Why do so many people think spanking is child abuse?

Question

Maybe that's what they need every now and then. I don't know about you, but I see a total lack of discipline in today's youth. Many of the people protesting against spanking are the well adjusted individuals who got spanked. I'm 29, don't have kids, had one spanking growing up, and I'm curious about this "no spanking" issue. There is a difference between a beating and a butt smacking, don't you think? Your thoughts please.

Answer 1

I absolutely agree. I DO NOT believe in abuse at all. But I believe child protective services has taken control away from the parents. Dont get me wrong. I have friends who work for that agency, and they do alot of good. But today, there are so many kids that threaten their parents with calling them (CPS) if the parent threatens to spank the child. That is just wrong! I got my but spanked plenty of times when I was growing up. Was I abused? No! My parents taught us discipline and to respect other people. Standing in the corner, time out and grounding simply doesnt work on some kids. It seems over the years as control has been taken away from the parents, kids are doing as they please, knowing they can get away with it.

Answer 2

I would like to start off by saying that I believe most of this "no spanking" crap comes from people with no kids. I have 4 children that are very well-behaved and have had a spanking or two. When I first had children I was nervous about spankings because I grew up in a very abusive home and was afraid that I might loose my temper, and I am always watching my actions. It really cracks me up when I see a parent trying to reason with their 2 or 3 year old; as if the 3 year is on the same level. A light swat on the rear usually grabs their attention, and, really, hurts their feelings more than anything. I think spankings are a valid punishement if controlled. I do disagree with spanking a kid in a public setting. I also think that they are inapropriate after a certain age, too. I think I stopped spanking the kids when they were about 5, about the age they have good verbal skills and can understand other forms of punishement.

Answer 3

Yes, there is a diff. A spanking should not be given in the heat of the moment. A parent - and the child- need a cooling off time. Then a discussion of theproblem, and then the spanking. This way the spanking is a punishment, and not just the parent hauling off and smacking the child. My spankings never were more than 5 or 6 swats - and I like touse my hand, so I know how it feels.

Answer 4

Yes, there is a fine line between spanking and abusing. But from what I see these days, those parents who think they are smacking are doing more than that. Like those parents who repeatedly spank their child while holding their hand. You can practically see the child in the air from the hits. Many parents take it too far because they hit the child when they get upset with the situation and children don't learn to change their behavior when they get hit because they understand they did something wrong, they change their behavior because they fear their parents, and there is something wrong with that.

For any punishment to work a child needs to be told what they did wrong and how to change their behavior in future events. If a parent simply hits or even just sends the child to their room there is nothing being learned from the situation.

Answer 5

You're exactly right. I think the reason so many people think it is abuse is two reasons:

1. There are a lot of people who really do abuse their children, and therefore put a bad light on a controlled, rational disciplining of one's child.

2. There were many books written in the '60s that said that spanking damages a child's psyche. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Disclaimer, I have two kids and they get spanked every now and then and they are very well-behaved and well-adjusted.

Answer 6

theres a fine line between punishment and excessive force. ask any cop, its very easy to go over that line. most parents do not know how to punish their children. there is nothing wrong with spanking if it is done immediately after the wrong doing and then followed up by an explanation. many child psychologist say that line gets crossed because parents spank their kids for everything with no explanation. then after that parents use more and more force because the child starts to become immune to the spanking. this is where abuse comes in.

its simple if you leave a mark on your child you have used to much force. on swift spank on the butt immediately after the bad behavior plus an explanation to the child why they received it and making sure they understand is a good way to go.

Answer 7

I for one have not spanked my daughter. I don't think that spanking is an appropriate way of disciplining a child. What lesson will be learned from a swat on the butt as apposed to a 3-5 minute time out where the child can reflect on their behavior? If the parent has to get physical with their child to get them to listen, how is that teaching that child a good lesson? I rarely have to discipline my daughter, mostly because if she is doing something that I disagree with, I divert her attention to something else or if she gets extremely out of line, she goes to the corner or her room to calm down.

Answer 8

The problem today, some parents don't know the limits to spanking, thats why its getting into the child abuse issue.

*I know when I was a kid, I got spanked all the time and I deserved them all. If I made it out alright, my kids will be fine with me spanking their tails when they need it. Time outs and grounding don't mean anything to kids today.

Answer 9

I absolutely agree with you. I am 27, no kids but I have 2 dogs and that is the only way I can get their attention. I also got spankings when I was growing up and I think b/c of that, I didn't grow up a total brat like the kids these days.

Answer 10

it really is different for different cultues. for example, in the black community, spankng is no big deal, u do sumthin wrong, u get a slap on the behind. whippimgs only come when u REALLY act up, and then u know that u deserved it, and probably wont repeat that action. the lack of discipline u see in youth, by which im assuming you meant those making poor choices and doing drugs, stealing and becoming gang members, are nearly always kids who grew up either in a broken family or had none whasoever.