Would you tell in this situation?

Question

Ok so I am a teacher at a daycare center. We have a family there that has two VERY young children. Mom and dad are a young couple but they are together. Yesterday the youngest was sick. Now last week the older one was sick so the mom kind of knew it might be coming. As the day went on the baby just got sicker and we ended up calling mom. I called mom to let her know that he needed to be picked up and left a message on her phone. Then I called dad. Well a girl answered dads phone. When I asked for him she seemed upset that another women was calling him and said "This is his girlfriend what can I help you with" the thing is it wasnt the mom of his kids...and any doubts that I had that maybe just maybe it was the mom (people sound different on the phone) were confirmed when a couple minutes later mom called back in response to the message left for her.
So in this situation where it is strictly business-not friends-barely acquintences would you tell her that she is being cheated on?

I didnt ask what I should do...I just wanted to hear what others would do.
There is no question in my mind that I handled it the right way.

Answer 1

Personally, I wouldn't get involved in this mess. In the end it will somehow become "all your fault". I've been there, done that way too many times. I try to do something good for someone just because I like to help folks out, and in the end 90% of the time, I am a villan for my efforts. My advice to you this..... "It is good that you never spoke to this woman this day."

Live long, be well, prosper much.

Answer 2

Absolutely not. You need to maintain a professional distance from the situation. The wife may know about the girlfriend, for all you know. She may have a "friend" of her own. The point is, it isn't your business (and I mean this in the kindest way), you just need to worry about the children and whether or not they are being cared for. If you suspect anything is going on at home that is harmful to the children, you should then get involved. It is neither your place, nor your responsibility to advise one of the parents of the other's (possible) infidelity.

Answer 3

I would not tell but somehow insist on the mom calling him, because if it would have been her calling him at that time she would have told she was the gf and she would have said it was the wife, and it would have been out in the open. But, I would not say anything, even though its the right thingto do , its a little risky you only being their childrens day care teacher. Just dont come out with it if you do tell her, I would try something like when the mom picks them up. "I tried to call your husband, but some woman was a little rude to me on the phone".

Answer 4

It is tricky, because you know that it might be a bad situation... but it's not any of your business as the day care runner to get involved in the personal lives of the parent. If you suspected that something was happening that might bring harm to the children, it might be something to get more involved in, but a cheater is not your concern. I would just take care of the kids and leave the parent's personal life to them. You don't know for sure that the parents are together. They might be cordial for the sake of their children, but be on a break or split up.

And actually, i agree with someone above. Maybe on a day when you see just the dad, tell him that you are not trying to get into anyone's business, but that you don't want to say anything to the mother, so you need to know what's going on. If he knows that you are trying to be discreet and AVOID causing problems, he shouldn't get too angry.

Answer 5

no. thats not your place. your a professional. be one. dont' get personal there. what would happen to the work environment if you crossed that boundry. would your company get sued for sticking your nose in someone elses business? if you were her friend and knew her on a personal level and didn't take care of the children during the day that might be different. even if you know her and are starting to get personal, its a conflict of interest. stay out of it if you want to avoid a possible law suit. if i were cheating and someone i dont know did that to me from a place were i was seeking that type of service, i would raise hell with your boss and see to it you had nothign to do with my kids after that. the confidence is broken then. if nothign were still done then i would pull my kids and sue for my money back. weather or not i was wrong to cheat or not. your personal feelings are not the issue

Answer 6

Really not.
If you were a friend or relative, I would say tell her. It pains me to say she shouldnt be told, as usually Im the first to say 'yes tell them'. In this case, however, you really need to keep a professional relationship with the family, which means its not up to you to tell her.

You might want to take dad aside and say 'your phone was answered by your girlfriend, does your wife know about her, I am only checking so I know not to say anything' then accompany it with a suitable glare when he admits to it. ok so this isnt quite so professional, but it might make you feel better.

Difficult to keep quiet, but you must. I wonder how many people will or wont agree with me...


EDIT: oooh many people agreee, so unusual. You didnt actually say what you did do in the end (which im assuming means you did nothing).

Answer 7

Not your place as a business. From a purely business standpoint you don't want to say anything. You would probably lose the patronage.

From a human standpoint, you would probably want to. Personally, I wouldn't take it to the wife. I'd let the husband know that the gig is up. If it got blown open to you, it's only a matter of time before it hits the fan with the wife. Let him make things right.

Answer 8

Certainly not. It's not your place to get involved in the personal lives of this couple. Your place is to provide care for their children when they are at the daycare center. Leave it at that. It may very well be that the young mother is already aware of the situation; telling her what happened when you phoned her husband may simply serve to embarrass her. Leave it alone.

Answer 9

You need to take care of your end professionally and stay out of their personal business....MYOB....it is not your call to tell the mom someone else answered the phone. She may be her girlfriend too for all you know. Don't embarass yourself. Keep you mind on the kids and leave the parents alone to do their thing.

Answer 10

no, it is not your business to tell about a realtionship that is falling apart. Think about what would happen to your reputation at work when others find out you were the source? You will lose a lot of trust in those parents who trust you right now! Before you speak up think how "the stone in the pond, will ripple to the edge"