If your parents got divorced, do you think it has affected your views about marriage?

Question

Are you married, single or divorced? How has your parents' divorce shaped your beliefs?

Answer 1

im married and my parents have been married for nearly 25 years..divorce was never in my vision besides the ppl i knew who had been involved in one....i just wanna say that even if ur parents were divorced i dont think it wud make u fear marriage or have an un-healthy one..u might be more cautious and careful not to make their mistakes and thats why i think divorce can be a good learning tool for children to see the affects of bad decisions so when they grow up they will think in their life "well my paremts fought about this and it lead to divorce so im gonna try to not make their same mistakes".

Answer 2

My parents got divorced when I was 9, and I'm not really sure if it shaped or affected my views about marriage. I am currently seperated and getting a divorce, but it had nothing to do with my parents divorce. I think perhaps later in life it made me a bit wary of all of the "true love forever" b.s. I'd LIKE to believe in forever, but at this point in time I don't think many people find it, myself included. However, I will tell you that my parents MARRIAGE shaped my views regarding marriage in general. I never want to go through what my mother went through, and refuse to put my child through the same ordeal that my brothers and sisters and I went through before my parents wised up and got divorced. Divorce is usually ugly no matter how you look at it, but I think that in this day and age it is so common that while it still causes children pain and confusion, it isn't the stigma that it used to be.

Answer 3

It has shaped mine. I used to have very clear ideas about marriage and relationships until my parents got divorced when I was 20 yrs. old. I never thought my parents would get a divorce, but it turns out that my parents are people too with their own problems...and they were unhappy. Now I question the validity of the concept of marriage and whether or not it's even possible, or desirable, to keep a marriage together in this day and age. And, I find myself really freaked out about splitting assets and reading up on Pre-Nuptual agreements.

But, just for the record, I do still want to get married and have a family. I currently have a wonderful girlfriend who I might just pursue all of that with.

Hope that helps.

Answer 4

Good question.

My parents separated almost two years ago and both have new people in their lives. My dad lives with his girlfriend and her daughter now too. They will be getting a divorce.

My dad had an affair with a woman more than 15 years ago and they made it through that. They worked together on building back the trust. I saw that as an inspiration.

My parents were married for 30 years when they called it quits. My sister and I were devastated.

If my husband ever cheated on me (even once), I'd leave.... my view on it now is "why wait 15 years to leave?" If my dad found enough reason to step out on my mom then there was something wrong in the marriage to begin with. Now, I'm more afraid of being married to the wrong man I thought of as being "right" all these years. I don't want to spend 30 years with a man only to divorce him. Yanno?

I'm confused about marriage now. I still haven't worked out all the details as to exactly why yet either.

Answer 5

My parents divorced when I was 10 months old. My dad had already started seeing someone else. It wasn't the divorce per se that affected me, but the relationship I didn't get to have with my dad. I never felt sure that he loved me. I never felt like a priority in his life. Because of that, my husband had to get through a lot of barriers to get to my heart. Even now sometimes I can't believe he actually completely loves me just the way I am. My self-esteem and confidence was damaged a lot because my dad didn't make the effort to have a good relationship with me. My parents divorce made me determined to never get divorced myself. I was so glad when my husband I found each other. We're high school sweethearts and each other's first everything. When we first started dating we talked about stuff like what we thought of divorce, how we thought marriage should be, how we wanted to raise a family. Our beliefs and views aligned with each other practically perfectly and where they didn't, we compromise. Marriage is a sacred institution created by God and it's not taken seriously enough these days. I'm appalled when I hear people say things like "my first marriage was just a trial" or when I hear people get divorced over small things just because their not willing to work on their relationship. God has truly blessed me with a man who love me so completely I can't explain it.

Answer 6

My parents did never divorce...but i tell you what i wish they were.. growing up was hard to live with two people that were obvious not a match..and we had to pay for that.. im married now and when i felt troubled i left him without a second thought he didnt want a divorce i didnt made him..but i told him if you want me back you have to make me happy and right now im not.. so good bye..and i think it worked because my husband change in a very impresive way.. and i know now i made the right choice its what i wanted my mom to do,my dad would have had to change and if not they should have gotten a divorce now they are just this two old people who just happend to live together each in a different room..because they feel to old to start over.. so to answer your question i think if my parents would have gotten a divorce i would have appreciated better... good thing i decided to learn from their mistakes and knew how to handle my own marital problems.. i dont really feel tramautize but my childhood could have been a little better you know what i mean??

Answer 7

I am married and yes my mother's divorcES have shaped my views on marriage. My mom has crappy taste in men. I watched her realtionships growing up and knew how destructive they were. I have had good taste in men. My husband is wonderful. I never looked at marriage as "Well if it doesnt work out we can get divorced" I looked at marriage as a life long partnership between two people who love eachother as they are without wanting to change them. Divorce was hard on everyone involved and I decided before I got married that I would never let my kids go through that because I knew what I wanted out of marriage and because I never settled I got what I want out of a husband and we are very happy.

Answer 8

It is not the divorce that changes your views on marriage. It is how your parents talk and act around each other and even how they talk about each other when the other is not around. This has great impact on the way a child sees the divorce and whether or not it effects them as adults.

Answer 9

Since i was little all i ever wanted was a "complete" family.. husband wife children forever no divorce.. i didnt want a career, or anything but.. and when i had it unfortunately my husband at the time lied saying he wanted it to, cause he went on to cheat and leave me and the kids.. which in turn destroyed all my faith in men and crashed my dreams of wanting that complete family.. I have abandonment issues caused from my mother leaving me, and then my husband leaving only made it 10 times worse for me.. BUT one thing has stayed true.. I still believe in marriage vows and im now married to a great man that believes the same as i do.. unfortunately its a blended family and not one "complete" family that i wanted.. but lucky for me I had a great father and step mother that raised me to believe that leaving a marriage is wrong and that if you take a vow you live by it..

Answer 10

Yes...my parents are divorced and now that I'm a married woman I take my vows and my marriage more seriously...I definatly think that your marriage should be based on trust and love, and friendship.....my parents had the love....but not really the other two. My husband and I work to have a relationship unlike that of both of our parents.....

Answer 11

There are no divorces among my grandparents, parents, and siblings. Yet, I was very careful when deciding who to marry. I saw what it takes to make a marriage work and knew choosing wisely was the key. To me marriage is for life so being careful in who to marry seemed smart.