My friend is engage to someone who will pretty much ruin her dreams of being the successful women she has worked so hard to be. She is an artist going to grad school with a huge future in front of her. He is a Jock/physical theraphy guy who has a child already from his first marriage, treats her like a daughter since he is older and is quite frankly a little dumb. They met only a few months ago and now she is engage to him. She is crazy about his daughter but is having doubts of responsibilites that she is going to have to go through. No one I have talk to likes him. They think she is ruining her chances for the career she wants. I think since this is her first big time boyfriend she is a little carried away with the whole thought of marriage. How can I be truthful to her without making her mad a me and the rest of us that dont think this will work. Its her life I know but the red lights are flashing of STOP don't go their. Any advise?
2006-07-06 03:17:44 · 9 answers · asked by artqueen5 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
this is a hard decision for you to make but if you really care about your friend you will tell her exactly what you just wrote and say it from the bottom of your heart and tell her to just think this whole engagement thing thoroughly or you can help change the guy, which is highly unlikely
2006-07-06 03:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by jewman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh that's rough. It's always hard to watch a good friend start to fall. I don't know if she'll be receptive to what you have to say, but if you don't try, you'll never know. Take her to lunch just the 2 of you as you don't want her to feel like everyone is ganging up on her. Go somewhere comfortable and tell her your concerns. Let her know you want her to be happy and you'll always be there for her, but you're concerned she's moving too quickly. If she's argumentative or just doesn't see it when you hold the mirror in her face, there is really little else you can do except make it known that if she ever needs you for anything, you are just a phone call away. I know it's hard, but it's her life and her mistake to make if she doesn't want to wake up and smell the armpit that will soon be her husband. Good luck and I hope everything works out.
2006-07-06 10:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you come right out to her and tell her she's being dumb, she's just going to shut you out. However, if you come across as the caring friend, she's more likely to listen. Tell her you think this is moving way too fast and that as a personal favor to you, you would like her to wait at least a year before starting on the wedding plans. If he really is such a creep then his true colors should shine for her during that year. However, if she agrees to this, and decides when time is up that she still wants to get married, then be a friend and support her decision.
2006-07-06 10:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by rocknrobin21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get over the fact you're going to make her mad because you probably will but if she's a real friend she will listen to you. You might want to bring up the point of what you see of how he treats her. A true friend is honest no matter what. She's going to get mad and you have to understand that being truthful is often hurtful to those who don't want to hear it. Just tell her up right and one day she'll thank you for it and realize that you're right.
2006-07-06 10:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by clarnely_2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, she probably already knows what everyone thinks. I think you should let her be. They obviously got engaged for a reason, you don't know how they are alone. Also, if they have a long engagement it will give her plenty of time to realize what she is getting herself into. The best thing to do is to stand by her side and be there when shes ready to talk...
2006-07-06 10:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by gcpom02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of there relationship. If she is smart she will make the right decision. You have a chance of losing your friendship if you don't.
2006-07-06 10:22:14 · answer #6 · answered by the nice one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when one is in love, it is always difficult to talk them out.tell her to be very sure, she is ready to spend the her life with,tell her what you ve observed and let her be!
2006-07-06 10:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by nini g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortuantly, its her choice to make. She will make this choice no matter what you say to her.
2006-07-06 10:28:48 · answer #8 · answered by hatingmsn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be supportive of her. coming out aginst him will only cause resentment.
2006-07-06 10:20:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋