GUYHELP! I"m dating some1 MY MOM DOESN"T LIKE!!!!!!!?

Question

i'm going out w/ dis really nice boy. i haven't told my mom cuz she doesn't like mi going out, and she's like racist. So i don't kno how to tell my mom i'm going out w/ him, should i keep it from my mom altogether? but if my mom finds out......i'm dead. So how should i tell her?

OKAaaayy ppl!!!!! there's nothin wrong w/ my man. he does do sum stuff he's not suppose to. But that's not the problem. MY MOM IS RACIST!!!!!! u ppl don't believe mi??? she is!!!!!GAWD, i can't live w/ her. wat do u mean i shouldn't do wat my mom doesnt want me to? i'm not racist like my mom, how can i listen to her?

Have him over for dinner? u crazzii? NO ****** WAY!!!!!! HE IS A GUY AND HE IS OF A DIFFERENT RACE! THAT IS KRAZZZIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!! and i'm 14, you guyz say i gotta obey my mom's rules, but that is like obeying my mom's racist views, mi and my boy hav LOTZ in common.

somebody asked wat race my man is, well, he's black, and my mom thinks all black guyz rape gurls. no, i can't see him in skool, cuz he got kicked out, and goes to some juvee skool now.

Answer 1

if your between 12-16..shut up. if your over that...i say do waht you want.

Answer 2

Whether your mom is racist or not, your guy is not a good influence on you. I am black so don't try to pull the race card with me. I also have a fourteen year old daughter. I would prefer that she date within our race but if she chose not to, then I would want him to be a law abiding, educated, Christian, respectable young man. At 14, you don't know what troubles lie ahead of you if you insist on surrounding yourself with negative people. You say that this guy has done some things that he shouldn't have and has been kicked out of school. That's not promising! If you were my daughter, I would do everything in my power to sway you in another direction. For starters, 14 is too young to be actually dating. Talking on the phone is okay. Company by 15. Dating by 16 if you have good grades and show good judgement. Slow down sweetie. There's so much more to life than what you see right now. Even if you try to keep this a secret from your mom, she will eventually find out. We always do. I just hope that she's not too late. DANGER could be close to you. It sounds like you've got yourself a THUG, and take it from a grown woman in her thirties, there's nothing cool about THUGS. They may seem sexy and exciting initially, but unless you want to be a hoochie or a hoodrat, you need to bypass.

Answer 3

Under normal circumstances I would tell you to do what makes you happy.
Here's the thing: You're mom may be racist and that may be the reason that she doesn't want you to go out with that boy.
BUT that might not be the real reason. I personally am not sure that you should be seeing this boy. I don't think that there is anything wrong with seeing a black boy (I am in an interracial relationship myself), but this particular one has gotten himself into some trouble (you said he's in juvie) and on that basis might not be the best person for you to be seeing.
I don't know anything about the boy except that he's off to a not-so -good start in life. If he continues to get into trouble you could end up stuck raising children all alone while he's in jail. This might be what your mom is thinking, and the basis for her dislike of the boy.
Lastly, you are still very young and need to be very carefull about the choices you make. You have a long life ahead of you and don't want to screw up your future.You'll have plenty of chances to go out with boys when you're a little older.

Answer 4

First of all, you don't have to be racist like your mom... but you should not bring anyone home while you are living in her house if she would not approve of that person.

Furthermore, if this guy is kicked out of school and living in juve land, he is probably not that great of a guy and your mom probably wouldn't like him even if he were the same race. I'm black and I wouldn't date a trouble-maker like that... I don't care what color he is.

Anyway, at the dear age of 14, you should be concentrating on your education and leave the boys alone for a while.

Answer 5

You do have some issue your mom!! Start speaking up for yourself. When you disagree with your mom, make sure you have valid point. Here's one way to break your mom. Start talking about the guy you're dating, never mention what race he is. Make sure your guy sound real nice, easy to be with, and all the feelings that you have for him. Also the thing he done for you. That should melt your mom's heart. If your mom ever ask what race is he, just simply brush it off and tell her it doesn't matter to me. And then ask her does it matter to you? Keep that up for about a month or two, then your mom may want to meet him. Introducting him to your mom isn't a good idea yet. Have your guy come over to your front yard or hang around your neighborhood. Make sure your mom have a glimpse of him, then break it down to her. Good Luck!! I'm that guy that went thru this before. My father-in-law used to be racist. He gotten to know me better thru the year. That goes the same for my brother too.

Answer 6

I was a teacher...trust me...if the guy did enough things to get kicked out of school, whether black, white or purple polka dot...he has a lot of problems...No, I do not believe he is a good guy tho he may change later...a few do...but WAIT...You don't need this kind of problem at your age...LISTEN to your mom...No matter what you think, she loves you & wants only the best for you...Are you a little rebellious yourself...Don't be...You are going to make more problems for yourself & cause you family a lot of grief. THINK about what you are doing...then decide if you really want all the trouble this might lead to or do you want to wait for a better friendship & life? It's your choice...& it is an important one.

I speak not only as a teacher who has seen a lot of young teenagers expelled from school because of bad behavior (they are always given a chance to change the way they act in school, but many don't seem to do so), but also as a mother whose only daughter started acting out when she was twelve. It did not get better...from a super neighborhood, she choose people whom I never met from another section of town, changed her way of dress to look 'cool', got into the drug scene, ended up in the hospital several times, OD'd...came as close to death as you can without dying, continued with the drugs, etc. It didn't nearly, but did break my heart into a thousand little pieces. I have cried buckets & buckets full of tears. She is doing much better now, but is still making not so good choices.

You think that won't happen to you, but I see all the possibilities.
Do yourself and your family a hugh favor, run as fast as you can & don't look back. You have a whole future ahead of you. Don't ruin it because you are in a hurry for 'life'. Life will still be here...you want to get prepared for the very best life you can. Please...
And remember even tho I have only met you through a question on Yahoo, I have worked with a lot of young people your age & really loved them...that love flows over to you & I will definitely keep you in my thoughts & prayers, Much love, Nala.

Answer 7

Certainly all parents do not want their daughter in the future after married will be in difficulty and unhappy..Our parents want to know the will be son in law whether :
1)He comes from the same race and culture or if he comes from the other race they want to know whether he and his parents can appreciate each other habit and culture
2)He comes from the family who have a good moral and same religion
3)He has a good education and it is better if he has an employ- ment with a bright future in his position
4)He has a good attitude,polite and no drug addict,no drunk,no gambling etc
5)his ancestors have a good reputation, in their position in the society
It is better if you introduce your bf to your parents.You should speak to your parents frankly that your bf is a nice one.Tell them that being a racist in the modern society is not fair.You do not play a back street.But if you are affraid your parents wiil be angry with you,please try to contact someone who has an important role or influance to your parents to be as your intermediary. maybe your grandfather or your parents' religion teacher.Give your intermediary the honest whole pictures of your nice bf.and his family.But you must give your explanation in an objective manner.If you love him very much only because he is very handsome,I am affraid you are not objective to see all positive and negative factors of your bf.You must collect the information from your bf and from his family and his best friends and other source.Do not accept a one sided information about your bf.You must select your incoming information and think it carefully whether it is true or not.

Answer 8

you are 14 years old and have a great deal to learn. Listen to your mom. She is a lot smarter than you may think. A 14 year old should be going out with lots of boys and girls and having fun. What is this dating business? Study in school and keep out of trouble. The guy you described doesn't seem to be a winner....not to me anyway.

Answer 9

Honesty is the best policy. If someone is racist you cannot change them however you can show them how you are a better person and do not look at a person just on the outside. Always rise above the situation and do not hide it. If you hide it, it looks like you are agreeing with her racist ideas.

Answer 10

well he got kicked out of school for a reason. Juvee is bad and so are the people their. Look your 14 dont conforme to racism but dont get to attached to a guy who is in that much trouble. Its a good i dea to try to stay withsombody who is not in trouble with the law.

Answer 11

If you have to hide it from your mom, you shouldn't be in that relationship. It may not seem like it now, but your parents really do know (well most of the time) what is best. Is it really because she is racist, or is there something going on underneath? Such as, is he into drugs, or other "bad" behavior?