I went out of town a week ago and when I came back I found that my husband had subscribed to a gay sex website. I have caught him looking at straight anal porn once before. However, this is entirely different and really bothers me. When I confronted him about it he said that he was curious and had had these thoughts before ,but could never act them out. He says that he is extremely turned on by me and I have nothing to worry about , but I just keep thinking this isn't normal. He has wanted to perform anal on me ,but I never even considered that it might be a gay thing. Please help, I am terrified and we have had such a good relationship, but is he posssibly gay?
2006-07-06 08:24:22 · 21 answers · asked by carolove 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm trying to figure this whole thing out. Since I found this out and talked about it he's wanted to have sex 2-3 times a day. we've always been really active, but this is way more than usual . Is he just trying to make me forget the whole gay thing and prove that he's not or cover it up???
2006-07-06 09:07:35 · update #1
He has been desperate and begged me not to leave saying that he is really happy, would never do it again, and wishes he could take it back. Should I believe it?
2006-07-06 09:14:23 · update #2
He is not necessarily gay. There are varying degrees of homosexuality, and he may just be wanting to experiment or try new things just to spice things up. My fiance and I go to gay bars and sometimes even watch gay porn....but we aren't gay. It's just sort of interesting. If he says you turn him on, then you do. He can't be totally gay if he's having sex with and is married to you. He may just be exhibiting some gay tendencies. Let him express himself.
2006-07-06 08:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by Darcie 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In our society, it's considered normal for women to "experiment" in college; that is, to fool around with a woman or two as they explore their sexuality. For men, however, such things are strictly taboo.
That's a societal limitation, however. The same urges that make women curious about other women -- even if they're not attracted to other women -- are present in men. Different straight men have different levels of comfort with this, for various reasons. Some aren't even comfortable with the idea of a gay man in the same building as them, while others talk openly about guys they think are handsome, even though they're not interested in those men sexually.
So is your husband gay? He might be, and he might not be. Only he knows for sure; however, looking at gay porn does not immediately make him gay. You either have a gay husband who is struggling with the unsustainable suppression of his sexuality, or a straight husband who is comfortable enough with his sexuality to fulfill his curiosity in a harmless way without concern that it will "make him gay".
So, in short: if this is the only sign you've ever gotten (and looking at straight anal sex is NOT a sign; you can't look at any porn online whatsoever without seeing straight anal, it's a popular subject because it's "forbidden") then you shouldn't worry about it. Just keep the dialog open; tell him "you know, if you are gay, it's more important for you to be who you are than to suppress it for my sake, so let me know if you start thinking you might be."
2006-07-06 08:47:16 · answer #2 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No time to read other answers.
Sorry if I repeat.
Might be gay.
Most likely Bisexual.
You can still be happily married.
May have to get a strap on and do a little role reversal.
You may find that he just wants you to wear the dildo
while he enters you from behind.
If he likes men and wants to have sex with men, it could be the equipment or the masculinity.
You had better find out which.
You can be masculine from time to time
and you can put on the "equipment" from time to time.
#1 thing to remember: it isn't his fault and he's not a bad person.
Love him and stay with him. But DO DO DO talk to him about it.
If he really must have a man sexually, well, that's gonna take a whole lot of understanding on your part and a lot of lubrication and condoms on his part.
hahahaha
No pun intended.
Okay, maybe a little.
Cheers
2006-07-07 06:55:36 · answer #3 · answered by Cherry Stems 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's as queer as a three dollar bill. No straight man would subscribe to a gay website. I'd be a bit wary next time I went out of town if I were you....
2006-07-06 08:36:27 · answer #4 · answered by spartyon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's bisexual....on the DL. Watch him for yourself and you will KNOW the answer. There is so much going on in the SEX realm that you need to be aware. Definitely don't forget about it...just keep eyes and ears open...and the TRUTH will reveal itself!!
2006-07-06 13:01:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it to me. Anal sex is one thing, but with another guy is something else. Straight people don't subscribe to porn that doesn't excite them. But, I agree...be gentile with him...it's not his fault.
2006-07-06 08:29:05 · answer #6 · answered by The Doctor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wanting to have annal with you: Normal
Watching gay porn: Not normal
2006-07-06 08:28:30 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He possibly could be but the less weirded out by it you act the more likely he will come out to you when he is ready
2006-07-06 08:35:40 · answer #8 · answered by tawny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he most likely isn't gay alot of guys look at porn and on all porn there are guys
2006-07-06 08:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by cutietraci87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, maybe he is just curios and wanted to experiment, or maybe he is bisexual. I mean who knows these days there are a lot of things that are going on, so maybe you need to watch him more carefully. WATCH GIRL!!!!!
2006-07-06 08:30:12 · answer #10 · answered by peaches 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋