My boyfrind and I have not had a normal relatonship. We are into a diffrent lifestyle ( BDSM) and I wanted to stop completley when I was pregnant, he did not. ( and he is suppose to be the sub) We started them up again and things went wel for a while . then recently I do want anything not even sex. He has started to compare me to his porn movies. when thids man does not get his way he guilt trips me into doing it and I am miserable. he nows it we stop doing our play time argue about then contiune. Right now my sex drive is gone, he doesn't get it I don't even want to masterbate . I have given so much and given up so much to be with this man and he does seeit , and he claims he is the one who gave up so much ( BULLSHIT) . what do I do?
2006-07-06 03:18:35 · 10 answers · asked by Alicia M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It depends on whether or not you want to continue to have him in your life. You do have the choice of ending the relationship and dealing with him only in dealing with your child. (I'm assuming that he's the father. If not, then you can avoid him all the time.) If you choose that route, you will need a support system to handle him if he becomes a nuisance and to allow your feelings from bottling up.
I, however, would suspect that you are hoping to maintain the relationship. The main rule that I would recommend is that you take care of the most important person in your life, yourself. This means that you have to prepare yourself for his guilt-tripping tactics. This is his form of exerting control over you. (Hey! Who's the Dominant here?) However, he can never take control from you, only you can surrender it. It's not easy to internalise this lesson (I speak from personal experience), but it needs to be done for your own mental health.
I will say that in his defence that he appears to not be satisfied with the state of your relationship, which is why he acts out like this. Given your current lack of sex drive, he is probably starving on that front, and that turns into a form of desperation. This is not to say that you need to give into his whims, but it is something to think about because he is looking out for himself as well.
Here's where your biggest test as a Dominant comes in. Remember that being in a BDSM relationship need not involve play. I would suggest that you not totally stop with the lifestyle and simply be Dominant. This means that you take charge, and if he challenges that, put him back in his place. Who knows, maybe that would be enough to satisfy him. :-)
2006-07-06 18:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You poor kid. The reason you're sex drive is low is because you've had a baby and your hormones are all out of kilter for the time being. You will get back to your normal self, but you sure can do better for a companion than your so-called 'man'. He sounds like a spoiled brat. You need to tell him to get his **** together and get off your back (literally & figuritively) about sex and help you out with the baby, or pack his **** and get out. You and your child are the most important issues for right now. Getting your health and well-being back & caring for the baby are all he really needs to concern himself with. Besides, what's he gonna do when the day comes and all his 'best friend' wants to do is watch him tie his shoes? Seriously, he needs to quit thinking about himself all the time and put your needs and the needs of your child first. If he can't deal, out the door he goes. You don't need that hassle or stress in your life. Good Luck.
2006-07-06 03:37:41 · answer #2 · answered by thatwench 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just wanting to control you and your life. If you don't want it, you don't want it. No means no. This is normal for your sex drive to leave for awhile after having a baby. It changes your body. He doesn't care much about you or your feelings if all he can think about is what he wants. If you have to throw up what you gave up, then your not happy anyway. You should not have to give up anything to have a happy relationship. Assuming these were good things you had to give up.
2006-07-06 03:29:27 · answer #3 · answered by laurelbush28762 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one no girl deserves to be treated like that. U should so get out of the relationship now. It will be better for u and ur baby. Why have a man that's always making u feel like u have to do this or have to do that. U should want to not have to. There are plenty of guys out there that would and will treat u like a woman deserves to be treated. U deserve that.
2006-07-06 03:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by ♫♪♥mï®♥♫♪ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to separate from him. Having a child means a more loving relationship is needed, not BDSM. Good luck. It will be hard either way.
2006-07-06 03:26:09 · answer #5 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alicia.. its quite clear the chemistry is gone between u two...dont waste ur time,emotion and may be money on a clearly unsympathetic man.he is not you love .. i cantell u as a 44 year old married man for 15years..
2006-07-06 03:25:29 · answer #6 · answered by amajeetbanerji 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for one he is an *** hole and you can leave if you dont depend on him or share bill with him. you cant be treated like that i bet you feel like you get rapped everytime you all have sex. next time just stare at him and tell him off a bout how little his dick is and how he smells and how nasty it feel because its so little.
2006-07-06 03:29:04 · answer #7 · answered by gaurdianangelic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make your stand and don't sway.
Are you happy?
If not then is this where you want to be?
It is your life, why not live it the way you want to.
If momma ain't happy, ain't no one happy.
Stick to your guns!
Be strong - women are the stronger sex!
2006-07-06 03:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by Sheila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on leave him if he don;t respect you and he not happy for the things you did for him then you need to move on with your own life
2006-07-06 03:26:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him
2006-07-06 03:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋