Is it normal for a husband to be nervous about trying for a baby? Is it normal to be afraid?

Question

My husband and I have been together for 5 years, we decided to try for a baby in less than a year. When I talk about how I am excited he gets nervous and looks stressed. When I asked him why he was upset he said he is excited too but a baby is a life long commitment and it makes him nervous about money.

He said he wants to make sure we have enough money because that’s mainly why he is nervous. We are paying off our home mortgage before we start trying for a baby so he feels better about the added expense of a baby.

Is it normal for husbands to worry about paying for a child and scared about becoming a dad?

Answer 1

Yes, it is normal and a very good thing. It's better for your husband to be nervous and trying to plan ahead than just going ahead wrecklessly. Having children is a big responsibility and it sounds like your husband wants to make sure that he is able to do a great job. I think that is terrific. I also think its a good thing that he is able to tell you about his concerns. Sometimes men have trouble expressing their fears.

I hope all goes well.

Answer 2

Even though I've never had the experience of fatherhood, I would think that it is normal for a husband to become nervous at the prospect of having a baby. It is something completely new to him; he doesn't know what to expect. He may even feel that he would be inadequate/not good enough as a father. However, in rarer circumstances, this may also be a red flag because it could be signal that he is not ready for fatherhood which could mean that he could possibly run out on you and the child after it is born. It's been known to happen. What you need to do is have a sit down talk with your husband, making it clear to him that you are concerned and unsure about his feelings of anxiety. Once he sees that it is upsetting you, hopefully he will be more honest and forthright about the true nature of his concerns. Good luck, love!

Answer 3

Definitely! And it's normal for women, too. Kids are a huge responsibility and a huge expense. And he may also be worried that adding a baby to the mix might change the relationship the two of you have since the baby will need so much attention and it's hard just for a couple to get out alone together without baby.

Answer 4

Yes indeed...........and feel happy that he has these feelings, as it means he wants to be a good parent. Plus, I feel if he is thinking these things then you both will talk about it and make sure there won't be financial woes later. A child is a major lifestyle change and men sometimes worry that it will change more than just the financial situation, which it does. He has had you all to himself for 5 yrs and it might be a reality check that you will be occupied with another love and will be tied down alot more. Plus, raising a child to grow up and be a happy, successful, etc. person may feel like a huge responsibility. None of us know what it will really be like until we do it.......the good thing is that his nervousness means that he wants to be a good father!

Answer 5

absolutely - it is a change and the mom or dad can get nervous or worried at any time. This is okay. It sounds like you are trying to see your hubby's side and agree to wait until the house is paid off. If you are looking to ease his concerns a bit, if you are willing, you can have a baby -which does cost a lot- without it putting you in the poor house. You can buy things on ebay for cheaper then in the store, you can go to a used clothing store and get kids clothes (they outgrow it so fast and get messy anyway), I asked for baby items like the crib, pack n play, etc as Christmas and birthday presents, plus you get lots at the baby shower. You could also agree to not always buy name brand clothes (just for the special occassions) for your child and to buy the necessities and find ways to cut some of the down - this might help to ease his nerves. Also, this site might help some too

http://www.babycenter.com/baby/dadsbaby/index

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/baby/dadsbaby/3598.html

I hope these help some! Good luck!

Answer 6

I know mine was. He never wanted to talk about the subject and got nervous when I would bring it up. As soon as I found out I was pregnant he was so happy and now that I'm 3 weeks away from giving birth he can't wait. He wants to see her now and see who he has been talking to and feeling move. It is very normal, just like the fact that you will probably panic sometime during pregnancy about the fast that it won't just be the two of you anymore. Good luck!

Answer 7

Ok, Yeah it normal for me too I am a guy. and I was scared like hell. Yeah worry about money, food, don't know if I am going to be the best father or what if i get mad and hurt my child or what if..... I told my wife I didn't want no babies and Some how she told me and I was shocked but same time I was happy. Watching her tummy grow and grow and by the time comes. I freak out and not ready.

when the baby fainally arrived and watch baby come out and i was shocked and not pass out.. not sure if your husband will passed out (LOL) and it changes my life I love my daughter and glad that she was born and glad she in our life. now son born oh god worst thing for me becasue no father experince for me and my son. No Father in my whole life. and I found Dad again and we bond and I learn so much and now I love my son.

There a book called Wife going to have baby things you should know about your wife. It funny it lose up and break the ice.... it worth it. 100 percent. I hope that help don't give me point until he read the book and let me know. thanks. it is [e-mail] if need to know smile.

Answer 8

Thank God he is! Remind him that this very anxiety is the one that will make him an excellent father and provider. Don't talk it to death while he is feeling anxious you just make matters worse by baby babbling all the time. You have set your priorities and may restate them from time to time just to reassure each other that you are still on the same wave length but just enjoy each other until the time is right. It is as normal for him to worry prior to the child's conception as it will be for you to be concerned about the child after it is born.

Answer 9

It is normal and your husband has a good head on his shoulders to understand that with a child comes a huge cost. It's a good dea to pay off the house before trying to conceive.

Good luck and remember he is doing this for the benefit of the whole family.

Answer 10

For sure, especially if he brings most or all of the income in.
Not to mention other issues like fertility if it would be his first child.
Its absolutley normal for husbands to worry about children ahead of time, usually the wives have more of an emotional approach to it only, which can make a husband even more nervous