well, i have this friend jennifer and she says that she hates hanging out with black people. the only problem is that she is black! i don't understand her. we're apart of the in crowd at school but i also like to have my black friends too. she claims that she prefers to hang out with caucasians because they have a better attitude and she can relate to them better. she says that she just doesn't fit in with the blacks at our school. what should she do? i understand her because she's my friend, but don't u think that this is kind of wierd in a small way. my friend doesn't talk to ANY black people accept me (because we've known each other since the age of 2) and her family. please help!
2006-07-06 07:02:28 · 7 answers · asked by preppy*cheerleader09 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I have a black friend that has said that too. It's kinda weird, but I'm not gonna force him to go socialize with black people, so i guess its really just a moot point
2006-07-06 07:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by Southpaw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
White people answereing this question have no right to condemn her. That condemnation just shows another way white people come to decisions about how blacks should and shouldn't act. I have noticed condemnation on this point is less if it is a white person who shuns association with other white people.
I am black and get along with other black people just fine but I understand why your friend does what she does. Some black people are not very forgiving of behavior that deviates from what they consider to be "black." Such ideas are foolish. I believe your friend has gotten a lot of grief from other black people who have not let her feel free to be who she is. Rather that face ridicule and criticism, it is easier to make a generalization and aviod this group altogether. This idea is also as flawed as the ideas of the more ignorant black people she is avoiding. It does not judge individuals on their merrits and let individuals be themselves. Believe me, in my lifetime I have had more irrational grief from black people than I have white people but I have many black friends because I don't give up on individuals and neither should your friend. Yet her behavior is understandable and is probably a way for her to preserve her personal dignity.
2006-07-08 03:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by agrissom1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being black and white myself, I had to deal with this sort of thing..where do I fit in? Black or white? I think she doesnt want to hang around black people is because a lot of the highschool girls act "ghetto" or theyre just not into the same music or style as she is. It has nothing to do with skin color..just the way they act. She may like rock, they like rap. Its tough enough trying to figure out where you belong...try just accepting her for what she wants. It could also be that she says those things to stay part of your "in crowd". You never know.
2006-07-06 07:08:48 · answer #3 · answered by sooner_buckeye79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it's really not that strange. there are some of us who are so uncomfortable with ourselves that we can't stand to be around other people like us. i suspect that something happened to her that hurt her very deeply. it may be something that you don't know. or it may be something that you do know but didn't realize it affected so negatively. for some reason she doesn't trust black people and she doesn't like herself for some reason. i don't know what you can do to help her since you have known her since you were 2 and you still don't know why she is this way. maybe you could convince her to go to counseling. be careful though, you know how we get. (black people don't go to counseling, black people don't do this, black people don't do that, etc.) the one thing i can tell you to do is to continue to be her friend and be there for her. and remember, you can still be her friend and you can each have a separate set of friends that don't include each other. in other words, all of your friends don't have to be her friends and all of her friends don't have to be your friends. hope this helps. good luck.
2006-07-06 07:14:18 · answer #4 · answered by fungirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she has had some bad experiences with people of her own race, she has her reasons and for some reason is guarded. Don't force the issue, you can't change her mind.
Maybe introducing her to some really nice people of color would help.
2006-07-06 07:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by marianlaughs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's a racist lol
2006-07-06 07:09:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
that is stupid!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-06 07:07:00 · answer #7 · answered by 11.21.08 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋