I want to know how to get my daughters father to give up his rights so my husband can abopt her?

Question

He never calls, never sends birthday card, had not seen her in over 3 years. He does send child support, but I never know when it will come or how much it will be. It could be $60.00 one month and 4 months later it could be $20.00. He will not give up his rights. I have tried to talk to him about it and he gets really mad and hangs up on me. As of right now I have no idea were he is or how to get a hold of him. I just want him to give up his rights so my husband (the only father she knows) can adopt her. Please help!!!!

Answer 1

I would think you could probably go to a court and have it ordered or something.

Answer 2

My aunts and mother were adopted by my grandmother's husband, my gradnfather and the only one I know. They know he isnt biologically the father but he is their daddy and my grandpa. You need to find him and physically take papers over there. Have everything documented. Does he have visitation? Does he take advantage of it? Does he send the money in a check or cash? Did the court order him to pay child support and if so then he should send it through the court.

If he said he has been paying then he needs proof, if you say he hasnt then you need proof. Money orders, checks, credit cards those are proof. Cash is not unless you provide the reciept. So if he pays you in cash the odds are good for you. Write down every phone call, save all emails sent and received, dont cash the checks he sends you and if you have cashed checks or deposited them in the bank be prepared to have bank records available. In all matters dealing with him you need EVIDENCE so write down everything in the event you go to court.

Now if he doesnt want to pay up then you have every right to garnish his paychecks and that means the state takes the money out before he even gets his check, his check is what is left over. Most men are pretty pissed when that happens and will be willing to wager.

Either way you will need a lawyer to draw up all the paperwork and legal terms and so on and so forth. You might have to go to court. Consult with a family lawyer that can give you the best advice and odds of freeing your daughter from a deadbeat father. It sounds like she has a good dad.

Answer 3

I don't know how the laws are where you are, but I do know that here the none custodial parent DOES NOT have to give consent for an adoption. What you do is go to a lawyer, start the process, and run an ad in A newspaper for I think it is 60 days. If said parent does not contact the lawyer within the 60 days then the adoption is signed, sealed, delivered and done. Also, if you don't even know where said "father" is that is considered abandonment. You can file charges and get the adoption that way. Believe me I know, my ex-husband lied and did it to me. Thankfully I was able to prove everything he was telling the judge was false. Good luck to you and your family. I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 4

Well even though he is not there for her the way that he should be and he is not doing as much as he should. He is doing and that is her father. Even if your husband is her Dad as long as her father is willing to be her father I do not think that it is fair for him to give up his rights so that you can write him off and start the family that you envisioned. I also do not think that it is fair of him to be so unreliable and not be there for his daughter. This is a tough situation, I think that I would be upset too if I were a man and was asked to give up my parental rights so that they can be given to another man. Though he is not there and he is not reliable to does not mean that he should necessarily give up his rights. It is not fair to anyone (the situation that you guys are in). But this man is doing a lot less than he should and a lot more than some women can say that the father of their children have done. I think that he is not going to willingly give up his rights and I do not think that there is anything that you can do about it. What I wonder is what will be of him if he does give up his rights? If he won the lotto tomorrow and said here is 2 million dollars for my daughter and I would like to see her every other weekend would you allow that to happen? If he called you and said I am in town, or in the area would you allow him to see his daughter? Is he a threat to her well being, is he abusive? I mean that is something really big that you are asking him to do and I think that it is great that you husband wants to adopt your daughter but he is her father and just as you cannot be replaced by another woman if anything were to happen to you no matter how good or bad of a mother you were neither can he. You are only given two parents in this world and some of us are lucky enough to have a father and a dad. Your daughter is one of those people. I think that it is so sad that people are telling you that you should use going after him for child support as leverage to get him to sign over his rights. I do not agree with that I do not think that is right. I think that if he does not want to sign over his rights then that is his decision and I think that like others have said she knows who was there for her and your husband adopting her does not make him more of a father to her than he already is.

Answer 5

If your child's biological father dose not want to give up his rights there is nothing you can do to make him. I don't know how old he is but maybe later he will realize how important it is to be involved in his child's life. Right now it is good you have a partner who loves your child as his own. Just take it day by day and hopefully in the future he will become a part of her life, no matter how much he makes you mad...it should be kept open that your daughter may have a relationship with her father if possible. Good luck!

Answer 6

Well, this is the only means of control he has over you -- holding onto his daughter.

It probably matters whether he left you or you left him originally... this could determine why and how much control he is trying to keep over you.

And if things were left unsettled or he's mad at you (or still hurt over your marriage), this is another excuse to keep you in tow and on edge.

If you do converse with him, maybe it's worth finding out if he still has grievances against you and what they are. If you can resolve the conflicts of the past or the hurt he is experiencing, maybe he can find it in his heart to sign off.

As far as the rights go, basically the gist is: "You haven't seen her for a long time, you have trouble making payments, and I have the opportunity to make sure she has a stable home and family. This is what would be best for her. She needs this."

Avoid accusing him of bad fathering directly. Although you would be right, if he's doing this because he's angry at YOU over something, this will just set him off and not give you the result you want; keep couching it as "for her benefit" and "easing his responsibility."

State laws are all different. I found a basic PDF below that gives general guidelines, but you will have to contact your state officials to find out what your particular laws are.

Answer 7

why is it so important that her birth father give up his rights? what difference does it make if the man your married to now adopts your daughter or not? It seems to me that your trying to take the last thing that your daughters father has to connect him to you or your daughter. regaurdless of the adoption the man your married to now is raising your daughter and he in her eyes will be her dad. you can't erase the past by giving up parental rights. the man your with now has to realize that he did not father the child, and he may be her dad but he's not her father. no court in the U.S. will force the father to give up his parental rights. have you gone to court yet? do you have support orders? does he have visitation rights? the courts will settle all this and the hearings are held in the residing county of the child in question. you can't force him to give up his parental rights but the courts can make his life so miserable that he'll do it just to get a enforced support order off his back. if you get an enforced support order the money will be taken from his pay check directly and mailed directly to you. theirs no excuse for not supporting your child,and their is no excuse for you not forcing the support that is needed. but if you just ask for money and don't have a court order then he can do what ever he wants. does he work? because if he doesn't he will be made to pay the lowest support about $25-$50 per month depending on where you live. and if thats all your going to get maybe it's just not worth the head ache and heart ache. chances are that in the future she will look for her biological father hurting you and the man that raised her. you must look at every angle before you act. the bottom line is that you can't do it youself you must go to family court and force the other party to comply with court orders of support and visitation.
if after all this he does not comply you can return to court to seek further relief. you will need an attorney. good luck & bless you child she is inocent in all this try to keep it that way.

Answer 8

I am not sure why you are getting various amounts of child support. The amount should be court ordered. If he will not agree for moral reasons then maybe you can apply pressure through Child Support Enforcement. He may be willing to give up his rights when they come after him for a steady amount of child support. And always remember that you chose him to be the father of your child and unfortunately now that is haunting you. Also don't talk negatively about him to your daughter as he may some day turn his life around and truly want to be a positive influence in her life.

Answer 9

He should get mad and hang up on you. That man is half of your daughter, whether you like it or not. If you thought he was such a jerk then you should not have jumped in the sack with him. Keep that in mind the next time you talk badly about him in front of your daughter, if you do. If your having trouble getting the child supprt then go to court and mandate it. No one is going to help you unless you help yourself. They can make it so it comes right out of his paycheck.
As for not spending time with her on her birthdays or calling her, that may change someday or may not. But you need to let your daughter make the choice that he is a jerk, not you. My father signed over the rights to his first 2 daughters after being berated by his exwife for a number of years and he regrets it everyday. His oldest daughter still, to this day, holds a grudge against him that he gave up on her. Let your daughter make this choice when she is old enough, not you.
Just be glad you have a man in your life that is willing to be a real Dad to your daughter. (because any man can be a father but it takes a real man to be a dad)

Answer 10

Go to court and tell the judge that he hasn't been making timely support payments (Or enough!) and also that he hasn't visited or called your daughter. He'll be served with papers and he can decide whether to give up his parental rights or pay back support. Only he can decide what he wants to do. It's a lot to ask a person to give up their parental rights. If your new husband really wants to adopt her, that could also work in your favor in court. Good luck.

Answer 11

You cannot terminate the natural father's rights without his voluntarily relinquishing them or not unless you can prove he is an unfit parent. His failure to pay child support does not make him legally unfit to be a parent. State law determines when a natural parent is "unfit" enough to allow termination of his/her parental rights and responsibilities without his/her consent to an adoption. Once the standard set by state law (and this varies) for being found to be "unfit" is reached, a court can finalize an adoption even though the natural parent does not consent to the adoption. Fitness to be a parent is measured the child - meaning there has to be no abuse, violence, or neglect. An unfit parent has to be unable to participate in the decisions affecting a child's life. (Note I said "unable" not "unwilling.) And you have to be able to prove this via witnesses, pictures, police records, CPS reports.. if any of these reports on drug use, domestic violence, neglect, child abuse, etc..you need documented and valid proof to prove any of those allegations. If you only have his on-again, off-again child support to use to terminate his parental rights, you are in a losing battle and you may as well save your money. You would be better off going to court and getting a determination on the arrerages on his child support payments and garnishing his wages for payment.