my husband is v possessive. he wouldn't allow me to interact with my male friends. if i ever did and he found out by checking my hp, we would end up quarrelling. but he can befriend gals from internet, email with them and even go out with them. but when i ask him about it, he starts making up stories. and he told me, "the more u ask, the more i will lie about it". he started on a new job and treated 1 female colleague exceptionally well. fetch her 2 n fm work, whilst i have 2 move around on my own. he would chauffeur her kids 2 the doctor when they r sick, but i have 2 bring our son 2 the doc on my own! he started keeping chinese sms shee sent when in the past would delete those chinese sms i send him. they start calling each other DEAR on sms. when i found out about his 'special' treatment 2 her, he made a big fuss about it, n locked his phone 2 prevent my access. when i raised my unhappiness about him driving her around, he told me he might as well sell away his car! any advise?
2006-07-06 05:09:48 · 20 answers · asked by Bella dearie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you asked the wrong question. You should've asked "Why am I so stupid? I tolerate my husbands crap non-stop and if I had a brain I would know he is probably cheating on me."
2006-07-06 05:48:13 · answer #1 · answered by jdscorrupted 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had to go here---we are what twins??? Girlfriend let me tell you this--for 18 years I have been married and in that time my husband went through drug abuse so there was the lies and stealing and the squander of finances---all of which I stuck through to see him well ---he did recover only to later trade it for alcohol and gambling--again the lies and the squandering of finanaces the whole time I kept the kids and home under control even the times he trashed the house because he was in an alcohol freekout-- the kids and I have picked up the pieces over and over --my friends say to kick him to the curb--I love him and he has a mental illness --alcohol abuse is a illness---but the thing with this is that only the person can fix it nobody else can do it for them--and yet I again willing to go with him to keep out family as a whole---Ok enough I say you need to get your own place and fix your life so we can fix our life--months go by he says he is looking and understands what we need---READY FOR THIS?---I find out in the last couple of months he has found a "new" friend--and oh how she is such a nice lady--she doesnt complain ---Helk no she doesnt she hasnt had her house trashed or her heart broken waiting for days for him to come home or worse get a call from law inforcement saying he's dead--He can paint a perfect picture of himself to her how he works so hard and bla bla bla---so he is putting his best foot forward for her because she soesnt know any different----but if he is sneeking around behind your back he will do that to her too
I think that if he has made the rules on out side communication with the opposit sex then you too can have other friends if he pithchs a fit tell him he made the rule you didnt---tell him if this babe is so damn special then she can cook and clean for him that you are better than the other woman---he's a looser for throwing away his family and comfort zone---
I too have made sure of what my husband is up to so I have proof if ever it comes to push and shove--
By the way he is leaving this weekend to his new home--he is going to get a eye opener when I show up and can see this nice lady in his house---he says she is nothing to him --so stop calling her already---
Loving someone is heartbreaking when you dont get the same love and respect back--you will know when you have had enough and you need to move on--you are better than that--
God Bless you on this road of crewl minded husband stuff--it sucks but remember--we are strong women and there is a silver lining in every cloud--find it
2006-07-06 05:42:34 · answer #2 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is cheating on you. Some people when they are doing wrong they take their guilt on the ones they love. Or they are possessive so that their mate won't find out about their dirty work or want their loved one to do some dirty work. If you want to stay then get some counseling. If things are not good and you can't trust him, then back your stuff and move in with a friend or family member, get a divorce and get some counseling. Hopefully you will find some one who will treat you like a queen and not like dirt.
Your husband treats this person way better than you when you should be his #1 priority in pleasing and being there to help.
Good luck
2006-07-06 05:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by sweetsugakb24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U know some people will tell u to live your husband.That wrong.Because yr husband treat like n employer n employee.Just cool down.Maybe u have time u can ask why he do this to u.Just tell him straight how he treat u n how he use to treat other people.Ask him what have u done wrong.But everything mush cool down ok.Ask to take a little bit care about your feeling.B'cos u both husband n wife.Maybe u can do something that he can become jealous.ANYTHING EMAIL TO ME.l'm busy now.keanmui@yahoo.com
2006-07-06 11:19:54 · answer #4 · answered by gen2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it's ok for him to have friends but not you. This is very unfair, and it needs to be confronted. Most of the time when one spouse is constantly accusing the other of cheating can only mean one thing........they are doing it themselves. If he treats other women better than you, then he needs to make a choice, and the choice needs to be made now. You're going to have to think things thoroughly, never act on impulse, and have a plan for whatever decision he decides to make. Best of luck to you......
2006-07-06 05:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get out, because he's being open about his ability to have affairs from his actions. Only, he's not going to change his actions with you because he thinks he can keep you in the state of mind because you've let it go this far. Be prepared to deal with more lies and denial if you confront him, because he's not letting a good thing go in you without a fight.
2006-07-06 05:25:30 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem with my wife. I'm not allowed to have female friends of any assort. And if she finds out then we end up fighting and what not. I get beat down so to speak. Luckily we have no kids. Leave him if talking and ultimatums dont work.
2006-07-06 05:23:24 · answer #7 · answered by joseph c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him straight in his face He can't control ur life and ur frens.. IF HE CAN DO IT .. WHY NOT U??
guys are like these.. there are always on the lookout for new gers...i guessed u just have to once again.. recontact back all ur guy frens and show him that u CAN too have GOOD frens of opposite sex...
2006-07-07 08:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by kopisoh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is very controlling and he needs help. He can't control everything. He obviously has no problem treating you with disrespect. He must feel the need to make you feel bad because he is insecure about himself.
2006-07-06 05:18:28 · answer #9 · answered by cawecm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have already confronted him, but he has already made it very clear verbally, as well as by his actions, that what you feel counts for nothing. it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. leav. don't fool yourself, leave now before it gets any worse. verbal abuse, controlling behaviour will escalate into physical abuse. you deserve better than this. remember, none of this is your fault and you are not crazy. you cannot fix what is wrong with him
2006-07-06 05:34:07 · answer #10 · answered by Ddragonsdottir 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋