Should I stop being married?

Question

After marriage, my life began being bad. There is nothing like being single. But now I have 2 kids. Wife became another person. What should I do?

Answer 1

Women change for reasons, not for nothing.

If your wife became another person after having the kids, I can only assume she cooped up herself with the kids and you felt neglected. If this is the case, stay married. Try doing things together with her and the kids. Get involved rather than being asked to get involved. Offering help and taking turns on chores can sometimes put a smile on your wife's face and get your wife to feel understood and cared by you. Put yourself in her shoes and you will be able to "see" what she is going through.

When the kids are asleep, make use of these times to chat but not nag and find faults or argue. Let her know how special she is to you from time to time. Naturally, she will soon succumb to your love once again. Patience pays.

Oh yes... one more word of advice... dont even think about channelling your energies with another woman i.e cheating. Once you cheat, it aint gonna be ever the same and no matter what you do gonna get back things the way you ever hope or want... (",)

Good luck!

Answer 2

Oh honey I feel your pain I truely do. I got married and all seemed well. Then I got pregnant with my daughter-I love my children dearly-but they suck the life out of you. Leaving your family is NOT the thing to do. It isnt the children's fault or even the husbands that you are not happy. When you have children you are no long Bob, Dave, Brad or what ever your name is-you are forever known as so-and-so's dad. I am sorry that your wife is not who she was before-she never will be that saucy young thing you picked up at a bar, beach, work, or compound. She is now and forever will be a Mom and moms can be sexual beings-that is what made them Moms in the first place. Are you helping her-or is she the "Single mom in a marriage" What I mean by that is-are you helping raise these kids or are you coming home from work and not lifting a finger to take the kids away from her for even an hour or two. Is she the only one saying "stop fighting" "eat your vegitables" "behave" etc.. if so, then that is why she is a different person. Look over things with the eyes of an outsider-you may not like what you see.

Answer 3

Just because your marriage is coming undone. Don't mean, you have to watch it break apart. Pick back up the pieces, and get rebuilding on it again. Talk and try to work out your problems. For you, your wife, and your children sake.
Then try some therpy sessions, get what help you can, before you think of quiting. Everyone marriage has it ups and downs. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. If someone said, that they have a perfect marriage. Then they are lieing between their teeth.
Marriage come along with a bumpy road. Twist and turns. But also has a straight and smooth side as well. Just like a roller coaster. We get off of it, then we climb back on.
Spend some time with your wife. Have some time to ya'lls self. Have some family days with each other. Just because you hit a bump in the road. Don't mean, you should sit there and do nothing. When there a bump, we go over that bump. To keep going on.
Least try and give it all you can give. Try your best to make it work out. People that want to make it work. Will go thru hell and high water to keep it going. Don't drown in your depression, raise your head up high. Swim out of that deep end, shallow ground that not far away. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Respect the vows u took and stay married.. no one said it would be easy, be a man and own up to the vows even if she's a pain to live with , think of your kids, they deserve not to pay the price for bad choices you made.. Love them enough to try to find reasons to love your wife again.. if for nothing else your childrens sake and hopefully this will only be a bad patch in the marriage and things will get better. Dont give up till you've tried everything.. U need to raise your kids to respect wedding vows, and to be parents that dont walk out on their families..

Answer 5

I don't know, not all marriages wind up bad. Mine is terrific, we've been together 12 years with two kids. The key for us was open-mindedness. I don't get jealous, he doesn't get jealous. I think, too often, people's idea of marriage is too restrictive. We had an open relationship for a while.. it helped us sort things out.

There is no easy answer. I don't know what happened to your wife but definitely talk things out first. Perhaps add a little spice in your marriage? Does she restrict you too much? Don't divorce without communicating and trying some new ideas. Best of luck!

Answer 6

If you are staying together just for the kids, don't. They can sense the unhappiness. YOu deserve to be happy. I certainly know what you mean. I have been married 25 years, i am unhappy, but stay in the marriage for fear of being alone and also because we live a comfortable, friendly life. I wish I had a happy, loving, passionate marriage, but I don't and I miss that. I wish you happiness. I hope you find it out there. But remember, being single is not all it is hyped up to be.

Answer 7

The questions you should ask yourself are: Do you have love for your wife? Do you feel that your marriage could be saved? What is it that you crave about being single???? Make a list of all the positive things she has brought to you and all of the negative.

Although, now that you have children you will never be single again! Your life will not be the same even if you decide to leave her.

Answer 8

Stop focusing only on yourself & what you might be missing out on. Obviously, you & your wife have lost your communication - you need to rediscover your love for each other - away from the kids - and both of you need to let the past, petty things go! Don't walk away from your responsibilities without trying to fix things - you will regret it. You have a wife & 2 kids - many people would envy you. You need to recognize your faults and she needs to recognize hers and both of you can stop the "You did this...I did that...You're bad....I'm good" game. Good luck to you and I hope things get better. If you & your wife decide to separate at some point, just make sure that you make an extra effort to be a good dad to your kids.

Answer 9

You made your bed, now lay in it. Just because you like being single...you should have thought about that before you had kids! Don't make them suffer just because you didn't think things were going to turn out just the way you wanted them too. I guess this is why we are at a 50% divorce rate.

Answer 10

having children changes relationships. I am in a similar situation and my husband just left us 11 days ago. So just think about it carefully when you get married they do say for better or for worse. However don't stay to make it OK for the kids it will just cause havoc on everyone. Try counseling it may work !! good luck