The other day my boyfriend who works 10pm- 7am didn't come home until around 11:00. He was at his ex's house after work. She called him around 5:30 in the morning and was upset becuase her dog got killed by a truck. He went over there and comforted her and hung out with her, her mom, and step-dad. The thing that got me was that he didn't call and tell me what he was doing. His cell phone doesnt work over that way and he said he didn't want to wake me if he called at 7:00 am. I got mad becuase i'm supposed to be his priority not her. I think what got me more mad was that i had woken up from a bad dream about my rapist and wanted him to comfort me and then i found out that he was comforting her instead. I love him and trust him but i got so mad. Am i just being crazy?
2006-07-06 05:19:41 · 15 answers · asked by Unknown_2536 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know she still loves him. She has told me this and said that if she could have him back she would go back with him. But then in the next sentence says that she understands why they can't be together and that they are better off as friends.
2006-07-06 08:02:46 · update #1
if you really trust him, then believe him when he says he didn't want to wake you. if you need to be sure, ask questions. the fact you woke up from a bad dream and he happened not be there to comfort you, what if you just woke and he wasn't there....now would you have a reason to be angry? be reasonable as this will carry you far in a relationship
2006-07-06 05:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by gurrrly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not being crazy but I think the real issue is not that he wasn't home but that you don't trust his intentions with her. Take a moment to compose yourself before you lose your boyfriend and calmly explain why your upset and how it made you feel. IF it starts to get heated then end the conversation and come back to it when you can both be rational.
Was this dog a dog that she had while they were dating or possibly a dog they had together. I mean, he could have gone because of his own grief for the lost pooch and it was something he shared emotionally with her. He might have thought you wouldn't have understood and it was important for him to say goodbye.
Just really listen to his side and take it in and then explain your feelings. Now is the time when you two need to define your boundaries. Being upset because you had a bad dream and he wasn't there isn't fair to do to him. You can not always expect him to be there, placing guilt isn't going to help your situation. Just figure out how to work through the trust issues. Honestly, if you don't trust him, your relationship will not work.
2006-07-06 05:28:19 · answer #2 · answered by Amy B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONESTLY this sounds like he has feeling for her still. I say these's stuff he is telling you ,can lead to lies, watch out because guys try theres best to lies about an ex girlfriend. What u need to do is talk to him once but very clearly, make it sound your going to break up with him , tell him it is bugging u alot, that your not jealous, tell him "u knows its wrong giving out attention to AN EX", if he ask u why, just tell him straight up. AN EX is for a reason,
1. why is he looking out for an ex , if u has a girlfirend
2. he shouldn't care for her as much he cares for u.
3 there is no such a ex girlfriend as friends.
4 YeS there is something going on between them
the dog is not a excuse, she has family that are with her & theres for her.
she doesn't need the ex boyfriend, if he gets mad at u for asking him these questions or it bugs him u telling him this stuff .
then that answers your questions. that means he does have feelings for her, and he cares less about u, so i say DUMP HIM !! your way better off without him. all he is going to do is hurt your feelings & get u mad. good luck
2006-07-06 06:12:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him why you got so angry. Make an agreement that if he is going somewhere else after work, that he calls and at least leaves a message for you, so that you don't worry (he could have just as easily been in a car accident on the way home, you would have no way of knowing). He sounds like a compassionate guy, I think you are lucky.
2006-07-06 05:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing's for sure you have a right to be upset. And you should also tell him exactly how you feel. I understand a lot of people love their pets like humans but to grieve over a pet in the wee hours in the morning come on, a simple phone call would have suffice. She already had support from her family. He really wasn't need there and it's possible she hasn't let go.
2006-07-06 05:40:00 · answer #5 · answered by donise225 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well If you trust him then I don't think you should be upset about this for to long. I do understand to a point why you are angry but I understand why he didn't call you at 7 am. If you trust him being around this girl, and if your sure that she is not trying to win him back then don't try to control him on this. I see so many women trying to control every aspect of there man's life and I personally think that is a quick way to lose them.
2006-07-06 05:25:37 · answer #6 · answered by coconut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well no not exactly she is a little bumed and i guess he's the one thats comforts her in a time of need but on the other hand she should of respected u and have called someone els,and for him tell u where he was going that means he stiil loves u because with those hours he could of gone and not told u but u should not just let him off the hook tell him how u fell and let him now no matter what the hour is he should call u
i hoped i helped
2006-07-06 05:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him the hell out. I'm dead serious. You take a hard line now, you won't have problems later. Training a man is like training a dog or a kid. You pussyfoot around now, he'll pull **** like this for ever.
And P.S., if you are hurt, it's NOT your fault. If you feel something is wrong, ITS WRONG. Never underestimate your gut. Good luck dear.
2006-07-06 05:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You got to sit him down and tell him, your ex is in your past now I am in your future. Make him believe it Tell him if her dog died to send a card, but to go over there especially without you knowing. How would he feel if you went to your ex, and he didn't know about it. I bet he would feel the same way you are feeling right now.
2006-07-06 05:28:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would bet you any amount that her mom and step dad werent there.What better way to forget about a killed dog than having a little pussycat ,right ?
2006-07-06 05:25:46 · answer #10 · answered by bret_bartley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋