don't mind interracial dating. I think its beautiful when people can express their feelings and not bow to the status que placed on us by society. People forget the culture of america and so it seems, there isn't what they would describe a "problem" with this situation, They choose not to address it, well the "problem" is people being color blind, to the specifics of the word, BLIND TO THE COLORS AROUND YOU. They are unwilling to accept them and hence they are not there or you are blind to them. I don't believe in color blindness, its ignorance, it needs to change, be aware of the wonderous variety around you and accept it. I Think its extremly interesting to learn about other people's ways of life. I think its really sad that people of any race can simply 'dis' others becuase they are of any color.
2006-07-07 05:33:41 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and explain your view. You know how your parents are, their issues with race cause problems with you anyway, whether you and your ex are together or not.
2006-07-06 08:49:06 · answer #5 · answered by ericalsmith2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that sucks..............have you talked to your parents about it? what are the reasons for them not approving of interracial relationships? has he done something for them to dissaprove of him or is it strictly his ethnic background? i also believe love overcomes lot's of things if both of you really love each other as much as you say you do than you wouldn't be apart. what else are you guys looking for?
2006-07-06 08:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by MARY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL MY HUSBAND AND I OUR THAT COUPLE MSRRIED 13 YEARS AND 4 LOVLEY KIDS AND WE DONT CARE WHO WE UPSET THEY DONT LIVE OUR LIVES WE DO
IF HE MAKES YOU HAPPY AND YOU S WANT HIM FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH HIMM NOT THEM DO WHT MAKES YOU HAPPY THAT BETWEEN YOU HIM ND GOD ITS RIGHT IN YOUR EYES
2006-07-06 08:43:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋