what can i do?

Question

my problem started nearly one month ago . my friend went away and left me alone she died. she was like my twin sister.the problem is that i'm in first secondary this year ,and i don't study well becuause i'm always thinking of her.ican't stop i don't .and at the same time i need to concentrate on my studies,so what can i do

Answer 1

Get out there & make some new friends.

Answer 2

One month!! Child you haven't begun to grieve, you're likely still in shock.

I can tell you what will probably happen, but it won't be fun. This is going to hurt, probably for a long time. Your grades will drop, you may even fail a class or two. That's normal, and doesn't make you weak or stupid. You will think about your friend often and you will feel a voiceless pain that echoes through you asking always for an answer that can never come. You will be a little lost sometimes as you forget that she is gone, as you seem to hear her voice or smell her perfume or see her in a crowd. And then reality will return and reassert itself and you realize you were wrong, that it was only that you wanted it so much to be true. Yeah, it will hurt, alot.

But then, after you grow acustomed to the pain (because it never really goes away, but you do get used to carrying it) you get to take a closer look at it. And then you start to remember the good times and the bad, the laughter and the tears. The love given and recieved. The smiles shared. You remember.... everything. If you are lucky this will make you grateful. Grateful that you have all this goodness, even up to the pain of the ending, irrevocably stored and treasured in your memory and in your past. Grateful that for a time that person was there and able to give of themselves to you and those around them. And you begin to realize that you will never loose what they have given you.

What you can do is give yourself the opportunity to feel bad, to experience the grief. Don't hesitate to rely on others, but be forewarned that those with the best of intentions can be the most insensitive. Talking to a GOOD couselor can be helpful to you. Mutual friends, her family, yours, anyone who is sharing the loss, the grief, with you can help support you. They are the ones who will probably understand the best.

Don't read it now, but later, after you have healed a bit, C.S. Lewis wrote a book that might help. It's called A Grief Observed. Right now words won't mean much, not even mine.

It will get better. It will be rough, it will be hard, but it will get better. I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but those can be a source of comfort for some, though it only really takes the edge off.

Don't be impatient for healing, it can take time; and don't let others being impatient for you to heal bother you. Do make sure that you are healing. That at some point later you look back and realize that you feel a bit better and you are traveling uphill, no matter the pace. Laughter is good medicine.

What would she want for you? That is what you should do. Undoubtedly she would have wanted the best of everything for you.

My hopes and thoughts are with you. If you don't mind a prayer, that is there as well.

Galen

Answer 3

Dear one, you were a great friend. A wonderful way to continue to cherish this friendship is to dedicate all your achievements to your lost friend. Try to turn your former relationship into a beautiful memory, because, from what I can see, it is more of a nightmare for you. Think about the fact that she cared for you as much as you cared for her and that she would like you to go on with your studies so that you will be able to live a beautiful life in her honor, not in her shadow. Maybe you should go to church and pray for her soul to rest in peace. Good luck!

Answer 4

First you should definately get some greif counseling. That would be a great help for you. And depending on what school you go to you should check to see if they will allow some time off to deal with your loss. Many schools have programs and are understanding, you will have to check into it and find out. But definately get your self into counseling for some help. If you need to you can always talk to your family and freinds about it that is what they are there for.

Answer 5

You are still in the mourning process. Losing someone who is that close to you is a huge heartbreak. My suggestion to you would be that you consciously set aside time to think about your friend, maybe before school and just before you sit down to study. Living your life is not a betrayal to her. She would want you to be happy and life your life to the fullest. Don't try to forget her, just don't try to forget everything but her. You'll make the adjustment to life without her. It just takes time. I am so sorry for your loss.

Answer 6

Talk to family and friends and get her out of your mind, women come and go.You will find someone in your life, just pay attention to school.Congrats on you wanting to study.Don't worry about women,there not worth you messing up in school.

Answer 7

I am really sorry for the personal loss you have suffered.No words can make you comfortable.

Watch some good movies.Think about her inspirational note.Think how happy she would have been to see you excelling in exams.

Answer 8

Get some help from a professional not yahoo answers.

Answer 9

U should probably try to go to some type of counseling to help you with the grief. i'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

dont worry....u r friend is dear to god ,if u didnt concentrate on ur studies n becme dipressed then wat u can gain?any way she is nw safe in gods hands n nw the rest life is urs...if u spoil ur future u cnt get her back...so dnt get upset pray for her n b back to ur life ...life means this god will not give happiness everytime ..take it as a challenge n live ur life