what would you do if your husband would only have sex with you while youre sleeping?

Question

this is what broke up my marriage. my husband would literally only have sex wth me while i was asleep. i tried everything. i offered to let him have other girls, i tried seducing him, i tried giving him head, (he actually got soft!) i talked to his parents to find out if hed ever been abused, i talked to my pastor and he told me it was my duty as his wife to give it to him however he wanted it. what really bothered me about it is i have been raped more than once in my life, and he knew this. told him it was hurting me, and that i didnt like it, i talked to his best friend as a last resort, and begged him to stay the night on the extra bed in our room, he did it right in front of him! i started loosing sleep because id try to stay awake all night. the final straw was when i woke up one night after hed finished again, (im a very heavy sleeper.) and felt something cold on my leg, i found a tube of lube, (his PARENTS lube!) he had used that instead of getting me ready. what would you do?

Answer 1

It's more than just a sick sense of his feeling in control of the situation. The fact that he knew about your past rape experiences as well as the negative impact and the hurt that his perverse behavior was causing and yet did nothing to keep this in check, 'explain' or even attempt to discuss his weird actions, says a lot for the kind of man that he is - the label 'sicko' is no exaggeration in this context. Sex is something that he wants selfishly on his terms and for his pleasure alone, to the exclusion of mutual gratification. He does not seem to love you - if he did he would not shut you out from discussing his inexplicable behavior; he would not have so brazenly disrespected your wishes; nor would he have totally mortified you by having sex with you before his best friend while you were asleep. I would (i) tell him to get out of my life once and for all and (ii) suggest he indulge his morbid fantasies by investing in a blow-up doll.

Answer 2

I am always sympathetic when I read comments such as yours. First of all, I think your ages are irrelevant. The only substance of time that matters is the fact that you have been married for only a year. I have several impressions: First, I believe he may feel the chase and the challenge is over so the sexual relationship is suffering. Some men are basically predators and only "feed" when they are "hungry" or hunt only when it is necessary for them. Secondly, I don't believe he is cheating on you since you pretty much have the freedom to visit him at work. Thirdly, I don't believe that anything at all is wrong with you. Most men would love to have an active and interested woman like you as a gf or a wife! The small things you do should be enough to entice him into wanting you even more and more often. You are certainly not "crazy" for wanting affection from your husband! Having sex once a week to 10 days would be normal if you were married beyond 3-4 years. I think you have tried to seduce him with words, kisses, and acts to the point where he knows what you want. I don't know what kind of work he does, but he may be physically too tired? How is his general health? Other than that, you should tell him, without the tears, that current results are insufficient and you need more loving in your life. Then ask him what the reason is from his point of view. Short of going to seek counseling, that is the best way to determine the cause of an issue. I could suggest several other things you could do, but I don't think he's in the right frame of mind to being interested, for some reason(s). Good luck!!

Answer 3

If he loved you, whether it is your duty to please him or not, he would respect your wishes and stop. This is messing up your life and your marriage. If it is bothering you as much as you say and he does'nt respect your decision than leave him. Your well being should be the most important to you. But if something is keeping you from leaving like you kids for example or you love him too much and you really want to try and make it work, than you need to try and enforce your wishes somehow. You need to threaten him or give him a good hard slap in the face because what he is doing could be consider rape and rape is abuse and is agaisnt the law. However if you do not want to carryout any of my choices fine.

I hope you figure something out!

Answer 4

Dude has issues that have nothing to do with you, and, there's nothing you can do about them. You have voiced your opinion, now it's up to him to do something about it. But let me tell ya sweetie, this issue is much deeper than you realize. If he shows no interest in changing this behavior, then show interest in sleeping in the next room with the door locked.

AND WHAT PASTOR TOLD YOU THAT IT WAS YOUR DUTY TO DO WHATEVER HE WANTED? I think that pastor needs a pop in the mouth. Let him go sleep next to your rammy hubby

Answer 5

Tell him if it happens again you will be calling the police to file charges of rape. Your not consenting to sex if your sleeping. Counciling if your really serous about this guy. Dump him if your not. He's got a problem and I'm betting you could do so much better.

Answer 6

wow, with all that you offered, I am available for marriage, and you can be awake, asleep, in a coma, dreaming, snoring, I don't care especially seeing your picture. Of course you could be lieing about your ex (if he really is your ex) and just trying to find out what kind of response you get from this forum. His best friend must of had a great time!!!!

Answer 7

wow never heard of anyone like that i'd say he needs to seek help and you should sleep in locked room tuff question,,, good luck

Answer 8

Damn if i didnt know better he's one step away from having a fetish of having sex with a dead person.. YUCK.. very weird , very odd.. behavior..

Answer 9

May be he acting out his fantasy and that's the only way he can get his kick. Anyway i think that's nasty!

Answer 10

pretend to be asleep