my girlfriend and i have talked alot about having kids of our own. recently, though, i've been asking myself if having kids--both of us being girls--would be in the best interest of children. we both love kids and i know we'd be great mothers but i'm wondering if anyone out there has any experience on this subject?
2006-07-06 05:39:58 · 34 answers · asked by mary. 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
alot of people have grown up with same gendered parents. it might be different depending on the sex of the child. but i think love is love whom ever it comes from. atleast there will be another open minded tolerant person added to the world. good luck to u and ur decision :-)
2006-07-06 05:43:29 · answer #1 · answered by ayleyha 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
All I have to say is this, setting aside the fact that you're both women comfortable being together, which most in life will not be, and children are no exception. Kids can be and will be cruel to another child if given reason and THATs a reason. I know it's not right, I don't agree with it, but kids will be kids. Just keep in mind what the CHILD will have to grow up dealing with and ask one another if it's fair. Not trying to talk you out of it because I think it's great that you want to do this, but I know how cruel kids can be and how unacceptable society is towards things they don't understand. But that's just my two cents worth. Good luck!!
2006-07-06 05:46:09 · answer #2 · answered by stepmomster22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i knew a guy in high school (this was about 5 years ago) who had two mothers and it didn't seem to bother him. He grew up with them since he was 8 (and i knew him since we were 10) and he said it just felt normal. Nobody really ever gave him crap for it and all the people who was friends with him didn't care either. Every situation is diffrent but the bond that is formed between caring parents and their children is always strong.
It is my belief that if a kid is in that type of family situation that early on they just see it as having 2 mom's. Now, everyone is diffrent and some kids might grow up wondering where the father is but that is true in any any adoption or divorce or any situation where one is there and the other is MIA. My dad left before i was born and i never held that fact as leverage in a fight against my mom or step dad (but i'm not sayin that i never wanted to meet him or wanted to know about him) because i respected my parents. Even to this day i have never met my biological father.
And i'm sure that as long as you are open with your child, he/she should be fine.
I saw it as having two parents that loved me and took care of me. That's it. They could of been 2 dads, or 2 moms, it wouldn't matter. and i don't think that it will matter to someone that loves you and you love. Just be open about everything up front. Lying will do nothing but hurt both sides.
WOW, i sure do talk a lot.
Hope that helps you some.
2006-07-06 06:00:52 · answer #3 · answered by matt_archbold2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a good friend growing up who was raised by his natural mother (dad and mom divorced when he was very young) and his mother's lover. We are from a very, very small town. It was a little difficult for him when he was young but as a teen, his life was totally normal. The worst were not the children but other adults. If you live in place where the adults are more accepting of your lifestyle I think you will have a lot of success. I also grew up with a girl who was the product of a sperm donor and her two moms. When she was 7 her other mother went through with a pregnancy from the same donor. That was cool for her because she had a real half sister. I wish you all the best. Remember to check adoption agencies. There are lots of babies who need love. Good luck.
2006-07-06 05:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by Dillon's Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel the relationship and your finances are stable enough, and you both are absolutely sure you want to take on the challenge and responsibility of having a child, then you're probably ready.
My cousin and her partner made terrific parents. No child has ever been happier or more loved.
But, as I would recommend for all potential parents, please consider adoption. There are *so* many children in the world right now who desperately need loving parents.
Good luck, mom!
2006-07-06 05:48:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I know there has never been any sort of study proving that same sex parents is detrimental to the health of the child. However you may want to consider living in a state that will grant both of you legal rights as parents, not just one of you.
Heck, the people on that MTV show Real Life"i have same-sex parents" all turned out perfectly normal.
2006-07-06 05:46:02 · answer #6 · answered by xoil1321321432423 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing for kids is to have adults around that love them. It isn't a bad idea to have a number of good men around since any child has to know how to related to men. It is much more important to do things like read and otherwise stimulate them intellectually than it is whether there are two people of the same gender changing the diapers.
2006-07-06 05:43:06 · answer #7 · answered by mathematician 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rosie O'Donnell made a fabulous documentary recently called "All Aboard!: Rosie's Family Cruise" where she rented a cruise boat out and did a cruise for gay couples and their families....it was one of the best things i have ever watched...the same-sex families were such wonderful people who have great children who are no different from any other kids i know, except that their parents are the same sex...i would suggest watching this just so you can see for yourself how happy these families are and how great these kids are.....i would say go for it! good luck to you and your girlfriend!
2006-07-06 05:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by pineappleclock2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as I expected, all the "haters" seem to be lurking and leaving their usual uneducated, bigoted, bible-thumping remarks. Don't listen to them!
my partner and I don't have children, but we have many lesbian couple friends who do. they are happy, healthy and well-adjusted family.
YES, lesbians CAN have kids! and just because a gay/lesbian couple raises a child doesnt' automatically mean they will be homosexual themselves. it's the straight couples that keep having us gay children! I had no gay/lesbian influences at all growing up...and I never even met anyone openly gay until long after I realized I was.
the most important thing is, no matter what gender the parents, a child needs loving parents. and a lot of gay/lesbian parents I've met are more committed and loving than a lot of straight parents I know. (a lot of whom are divorced, separated, etc.)
2006-07-06 06:01:31 · answer #9 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not gay but I have a couple of friends who are.From my point of view , we should not think about our selves only.Is the society you live in ready to accept such a case?Little kids can be very hard on other kids who come from a different back round.Take a piece of paper,write down questions like the ones above and answer them with your girl.Best of luck.Think hard.
2006-07-06 06:19:32 · answer #10 · answered by gina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not experianced but I don't think it would be right.... I don't want to sound harsh or rude but it's just not right. if you relationship was more of a room mate type deal it might work better but for a child to see affection between to women or men is really confussing I think ...ok I have a little experiance...my father is gay and he had male"roommates" when my sister and I grew up at home he was a single parent.
we got picked on alot and I never wanted to bring any friends over to my house because of it.
2006-07-06 05:44:26 · answer #11 · answered by JeNe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋