I'm Baptist and my boyfriend is Catholic - We're talking about marriage?

Question

We have been together for almost a year and talk about getting married a lot - but, because he is Catholic. If we are married in the Baptist church, his marriage will not be recognized as and official marriage in his church. I am willing to explore Catholicism in the future, but my grandmother's have passed and I would like to be married in the Baptist church to honor them. Any suggestions?

He is not asking me to choose - and I was raised Baptist until my grandmother's passed - and then my parents just sort of stopped taking me to church. I was not baptized. We love eachother very much - and have not viewed this as a "choose mine or yours" kind of thing - we just know it is something we need to think about.

Answer 1

---Answered by a Catholic---
Here is the straight stuff (no fuzzies just the yays and nays)

Well first, you cannot have 2 ceremonies or be married outside of the Catholic Church. The sacrament would be considered invalid, ie you would not be married and your boyfriend would be barred from the sacraments.

Canon 1127 §3.
It is forbidden to have another religious celebration of the same marriage to give or renew matrimonial consent before or after the canonical celebration according to the norm of §1 [i.e., the Catholic wedding]. Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the Catholic who is assisting and a non-Catholic minister together, using their own rites, ask for the consent of the parties.

Secondly


Essentially you would be marrying into the Catholic Faith. Mixed faith marriages can be tricky especially if one of the spouse is more into their faith than the other. Do not be surprised if the religious differences become more pronounced over time. It might not be important now, but after children enter into the picture and raising them Catholic becomes a reality, it can get rough. Contrary to popular opinion, raising your kids in dual faiths tends to create agnostics/atheists not more religious people. That is why the Church insists that her children be raised only Catholic.

The Catholic Faith has some guidelines to happy marriages and to help foster the spiritual growth of the married couple.

First Catholics are allowed to marry non-Catholics, (first though you need to get the local bishop's permission for a mixed cult marriage. It is easy talk to your parish priest.) I highly recommend that you and your boyfriend sit down and read the book of Ruth and the Song of Songs (Canticle of Canticles) right away. That will give you a basic scriptural understanding of how important marriage is and how the faith question is resolved.

Here is the basic list to get the ok to get the dispensation of cult,

1. Have to go through Catholic marriage prep.
2. Be willing to practice the Catholic understanding of marital relations (ie no condoms).
3. Be open to having children when God gives them to you.
4. Understand and accept that the marriage lasts until the death of the spouse (no divorcing and remarrying while the spouse lives).
5. Promise to not try to convert your spouse away from Catholicism.
6. Promise to not impede in any way your spouse's obligations to the Catholic Faith and the growth of their spiritual life.
7. Promise to have your children baptized Catholic within a few weeks of their birth.
8. Promise to raise your children in and ONLY IN the Catholic Faith.
9. Promise to not impede in any way your children's obligations to the Catholic Faith and the growth of their spiritual life.

There are other issues but the priest through marriage prep will deal with them.


A NOTE: If your local priest doesn't go through the above numbered steps during the marriage prep, he is not up on his duties and it would be benefitual to locate a better priest. At the time of marriage, not believing in those things brings into question the validity of the marriage especially if one, either openly or in secret intends to do directly the opposite.

To learn more about the catholic faith at a very easy level please see

http://www.scripturecatholic.com
http://www.catholic.com

Answer 2

I can tell you that his getting married in the Catholic Church is a BIG thing. Even if he is not practicing Catholic that much now (I don't know if he is or isn't), it becomes very important if kids come along.

First of all, there are several sacraments that happen during childhood, starting with Baptism. It is important for Catholic children to be welcomed into the Church during the baptism, one of the sacraments of initiation.

I can pretty well bet that your then-hubby will begin to take the kids to mass ( a good thing!). It is great if you are together during mass.

When they start school, it will be a question of Catholic School or attending PREP (CCD). This leads to communion (2nd grade) and confirmation (6th or 8th grade).

Then, there will be other choices that involve your faith...

So, as you see in the Catholic Church, the sacrament of marriage is but one of the sacraments that will be important in the next few years.

If you have a Baptist minister, that may honor your family but the priest will be needed in order to make a Catholic marriage. The priest could go to the Baptist church.

Still, remember what's coming after the wedding. Be prepared to fully embrace his faith as well as his love!


Also, be careful of the Catholic myths -- Catholics do put scripture first and LOVE the Bible. You may want to investigate Catholicism through the R.C.I.A. program at your boyfirend's church. They do NOT pressure you to convert. You can attend classes for quite a while, learning about the faith up until the time comes to decide. Then you decide for yourself if you want to proceed with conversion. if the answer is no, you will no that much more about the REAL world of Catholicism and be able to get all your questions answered.

I wish you well!!!!


Blessings!!

Answer 3

I am Baptist, and my husband was raised Catholic. You will find some differences there, but nothing that can't be overcome with lots of patience and communication. Find out what you agree on with the religeous standpoint, especially when it comes to children. My husband and I have been happily married (some days are a challenge) for 14 years this November. I got to see him baptized in the church back about 9 years ago. Our children have been raised Baptist.

Answer 4

This sounds like a case where you won't be able to please everybody, no matter what you do.

Being married as a Baptist to honor the memory of your grandmothers is nice, but what do you plan to do about the religious instruction of any children that may come? Perhaps you should be married under the aegis of whichever church you would also raise your children.

Speaking as a veteran of several campaigns, I'd suggest that the two of you decide now what your religion is...you should have one (and only one) in common. I honestly don't think God much cares, but you can be sure that your relatives do.

Answer 5

Well I think the Catholic religion is a stronger religion plus he's the man but you could always do both and just have a second private ceremony at the Baptist Church after the big shabang at the Catholic Church to keep you both happy.

Answer 6

My family was raised Baptist but two of my siblings married people who were Catholics. They are awesome.

How about marrying in the Catholic church and having your pastor/preacher be a part of the service? That's what one of my siblings did and it was great and seamless.

Or marrying in the Baptist Chruch and having the Priest perform the ceremony.

Or having the ceremony in a neutral place and having both come and do the ceremony together.

Answer 7

First, make sure you both will stand up for each other in the face of each other's family. Second, I would have an outdoor wedding or choose a site on neutral grounds. Further I would consult a priest and a pastor from both denominations to do the ceremony together. What others are not telling you is that this can be done. Have the priest and pastor talk about how to do it. They already know how and will not stop in your way. And both will recognize your union. End of story.

Answer 8

A person's faith is the guiding light in everything they do! How can you so easily lay what is your faith to the side? Or maybe this is a good time to reveal/discover what you truly do believe. Trust me as a minister, there is a significant difference between Catholicism and Baptist. You need to be very clear in the faith you choose to live by, it effects decisions throughout your life. Why is he not willing to change to your faith? Why do you have to make the switch?

By the way, God sanctioned marriage, not the catholic church....the commitment you make is in His eyes, that , my dear, is a much higher consideration than some man-made denomination such as catholicism! Think about it!

Answer 9

Well im southern baptist and if your family is like mine they are very close and deeply religious and my g/f and I will be getting married soon and I wouldnt think of having anything but a southern baptist wedding even though her family is a membber of the church of christ. Yeah I guess you could have two weddings but lets face facts who has that kind of money to blow on two wedddings. The only answer I would say is to have a preacher and a priest marry you in one ceremony.You know how southern baptist granmas are. Lol just do whats in youre heart. God bless

Answer 10

You marriage can be blaessded by the catholic church in a seperate ceremony the next day. Get amrried at the baptist church on a saturday, then on sunday morning schedule to have it blessed by the priest at the morning mass.