My husband and I never plan fun trips together because he says we can't afford it. But now he has planned an expensive trip with his friend that involves a sport I don't like. He invited me and I declined. Now they have added a week in a fun place before their trip and a week in another fun place after their trip. I said I'd like to go and that I would pay to hang out myself while they do the sports part of the trip. My husband said, no, he won't pay for my trip unless I do the sports part too. Should I be mad?
2006-07-06 07:50:26 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Actually, at one point, I agreed to do the sports part, but then he started giving me such a hard time about money I owe him - that he lent me for my business - I decided I didn't want to cost hiim more money. I don't worry about him cheating - he's going with a friend and his kids.
2006-07-06 08:04:45 · update #1
Yes you should be very angry. Evidently there is something to hide that he doesn't want you know about. If I were you, I would go by yourself everywhere he does without telling him, change your looks, and be your own private detective. Try to get the room right next to his so you can see everyone going in and out of the room.
2006-07-06 07:59:14 · answer #1 · answered by maxine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very mad...first of all, he planned a trip without you in mind. Unless you are in a marriage of convenience, he should be thinking of you when he plans activities/vacations and should want to include you in the activities. As long as you offered to hang out (not on the course or field...??) and promised not to ask if he is almost finished yet...what is the problem? He is most likely pushing you into the sports part because he has gotten used to the idea and planned on you not going and believes that you will continue to decline the offer. Maybe you could be a good sport and try the activities anyway in order to get the parts of the vacation you want.
2006-07-06 15:07:59 · answer #2 · answered by Susan C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, this vacation is 2 weeks long? My feelings would be hurt if you guys don't go on vacations together because you can't afford it and now he's planning this big one without you. I would explain how you feel to him, but without coming across as pushy or demanding. If all else fails, just go and do the sport thing, too. Maybe you could bring a girl friend to hang out with, too.
2006-07-06 14:55:02 · answer #3 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you need to nip that in the bud real fast. You can't let him walk all over you or get away with that mess.Your husband tells you that you guys as a couple can't afford to go trips but he plans an expensive on with his friends. You know something is fishy!
Either he doesn't enjoy your company or has a wandering eye.
There is no way he would be going on any vacation without me.
Guys are real slick! But we can out slick them. He knows you don't like sports, so he knows you won't want to go but I would call his bluff.
Even if I didn't like it I would pretend to cause there is no chance in hell he is going on a vacation with his buddy and not me.
When you get married you become first in your spouses life not his friends. You read me on this.
2006-07-06 15:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by Wahenie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd never be in your situation because my husband would never think of going on vacation without me. But we don't have "his money" and "her money" it's our money and we both pay for everything.
If he won't let you go on his vacation with his friend. Plan your own 2-week vacation where you want to go and let him fend for himself.
There's no reason that you should be forced to go on the sports part if you really hate it. Now, if you've never given it a try, that's another story and you should at least try it and see if you might like it.
2006-07-06 14:56:18 · answer #5 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YESSSSSSSSS you should be 38 hot pissed if i may add... your husband is being very selfish.... what he is doing is wrong... is a matter of fact the man sound like he doesnt want you to go at all
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY you have to find out baby... i smell something rotten here,,you go to that tripp wich ever way posible just in case he has something dark planned it would turn to poo-poo you fix the rest later but for now,you just make sure you find a way you will go to this tripp to the sport part too... honey listen to me do it you hear me? with men you never know.. your husband is being a jerk planning things like that with out taking in consideration any fellings you may have about it... you just make sure for this tripp you have your self there just in case hes got something up his sleeve well it will ruin his little fun tripp in every way.. and while you there for everything he wants to do there you go yes honey that sound like fun lets do it,,,that is the attitud you need to see if he treats you different what is going to be his reaccion to this,, good luck.
2006-07-06 15:05:11 · answer #6 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's necessarily mean, but it's definitely inconsiderate. I think he knows you don't want to go on the sports thing so he sets that as the decision breaker. I don't know what the sports part of the trip is, but if you agree to go to that, do you think he'll be fine with that? Chances are he is banking on you not wanting to go, and figures that is the end of it.
2006-07-06 14:57:06 · answer #7 · answered by dk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that sport is probably golf....don't ruin his fun, you just plan your trip with your friends and go about your business. No reason to start a war within the marriage.
2006-07-06 14:54:16 · answer #8 · answered by Toya J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is very AMISS here. Maybe you should tell your husband that he is being mean. Tell him that he is making you feel unloved, unwanted, intrusive, left out, and suspicious. You should be suspicious, you know? Start snooping around. Something may be wrong here. Seriously. If he doesn't let you go, and be HAPPY about you going, then something is up........is he bisexual, or just having a bisexual fling? Are they going woman hunting? This kind of thing happens to a lot of women, and they never even know. They say, "OH, heaven's no! My husband would never, EVER do that?" Well, ladies, SURPRISE!!!!!!!! All I am saying is that something isn't right about this whole thing. You should start snooping around.
2006-07-06 14:59:04 · answer #9 · answered by lcamel2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compromise, go to the sporting event. And enjoy the rest of the trip. I'm sure you will have a great time.
2006-07-06 15:09:20 · answer #10 · answered by Ladybug H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋