How do you abstain from cheating on your spouse. Even if the door is left wide open?

Question

By leaving the door wde open i mean that my best friends wife is enjoying and encouraging my flirting and etc. For example this tuesday myself, her and her husband were at a local lake swimming with our kids (they have 2 and myself and my wife have 1). Even with him only a few feet away we did everything but have sex, and she made it very clear that she wanted it to contiue into more. PLEASE someone give me some advice

Answer 1

Fighting sexual temptation is contrary to our reproductive instincts; we're designed to yield to that pull. The only solution is too flee the situation where that temptation is present. This probably means that you can't remain friends with that couple, but the relationship _may_ be salvageable. It's up to you to determine that. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you try to talk this out with the woman while the two of you are alone. That's just putting yourself in a situation where you're likely to give in to temptation.

Answer 2

Your best friend and his wife obviously do not have a committed relationship, they have an arranagement. If you want an arranagement, get a divorce and create one - up front, not behind someone's back.

Why would you let this woman ruin your life so that she can feel like she is attractive and powerful? She is not thinking about your happiness, your wife's happiness or the future happiness of her children or yours. Are you? Are you thinking about anyone except you? Marriage implies that your primary focus is the happiness of your wife and children.

Work on whatever's really bothering you.

You get decide if you want to throw away whatever trust and commitment you have with your wife, if you want to throw away your child's happiness and sense of well-being for the intense but temporary thrill of extra-matrial sex. If you are willing to accept ALL the consequences of your actions, then by all means indulge in illicit sexual pleasure. If you do, then you must be prepared to live with the unhappiness it will can cause you and everyone you love. Secrets have a way of coming out into the open and destroying lives.

Answer 3

Wow....that's hard to say..... I myself am just engaged and already getting cold feet thinking of giving up my flirty lifestyle- I say you need to have a talk w/ your wife, make sure being together is what you BOTH WANT. b/c ultimately if divorce is necessary, then the sooner the better so your kids aren'ttoo affected later on. BUT make sure if the divorce happens, you stay prominent in your child's life. That's the onnly way the kid won't be screwed up in life in having a "broken home". If you're interestred in your friend's wife, then obviously thinking things over is the best thing you can do right now.

good luck, and I hope I helped some.

Answer 4

Shame on you. Letting your harmones get the best of you. If you weren't ready for marriage or children you shouldn't have got involved and people other's people lives at a possible halt due to your selfishness!!! As a grown man, I assume you are grown, you should make adult decisions. If you wanted to explore and not settle down marriage was a MISTAKE and should be a REGRET. Divorce your wife, tell your child what a bastard you are and let them move on. It wouldn't be nice if your wife was doing the same would it? Tell the lady that you are knocking boots with to do the same as well. She's a whore!!!

Answer 5

everything but sex is still a form of cheating. Where the hell was your wife when you went on this little trip? If you love your wife and kid at all or value your friendship with that ho's husband, you had better not accept anymore little invitations unless your wife comes along. And, I'd warn your friend about his slutty wife, don't you think she might do that to his other friends too. What a disease collection she must have. women like that make me sick! where is your will power ? can't you say no to a nasty woman like that. yuk

Answer 6

So let me get this straight: you have a chance to cheat on your wife, and so you can't stop yourself from doing it? Oh, poor you, succumbing to the seductress, beyond your control!

Please. Once, a friend of mine (she and her husband are friends of ours) hit on me at another friend's wedding. Did I start flirting? Did I go through that "open door"? No, I respectfully and quickly made it clear that her advance was unwelcome, then told my wife about it immediately.

This door is open because YOU opened it. When someone else advances on you, your job is to close it, because you love and respect your wife.

Now, if you have other issues with your wife, talk to her about them, but make no mistake: if you go through this door, it's YOUR decision, YOUR fault and YOUR responsibility. Knock it off.

Answer 7

Oh the temptation is soooo strong..something new, something exciting..but is it greener on the other side? Weigh the odds. Count up the pro's and con's of your relationship...is it worth losing your child? Do you want your child to go through custody battles? Is this thing with the other girl going to last once the fire burns out? Its something new and different. Are you willing to suffer the consequences if it doesn't work out? Ask yourself all of these things before dockin your boat in someone elses waters.

Answer 8

You'd be making a seriously bone headed move if you take this further. Your best friend's wife can enjoy anything she wants, she knows what she's doing. And if she's smart enough, she's not losing her man over this. Worst case scenerio, you do this and you get caught - don't be suprised if she flips the script and says that you tried to put it on her.
You need to start using your big head on this one, my boy: think about what you would be risking: your marriage and well as your friendship. Don't do it!

Answer 9

Don't do it. There are kids involved. It will hurt them more than you and your wife. You and your wife will always be parent to your kids but you may not be married much longer unless your wife is a very forgiving person. therefore, you may only get to see your children once a week or two weeks. Not worth it.

Answer 10

First in formost you can't abstain if you WANT to do it. In my opinion you have to not want to do it to be able to abstain. In this situation think about how you would feel if that was your wife carrying on like that with your best friend almost in front of you.

There are many doors...this wont be the last I guarantee. But honestly, sounds to me like she is a looser carrying on like this infront of him and at a public place with kids around.