what to do with nosey neighbour?

Question

When the suns shining i like to just chill out in my garden with the missus / kids ect,
But my next door neighbour who is in his sixties is forever sticking his head over the 5 foot high fence being just TOO neighbourly for my liking...i cant go out in my garden without him comming over and talking crap.......if i do some work in the garden hes the guy who stands there watching you telling you your doing it all wrong, sometimes being a little patronising. I just cant relax when hes there. On a couple of occasions hes made a not so nice comment to the wife.Ive fallen out with him a couple of times but an hour later hes back like nothings happened. its not as easy as putting in a higher fence as the dividing fence is his.I dont really want to tell him the problem as im a nice guy and will feel bad doing that.Hes not some lonely old man, hes married and is always out in the street talking to ppl.
any suggestions plz?

Answer 1

Wear headphones and pretend like you cant hear him.

Answer 2

I had the same thing happen to me about 10 years ago. I had 2 small kids and he was just a retired nosey old man with nothing to do but nag me.
I rented from my sister and moved out. I was very tidy and kept my yard nice. He ended up with a married party couple without a lawn mower and no garbage pickup. I imagine he probably wished I would come back. He just drove me nuts. All you can do is try to get along. He probably thinks he is being a father to you. It sounds like he is lonely.

Answer 3

Just be more standoffish. He clearly thinks that he's doing nothing wrong - give short answers and don't engage in much conversation with him. Never ask a question back. An idea might be to go outside to read a book, wait for him to come over and then finish a few sentences before answering him. or you could try giving him helpful advice on his own gardening/life and see how he takes that.

Answer 4

put a tressle on top of the fence if its his tell him you buying some nice plants then got and get some clementis or some other fast growing plant and trail it up the treliss about 2 foot higher than it is now if he start to moan tell him its either some nice flowers or you thinking of putting in some leylandi conifers that will shut him up as the grow 1 foot a year up to 40 ft good luck hope this works

Answer 5

Well, if you don't mind making him mad at you. Take that 5 ft high fence and make it 6. If that doesn't work or you dont want to deal with the expense, try ignorning him and not answering. It'll be tough at first but after a while he'll get the hint.

Answer 6

It is a tough one - but I think you are going to have to bite the bullet and be upfront. Tell him that you do want to be friendly and appreciate the odd chat, but you like your privacy and you find that he is being a bit intrusive. If he then continues you need to tell him to leave you alone more firmly. If he is making rude comments to your family you absolutely have the right to tell him to leave you alone. How do you get on with his wife, could you perhaps have a word with her. He sounds like the archetypal busy-body, and these people can be very thick skinned, so just keep telling him, politely but firmly.

Answer 7

Well, decide what your boundaries are. Would you allow a little polite conversation, occasional hellos. It's clear that he's crossed the line a couple times. It is your job to just tell him what you find acceptable or not. Let's call him Wilson.

"Wilson, we would really like some private time in our yard today, I'll chat with you some other time."

"Wilson, I really need you to avoid those types of comments around my wife and children - it makes them uncomfortable."

"Wilson, thanks for your input, but I'm working a plan."

OR my fave techniques is to give it back to them is spades . . but that might create some neighbor tension.

Answer 8

If you are too chicken to talk to him then you're stuck with the situation. Tell him gently, "Merv I am here to relax with my family, we'll catch up tomorrow". It's a brush off but he should get the hint.

Otherwise, be a wimp and save up for your own fence.

Answer 9

Walk about naked next time you are outside, that will put him off OR erect a small alter in you garden and smear it with raw steak! Then go outside with 6 6 6 written on your head in Biro

Answer 10

I suggest you put up some 6ft + posts your side of the fence then add some trellis to the top of that! if that does not work try russian vine that will cover the fence and add height to it.. really annoying! (longer term solution obviously)

Answer 11

Plant a leylandii hedge this side of the fence. Keep it trimmed to 6 ft though, or you'll be sorry.